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BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/21/2006 11:45:06 AM

sub87

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/28/2006
Status: offline

Heye people, hows it going? Been wondering around these forums for a while now, but here is my first post.
Im a 19 year old sub from the UK and have had submissive feelings for almost as long as I can remember. I have talked and experienced several aspects of BDSM but mainly with people (a lot) older then me. But thought it be really cool to talk to some people more around my age and see how they are finding things. Would also love to hear what the more experienced remember from their first experiences at a younger age.
Cheers,
T.

Post #: 1

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/21/2006 11:57:35 AM

MistressTruth

Posts: 117
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline

I'm 22 years old now, but began calling myself consciously a Dominant at the age of 18. My real-time experience extends even further back than 18 as far as kinky activities go. I think I've been a sadist since about 6 honestly, and can remember the first time I was aware of my affinity for causing pain. On the topic of specific Dominant feelings, probably the same timing but sexually much later when I was hitting puberty. Early bloomer.

(in reply to sub87)

Post #: 2

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 12:57:28 AM

houblueeyes86

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/21/2006
Status: offline

I am still finding whether or not I am a top or a bottom. I do enjoy the conrol of being a top, but sometimes i like the pain. Will probably end up a dom, but wanted to try the sub thing at least once. I have been into some sort of BDSM since i was little. I guess it was ingrained into me. Well, anywho, best of luck on your journey.

(in reply to MistressTruth)

Post #: 3

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 7:01:56 AM

sub87

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/28/2006
Status: offline

Hey houblueeyes,
even tho I am written down as sub, and really do feel like one, every so often I still feel like I would enjoy being on top as well. Guess most people have that, even at an older age, or am I wrong?

(in reply to houblueeyes86)

Post #: 4

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 8:51:08 AM

jthorne

Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

I am 24 and a switch...I've had people ask me how I got seriously kinky (as in I'm very much for the mindset over the physicality) so young...and yes, like you I always had the feelings. More sub than anything, and especially the fondness for bondage, but as I've gone on in my sexual escapades and found the dominant-type partners lacking, I've developed my own sense that I'm trying to hone for the pleasure of others. My submission's now a gift that's in a very tight locked box *laugh*

What I find, though, is that people near my own age just aren't mature enough...I'm speaking with 30-40 year olds and finding in them intellectual and maturity equals, which appeals to me. I find some of the younger kids just way too infatuated with the scene and not willing to be serious. Have you found that too?

(in reply to sub87)

Post #: 5

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 9:04:16 AM

Liar

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/21/2006
From: India
Status: offline

in lifestyle M/many judge O/others by the age, I rem when I joined a local BDSM community, I was 20 that time, looking at a 20 years old Dom was funny thing for T/them. There was jokes behind M/my back, but I never cared.

_____________________________

L.I.A.R.

"On Gor it is said that free women are slaves who have not yet been collared"

http://www.castlerealm.com/

(in reply to sub87)

Post #: 6

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 9:25:47 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

23 and a switch. Been able to identify comfortably as a sub for about 4 years and slowly more comfortably as a Dominant for about 3 years. Although, now that I look back I had been more on the submissive side for many years. Much like how I had known I was bisexual from a very, very young age, I just didn't have anything to compare it to or a way to name it. It was never something that consumed me, not something that was severely noticable. It was just .....there. Just another part of me. But so was the masochist, which I never thought about either.

As for seriousness....I do tend to agree that the younger ones are a little too gung-ho and don't take the time and the patience to really learn the craft. Although there are some that do. Impressive to a degree, sure. But there are the qualities that just come with being young that are the ones that tend to annoy those of us of all ages. I tend to find people to talk to and friends that are older than me, yet no matter how fulfilling those conversations are, I'm dead sure that as mature as I may think I am or others may see me, they still see some of those attributes that we can't stand in others our age.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to jthorne)

Post #: 7

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 11:50:09 AM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

24 year old and a sub, started exploring properly at 16 and researching a couple of years before that but in all honesty I can't remember not being this way.
I'm a lifestyle submissive and I have to admit it's sometimes hard getting taken seriously when you are younger, when I was 18 was the worst time but now I am pretty well established here and life is going very well.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 8

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 12:55:37 PM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

Wow. There appears to be a lot more of U/us than i thought. i started out in real life at 18. On-line goes back to 14, but i wasn't serious about my choice then. i was a sub for all of that time except for a 4 month period where i tried to be a Switch unsuccessfully. i am now a slave for the first time in my life to Master and things are going well. i have also seen the trend in young people being too eager and thinking it is just fun and games. i'm very glad to see i'm not the only "young" one who seems to take this very seriously.

(in reply to amaidiamond)

Post #: 9

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 2:21:59 PM

darkslife

Posts: 43
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline

Honestly, in my dealings, I have found more serious younger people than those who take it as fun and games.

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 10

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 2:33:29 PM

SweetEscravo

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

There are a lot of us who do it from a young age, and a lot of us who find out about it later in life. I for one, realised what bdsm was and where I fit into it at a very tender age. Lets just say that I've got about four years of real-time experience, and I'm only eighteen. I found that I desired bdsm from an even younger age.

(in reply to darkslife)

Post #: 11

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 3:13:01 PM

Asako

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetEscravo

There are a lot of us who do it from a young age, and a lot of us who find out about it later in life. I for one, realised what bdsm was and where I fit into it at a very tender age. Lets just say that I've got about four years of real-time experience, and I'm only eighteen. I found that I desired bdsm from an even younger age.

Lucky. I've identified as a submissive since I hit puberty, but only just recently after turning 18 have I been able to actually get into the lifestyle.

(in reply to SweetEscravo)

Post #: 12

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 3:32:52 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have been in the lifestyle since I was age 18. My wonderful mentor decided after getting to know me for several months in a purely vanila manor tat I was missing out by not being part of the lifestyle. She tossed me in head first as it were, asking me to babysit two of her slaves while she had to go run an errand across campus. They were instructed to "thank" me properly after they finished their task. I had my first massage and pedicure at the hands of two very wel trained slaveboys. I was hooked, I loved the feeling of being served. I have been in and out of the lifestyle since, always depending on the person I was involved with at the time.
My boy, LoverForDomme, is 21, soon to be 22. He has a bit of experience before me, but not very much. He has known he was a sub for most of his life, as he tells me. The beauty, in my eyes, of an inexperienced and younger sub, is not having to break someone elses bad habits when training.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Asako)

Post #: 13

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 3:33:43 PM

TheShadows

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

I'm a 24 year old married female Dominant. I started investigating BDSM & D/s when I was about 17. I really got involved in looking for a partner as soon as I turned 18. I thought I was suppose to be submissive because I like a bit of pain.(WRONG!)

I played at being "submissive" for 4 years to my Dominant husband. I stiffled my Dominant nature by following flawed logic. I finally figured out that it's ok for me to be Dominant and a masochist. I became my real self. I've never been more sure about who I am, and I'm damn sure happier than ever.

I started and managed the first BDSM Munch and Party Group in our area when I was 18. I found the core group of dedicated members to be 35 years old and up. I ran into a little bit of age discrimination, but nothing over the top. I came in expecting it, which I think, made it a bit easier to rise above.

I tend to get along better with people who're older than I am, since I'm in an advanced stage of life for my age. Comparable experiences and all that. I've met a lot of great people. The young, the old, the "i don't know what nipple clamps are", and the "i've been throwing a single tail for over 20 years"....the list goes on and on. Overall, my 6 years of experience in BDSM and D/s has been great.

MrsShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to sub87)

Post #: 14

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 3:50:48 PM

sub87

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/28/2006
Status: offline

Wow, good to see that there are quite a few of us willing to speak up. Seems to be that most people are subs. Is that an age thing? That maybe some of us will grow out of? Is it because we are new at this that we all (play) subs? It also seems that most of us had these feelings at a (even) younger age. The same goes for me, although back then and even a while ago that striked me as odd, it now seems to make sense.

(in reply to TheShadows)

Post #: 15

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 4:03:05 PM

WickedlyDevine

Posts: 63
Joined: 10/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub87

Wow, good to see that there are quite a few of us willing to speak up. Seems to be that most people are subs. Is that an age thing? That maybe some of us will grow out of? Is it because we are new at this that we all (play) subs? It also seems that most of us had these feelings at a (even) younger age. The same goes for me, although back then and even a while ago that striked me as odd, it now seems to make sense.

Most are not subs, however I find that many begin as subs. There are many reasons for this, society and conformity being a major one. As a child we naturally submit and conform because it is easier. The reward for this is worthwhile vs the backlash. Thus when most enter into adulthood, we subconciously still crave that accepetance and reward from conforming. We all search for our niche when entering adulthood, usually starting at the bottom and working to get to our comfort level, wherever that may be. The lovely thing is, those who start out at the bottom and make their way top, tend to be the best tops, understanding both sides of the world.

(in reply to sub87)

Post #: 16

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 4:03:19 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Nope, not the case here, in the 10 years I've been reading, learning and playing it's always been as a sub, I did try switching but it didn't suit me at all, I do it occasionally now but it's normally far more for the person i'm with than myself..

(in reply to sub87)

Post #: 17

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 4:08:08 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub87

Heye people, hows it going? Been wondering around these forums for a while now, but here is my first post.
Im a 19 year old sub from the UK and have had submissive feelings for almost as long as I can remember. I have talked and experienced several aspects of BDSM but mainly with people (a lot) older then me. But thought it be really cool to talk to some people more around my age and see how they are finding things. Would also love to hear what the more experienced remember from their first experiences at a younger age.
Cheers,
T.

I'm 28, but when I got started initially I was around 18/19 and a virgin. I was lucky that I looked a little older than I was but it was still difficult because the assumption was that you needed some sort of parental figure to tell you what you needed to be doing right or wrong (or needed a mentor). And then there was also the perception from older female subs that somehow you were gonna steal their dominant (which truly did not interest me). Personally I found there was much more agism than racism in the scene (I'm not sure if thats true now, but initially when I got started I found that to be true in my personal experiences).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
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(in reply to sub87)

Post #: 18

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 4:24:57 PM

TheShadows

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

I don't think that the way someone identifies in the context of a D/s relationship has anything to do with age. I CAN'T, and WON'T, say that everyone who is young(er) that identifies as a submissive is "playing" at it. I can only say that I was, due to faulty information and logic. I failed to realize what it was I really wanted in the first place, then jumped in and did what I thought I was suppose to do, much to my detriment.

It didn't work for me, so I changed it. I had to take a good, long, and hard look inside myself to figure out who I really was as a person and what I really wanted out of BDSM and D/s in order to figure out who I am in the context of BDSM and D/s. Basically, I had to go back and do all the soul-searching and groundwork I should have done in the first place, before I ever got involved. In order for me to have grown out of being submissive, I would have had to been submissive in the first place. I outgrew trying to live against my nature.

As always, YMMV...

MrsShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to sub87)

Post #: 19

RE: BDSM at a young(er) age - 10/23/2006 4:42:03 PM

shadevarr

Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline

I was 19 when I finally figured out that I was a Dom but I started playing when I was 15. It has not been that easy of a road due to the age thing for me as well but I listened to what they had to say and took any advice that I could and did as much and read as much as I could. What I don't have in years I made up in experience.

(in reply to TheShadows)

Post #: 20

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