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A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 1:58:27 PM   
WickedlyDevine


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/17/2006
Status: offline 		In further defining who I am, I think at some times to better understand myself, other times to help others understand me, this is the closest definition I can find.  Leave it to me to not fit in a box.  What I am wondering is how to facilitate this?   
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 2:05:33 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Just be honest in your interactions.  One is your S/m orientation, the other is your D/s orientation.. you don't have to give up one to enjoy the other.  I'm a sadist by S/m definition and a slave by M/s definition. They are just two aspects which reside in the same bag of flesh, that's all. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to WickedlyDevine)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 2:15:34 PM   
Silvermoon


Posts: 156
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		You do not need to fit a label, nor make a label fit you. So many people say it, it's when you FEEL it, that you truly know and accept who you are.
Bisexual, Dominant, submissive, Masochist, Sadist...they are all labels and mix and match in endless varities.

Personally I'm more of a Poly-Try-Sexual-Submissive-Masochist, with Monogamous-Dominant-Sadist-Tendancies

*chuckles*
Silver

_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"In Manus Tuas Commendo Spiritum Moum"-Into Your Hands I Entrust My Spirit

"A man's word is his honor, his honor is his worth; Therefore a man who can not keep his word, is worthless"-Self Quote

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 8:49:15 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I think we are what we are, not everyone fits into one little box.  I have always identified myself as a submissive/slave sadistic macochist with Dominant tendancies

Cheers

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 8:57:00 PM   
WickedlyDevine


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/17/2006
Status: offline 		Lol, then why do people insist on putting me in that damn BOX?!!!!
I can't recall how many times I have been told I am submissive, because I am masochistic, grrrrrr.  Hey, I am a woman, I can be anything I want to be, and more, Hehe.


(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 9:00:34 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		What's really cool is we don't have to be in that tiny lil' box any longer.  Be who you are, explore who you are.

I identify as a Sadistic-Masochistic-Toppy-submissive like-slave.  What's even more amazing and awesome about it is:  I can be all these things and be slave to Thorns.  He recognizes all these things in me, and owns me as just that.  Me!

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 9:04:32 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		"Was it Keirkegaard, or Dick Van Patten, who said 'If you label me, you negate me?'"   Mike Myers, Waynes World.

Why exactly do you feel the need to tie yourself up in a pretty little coffin so everybody can view you as [blah]

I would recommend you create your own reality and find the one who wants to create it with you.

That is just me, and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to WickedlyDevine)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 9:04:42 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		I consider "the box" to be a starting point. I fit myself inside a label only so I can expand on it later. I mean.. if I HAD to give myself a label it would be something like "80 percent Dominant 20 percent submissive poly bi sexual sadistic masochist."

I like a button a friend once described to me... It says "Poly bisexual switch. I'm not indesicive, I'm just greedy."

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 9:45:44 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Certainly some labels are more for a sake of a relationship dynamic, while others are those that connote more of a 'play' or at least 'occasional play' dynamic.

And as much as I understand with crystal clarity what the terms 'mean', it is true that how they apply to us individually sometimes gets a little complex.

If we were all vanilla, it would take a lot of the complexity away from how we determine a partner.  We're all back to equal ground, with whatever interests we have, and we look for compatibility.

All of the naysayers aside, maybe I'm just looking for a fight.  Perhaps we should all call ourselves switches (the BDSM version of vanilla) and put ourself on another sort of equal ground, and looking for some sort of compatibility.

Have at it.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to WickedlyDevine)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/21/2006 11:04:00 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		Why does this thread have me thinking of interesting ways to play with boxes?

(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 1:47:21 AM   
reversecuckold


Posts: 17
Joined: 2/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

Why does this thread have me thinking of interesting ways to play with boxes?
 

My last girlfriend had a lovely "box" that I enjoyed playing with.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 7:22:41 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
And as much as I understand with crystal clarity what the terms 'mean', it is true that how they apply to us individually sometimes gets a little complex.

If we were all vanilla, it would take a lot of the complexity away from how we determine a partner.  We're all back to equal ground, with whatever interests we have, and we look for compatibility.

All of the naysayers aside, maybe I'm just looking for a fight.  Perhaps we should all call ourselves switches (the BDSM version of vanilla) and put ourself on another sort of equal ground, and looking for some sort of compatibility.

Have at it.

Jeff


Jeff,  i am rapidly coming to the conclusion that "W/we" are all pretty much just as vanilla as the next, and "they" might be not so vanilla as assumed.   O/our labels seem to be nothing more than tic-marks on a continuem of humanities ruler.  The more i look, the more i find that ALL relationships are power exchange based to some degree or another.  i haven't started banging my drum on that til i have fleshed it out a bit, but i can feel the beat coming..

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 7:45:59 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I'm a non-gender specific (some folks read that as bi-sexual), sado-masochistic dominant woman.  I'm not a switch and have no interest in submitting.  When I do wish to indulge in my masochistic side I look for skilled tops that don't need submission from me.  Then we play like animals.

Screw boxes (isn't that what they're for???)


_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to WickedlyDevine)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 12:30:33 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz
Screw boxes (isn't that what they're for???)


Hmm, I've heard of a smother box.  Wonder how a screw box works.

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 1:41:46 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		What we do does not necessarily define who we are. Boxes and labels are simply used as easy was to communicate.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to WickedlyDevine)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 1:47:28 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I am of the opinion that women of ANY orientation have a different way of processing through pain then men are capable of understanding, so I do not find it unnatural for a woman to be in control and Dominatrix in life view, and still fall lovingly into the arms of pain............  

Ronne (no pain, please-- kinda Dom(me))


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 7:05:24 PM   
WickedlyDevine


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/17/2006
Status: offline 		*grin.....sigh*

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 7:20:41 PM   
TheShadows


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline 		I'm a Female Dominant Sado-Masochist.  How do I facilitate my need for a beating every once in a great while?  I find Sadist Top/Dom friends that I trust and negotiate an S/M scene.  What's a little flogging, spanking, gagging, and clamping between friends?  Usually I just tell my husband, who also happens to be a Dominant Sado-Masochist, that I need a beating and he's always happy to oblige. 

The next time someone decides to label you submissive just because you're a bit of a masochist, ask them if they could be any more obtuse and narrow-minded, and move on.  You're responsible for your own happiness.  Don't let the views of others control how you choose to create that happiness.

As always, YMMV...

MrsShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to WickedlyDevine)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/22/2006 10:22:57 PM   
jthorne


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		All you can do is figure out how you want to manifest that, and you should be proud of having figured it out.

I've been told I must suck as a domme because I'm not the slightest bit sadistic (when it comes to physical, anyway...), and I think that's a load of horsepuckey. Don't stick me in the box when I don't belong there! That goes for you too. Life's more fun outside the box, we have more cavorting room *grin*

(in reply to WickedlyDevine)
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RE: A Domme Masochist?! - 10/23/2006 5:35:04 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I define as a Domme who sometimes likes to bottom with my sub. I am always in charge and we do things my way, I just tell him how and when I want it.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to WickedlyDevine)
Profile   Post #: 20
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