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Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/21/2006 2:35:00 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Started answering another thread and found myself with some questions about how it is easier to accept my Doms command to play with Dommes vs my response to His command to play with another female sub/slave.  I am not bisexual however He has referred to Himself as poly.  He has compromised and said that in the future He will not play with another unless We/we are together.  He also has stated that it is a decision we will make together as to who we might decide to play with.  In recent play sessions He has asked 2 Dommes and a sub/slave to join us.  I don't like the idea but then when presented with the command i obey.  I have found it is much easier for me to allow the Dommes to touch me than it is for me to allow another sub/slave to do the very same thing.  Am wondering if anyone has an idea as to why this is happening, if this means i could serve a Domme or if i am truly monogomous or just what it might mean.  I know that no one can tell me exactly since i must decide for myself but am interested in hearing others opinions and their experiences.   Thank you for your input.  Not sure this is where this thread should be listed but was unsure where to put it.

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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/21/2006 3:21:53 PM   
draba


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline 		Not sure either. But I will share that my Mistress once presented me to a Dom and it disturbed me. However I would do the same thing with a sub/slave and do not feel as violated. Just the opposite of of you.

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/21/2006 3:38:08 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		The boundaries for sexuality may be different for people for conventional intimacy versus BDSM. That is, a person may identify as heterosexual for conventional intimacy, and bisexual for BDSM activity.

When you say touch by a domme, are you referring to conventional sexual activity or BDSM activity? Is the same answer applicable for when you refer to touch by a sub?

I wonder if you are open to bisexuality with respect to BDSM but not comfortable with it with respect to conventional sex or intimacy.

For draba, it seems the boundary is not intimacy with another man but submission to another man.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to draba)
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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/21/2006 3:43:15 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		greetings diamond
personally ;i can not stand sub slaves male or female ;just my luck to get stuck with one as a date;people that know me would laff their azzez off;but if she has a sub male or sickening # 2 sub female and she comands him or her to ignore or dom me while shes domming him or her ;it seems quite allrite, as long as i have my place, but to be unseated is what youre talking about;not bisexual vs straight right?,but ,
if i tried to give you examples, or tell you why or how i can not stand subs and slaves ;it would take forever,the reasons are just far ,too numerous ,to mention;trust me; you are justified;it's natural ,as far as i am concerned;so....
what are you?....
number two slave now?!
is how i look at it ;just what do you settle for?.....
are you desperate?;
not "the- best slave"?;
don't have a special place, under him or her? ;
i'd run ,not walk, if a troop of "slaves" came running in;they'll have your scalp;
take your crown;
brown-nosing your top ,for the goods;
clean your space and dig in....
no thanks
signed,
opinionated for sure....

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 10/21/2006 3:54:37 PM >

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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/21/2006 4:11:02 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

The boundaries for sexuality may be different for people for conventional intimacy versus BDSM. That is, a person may identify as heterosexual for conventional intimacy, and bisexual for BDSM activity.

When you say touch by a domme, are you referring to conventional sexual activity or BDSM activity? Is the same answer applicable for when you refer to touch by a sub?

I wonder if you are open to bisexuality with respect to BDSM but not comfortable with it with respect to conventional sex or intimacy.

For draba, it seems the boundary is not intimacy with another man but submission to another man.

Cheers,

Sea


That wouldn't be unusual.

I consider being dom/sadist as my primary sexuality, thus I have had women subs and trainees before but I'm not attracted to women in any vanilla sense.

Of course, I'm actually not interested in having a vanilla relationship with a man either other than my husband and it may be debateable just how "vanilla" we are when we are both kinky ourselves.

I don't even really like to say that I'm poly either because I have zero interest in vanilla relationships or casual sex, I just like having a family of people who answer to me, serve me, and with whom I can share my body if I so wish to.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to undergroundsea)
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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/21/2006 7:24:06 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		When i say touched i mean both sexually as well as in the bdsm sense.  Perhaps that is the difference a Domme is in control and i obey which is acceptable.   I am not afraid that the other sub/slave will take my place for i know that could happen at anytime in this life.  I just don't want the females sub/slaves to touch me sexually although i suppose if they were to flog me under direction i think i would feel different.

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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/21/2006 7:44:57 PM   
cabernet


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/10/2004
Status: offline 		I am not a Mistress but I saw your question and thought I might take a stab at it, I hope you don't mind.  It seems like you would like to be monogamous, while your Dom would prefer to be poly.  Maybe you feel more comfortabe with the female Domme because you feel like your Dom is more likely not to want to become involved with her.  If he were to like the other sub, it could maybe mean that he would want to have her for more than just play.

That is not my only idea...  I am assuming that since you are a sub, you prefer a dominant man (my powers of deduction are amazing aren't they?)  While you may feel that you are not bisexual you may be responding to the more dominant approach that the Dommes probably have as compared to the other submissive woman.  In your mind you may see the dominance as being more masculine, or you may just be attracted to the dominance itself.  I don't know if this means you could serve a dominant female or not.  Playing with another woman for an evening is different from seeing her on a regluar basis or serving her in a relationship.

Anyway, I hope this helped!

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/22/2006 1:53:06 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		First, are you bisexual by nature? If not, this may be leading to a lot of your discomfort. Also, are you a person who engages in sex on a casual basis, or only when in relationships? If you're not casual about sex, the casualness of the "hook-ups" might be bothereing. you. If you have a fear of being replaced, which is a perfectly valid fear (I have it, too), talk to your Dominant about it. Perhaps there is something he can do that's subtle, to ensure you of your place such as, only you get to do a certain act for or with him.

Master Fire


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(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/22/2006 2:35:15 PM   
LAMPedge


Posts: 24
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		Perhaps it is that you prefer what you started with, and thought you had - a Dom.

You can deal ok with the Domme, because she is a Dominant figure, regardless of any sexual activity or not, but not with the sub because you don't want a sub or a female partner in any way.

You really need to talk to your Dom about this. If this is not right for you and he insists on it, he is not looking out for you at all, only himself, and that is not a healthy relationship.



(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Domme sexuality vs. sub/slave and bisexuality - 10/22/2006 11:05:19 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for all your comments they are appreciated.  I am secure in my relationship with my Dom although i am not comfortable with bisexuality when it comes to me.  I have no problem with it in others as long as it is not being pushed upon me.  Anyway thanks again for your input.

diamond

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

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