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RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 8:48:59 AM   
slut4cum2004


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Thanks all. I'm happy to have heard so many examples of real love.

What I conclude is, that I loved, but was never loved back. No wonder I'm so cynical.

E




Lady Ellen,

i agree with you 100%!  i know that i loved my husband unconditionally.  even when i was angry with him, his look could melt my heart!

but i know now that he did not love me.  he divorced me this month (just short of our 5th wedding anniversary), claiming he was no longer attracted to me because i gained weight.  during our marriage, i went from a size 16 to a size 20jeans. 

so those self centered, self absorbed pricks on Jerry Springer are real!  unfortunately some of us make the mistake of marrying them!

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 9:44:18 AM   
swtsouthernsub


Posts: 477
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		Riches do not bring happiness.
Finding peace with  yourself  will

Expensive presents  will never make up for unloving actions.
Learn  to love with  your actions  not just with your  purse alone.

Better is a handful with quietness than both hands full with travail and vexation of spirit

All  of the gold or silver in the world is not worth as much as the abiding love of another .

Give your love as a precious gift  to a mate worthy of your care and affection .
Set me as a seal upon thine heart , as a seal upon thine arm; for love is strong as death    SONG OF SOLOMON 8:6

_____________________________

DEBBIE
Messenger Of Truth
Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and redeemer
Psalms 19:14

Those with a closed mind live a sheltered life.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 9:47:08 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtsouthernsub

Riches do not bring happiness.
SONG OF SOLOMON 8:6


While this may be entirely accurate, having had a great deal of money one time in my life I can assure you that it buys things that for all intents and purposes can look so much like happiness that it is difficult to discern a difference.

Richie Rich


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to swtsouthernsub)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 10:01:02 AM   
gretchenS


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Such breaches may include changing in appearance (getting fat, looking old, disfigurement etc), changes to the sexual side of the contract (failure to perform, revelation of some sort of kink etc), changes to the monetary side (losing a job, inadvisable investment, wasting money etc), failure to meet material expectations (new house, new car, new furniture etc), and so on.


To me, these breaches are not strong enough to make me go away from his side, and I know he feels the same. We've been into really bad times, but we have managed to survive all together, holding eachother's hands.

Sounds really cheesy, but is the reality in my case.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 10:14:35 AM   
swtsouthernsub


Posts: 477
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		Yes I  would agree with you  100%

But we must as humans be able to determine what makes us happy wether its things we've purchased or  not.  at the time they made you happy correct ?

I get that shoppers remorse thing   and feel so quilty when i know i really didnt need that just wanted it  feeling

now (IMO)  have found that the simplier things in life are my riches  and not purchases I've made


_____________________________

DEBBIE
Messenger Of Truth
Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and redeemer
Psalms 19:14

Those with a closed mind live a sheltered life.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 10:29:22 AM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Ah, love.  A word we all know, a feeling most of us experience.  A concept we rarely understand.

For once, I can't define it.  It's an emotion we all feel differently. 

Lots of people are in love with love.  This isn't related to the emotional attachment between two people, it's simply a reflection of wishful thinking.  The glitter and glamor of new love that sends sparkles in our eyes; infatuation.  It sometimes leads to more, but someone in love with love will go out of their way to ignore every reason they should not be in love.  In fact, the more difficult the circumstances, the more 'against the odds' the more appealing the romance becomes. 

Others are in love with themselves.  This obsession of ego tends to set high standards for a love interest - usually measured in dollar signs and social stature.  The flashier the car, the brighter the smile, and the more popular the object of affection is, the more driven the 'love' becomes.  As bank accounts drop and smiles tarnish, so too can the love evaporate.

There's desperate love, like love with love, an emotional roller coaster fueled by the ups and downs of love.  When the dust has settled and the crisis over, this fleeting love simply evaporates.

Obviously, none of these are love.  Obviously, this only scratches the surface of potential relationship failures.  None of them are even remotely grounded in what real love is made of - mutual interests, intimacy, friendship, and shared experiences (to name just a few.)  For a romantic relationship (such as marriage or long term dating) to work, obviously some measure of sexual fulfillment is necessary on both sides.  Different people have different libidos.  Same with a measure of materialistic expectations.  A very materialistic man probably won't be happy married to a woman who buys used furniture and wall mart jewelry.  However, a measure of financial stability, sexual fulfillment, personal fulfillment, and complementary lifestyles are simply basic requirements for any couple to work.

Love is real, but finding it requires a lot of personal investment.  Some people, I think, simply aren't capable of the kind of personal and emotional investment required for a successful loving relationship.  This doesn't mean they don't become lonely or need affection, just that they aren't emotionally equipped or psychologically mature enough to give of themselves in a way that permits a two way relationship.

And, sadly, as we live in a society that rewards social and emotional reclusion through vicarious emotional experiences (especially television and movies) we can all experience the joys of love, without any of the silly risks entailed.  It's much less expensive to pay the cable bill than to buy a diamond ring.  It's much easier to share a virtual existence with a cyber lover than to actually take them on a date.




_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to gretchenS)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 10:32:16 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtsouthernsub

Riches do not bring happiness.
Finding peace with  yourself  will

Expensive presents  will never make up for unloving actions.
Learn  to love with  your actions  not just with your  purse alone.

Better is a handful with quietness than both hands full with travail and vexation of spirit

All  of the gold or silver in the world is not worth as much as the abiding love of another .

Give your love as a precious gift  to a mate worthy of your care and affection .
Set me as a seal upon thine heart , as a seal upon thine arm; for love is strong as death    SONG OF SOLOMON 8:6


Lovely, sweet.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to swtsouthernsub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 10:42:28 AM   
swtsouthernsub


Posts: 477
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		Thank You
I'm just in a sappy sweet mood this morning

_____________________________

DEBBIE
Messenger Of Truth
Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and redeemer
Psalms 19:14

Those with a closed mind live a sheltered life.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 11:37:01 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline
THE LOVE OF A MASTER
Is it something we don't think of as being shown ? Does it seem sometimes as if it is a struggle to obtain that which you think you have not yet secured, the love, sometimes any sign of love from your Master ? Are those late nights blocked from your memory, do you not take in those times...still thinking kink, yes, even after... aftercare ? There is much to be said for that...but
 
Think back...young temptress, recall those blissful mid-summer nights breeze under the pleasant, star-lit sky...warm and soothing, across your brow ? Have you not, young lamb, lie down with your lion in his arms...telling you of his love, whispering in your ear, telling you just how good you are and how well you are doing. These are those other moments to savor and...remember how you feel.
 
The master slices your life into little sections of time, each as much or more meaningful than even those of the fawning of the new vanilla bride. Every one of these moments, are as valuable as the next. Exercise the memory of your heart young slave and like all muscles, it gets stronger.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 1:45:33 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		I'm sorry everyone. I'm down, and going lower, and this was a very self indulgent thread to start. I'm alone and lonely, and without a hope in hell, and was mulling over a marriage that ended nearly five years ago now, to the one and only person with whom I ever had a relationship. We met at school, so really we were together nearly twenty years. But it seems to me now, they were only ever interested in my earning potential and they were never contented with that, nor with the career choices I made just to give them what they wanted, which was to keep up with their sister, even though I was competing against two salaries there.

I thought there was love. I thought there was trust. I thought that no matter what, it wouldnt affect us. I was wrong, even though I was promised these things in order to get me to talk about what had been worrying me. Within a week of being told in confidence, they had spread it to all of my family and all of their friends. Then came the accusations of what a poor provider I was because of con artists with whom I had unwittingly taken employment at a good salary, to provide for them. It was all my fault, everything, forever. Of course I knew they were hurt and angry.

Seeing as how everyone knew, the next thing was for me to be turfed out, though of course still expected to provide. That was the start of my first suicidal episode, which along with the extraordinary lack of sympathy in my then job, culminated in a breakdown. When my ex told me to get on with it and kill myself, that just told me all I needed to know. Hurt and angry of course, and by then fucking everyone up and down the street, as they had always wanted to.

I kept it together for my children since then, left the abusive employment I was in, and to all appearances am doing well. But to be frank, I feel so scarred by the whole experience that I'm not sure I could ever have trust in anyone ever again, and cannot see love as being in any way real. At the same time, I am so damned lonely and I'm not sure I can take it much longer. If I want to be me, I will always be lonely, but who else can I be? And with the baggage I have, what good would it do me to be anyone else anyway?

Explanation and apology over. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm going to take a few days to think it all through, and see whether there can be any future for me which doesnt involve slowly dying inside.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 1:53:28 PM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline 		The day my daughter was born, I lost my father to lung cancer.
My husband and I were together for 10 years when they discovered that he had cancer. We were married for a year, to the day, when he passed away. My oldest sister passed away 7 months later in a car accident; and my mother two years to the day that my sister died.

Though I can in no way compare the tragedies in my life to what you are going through, I do understand the depths of despair that one can sink into.

If you want to talk, you know where I am on the other side

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 1:58:44 PM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		I know that life often sucks donkey balls, but it does get better. Sounds trite, but it is true - there is always hope.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 2:23:17 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Lady Ellen,
 
I am so sorry you are going through this.  I know when we have been hurt by someone, it's easy to feel like love doesn't exist, or that we are even unlovable.  It makes us close ourselves up to even the hope it could happen again.
 
You seem like such a wonderful person from your posts I have seen here, and you deserve to feel like you should be happy.  Please take all of the time you need to grieve for what you thought existed, sometimes losing a love, is almost like a dealing with death.  I suspect more-so when we feel that everything we knew was a lie.
 
I wish you all the best, please always know how special you are.
 
Akasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to lauren0221)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 2:25:06 PM   
degradess


Posts: 68
Joined: 7/15/2005
Status: offline 		Ditto for me Lady Ellen....probably one of the reasons Ive gone domme....can't let anyone control things right now.  But it sucks in many ways...........

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 2:29:11 PM   
angelspassion4u


Posts: 632
Joined: 7/17/2006
From: Angels
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I'm sorry everyone. I'm down, and going lower, and this was a very self indulgent thread to start. I'm alone and lonely, and without a hope in hell, and was mulling over a marriage that ended nearly five years ago now, to the one and only person with whom I ever had a relationship. We met at school, so really we were together nearly twenty years. But it seems to me now, they were only ever interested in my earning potential and they were never contented with that, nor with the career choices I made just to give them what they wanted, which was to keep up with their sister, even though I was competing against two salaries there.

I thought there was love. I thought there was trust. I thought that no matter what, it wouldnt affect us. I was wrong, even though I was promised these things in order to get me to talk about what had been worrying me. Within a week of being told in confidence, they had spread it to all of my family and all of their friends. Then came the accusations of what a poor provider I was because of con artists with whom I had unwittingly taken employment at a good salary, to provide for them. It was all my fault, everything, forever. Of course I knew they were hurt and angry.

Seeing as how everyone knew, the next thing was for me to be turfed out, though of course still expected to provide. That was the start of my first suicidal episode, which along with the extraordinary lack of sympathy in my then job, culminated in a breakdown. When my ex told me to get on with it and kill myself, that just told me all I needed to know. Hurt and angry of course, and by then fucking everyone up and down the street, as they had always wanted to.

I kept it together for my children since then, left the abusive employment I was in, and to all appearances am doing well. But to be frank, I feel so scarred by the whole experience that I'm not sure I could ever have trust in anyone ever again, and cannot see love as being in any way real. At the same time, I am so damned lonely and I'm not sure I can take it much longer. If I want to be me, I will always be lonely, but who else can I be? And with the baggage I have, what good would it do me to be anyone else anyway?

Explanation and apology over. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm going to take a few days to think it all through, and see whether there can be any future for me which doesnt involve slowly dying inside.

E


I wish you lots of good luck on this journey. I too have had to go through a journey some what like this. Don't let it distroy you.  Come away from it with a stronger person inside. It is very hard to do. But worth it in the end.  Hugs  take care of yourself.

_____________________________

Recommends books by Victoria Morris through Pink Flamingo publishers.
"You can PLEASE some people some of the time, most people most of the time, but NEVER all the people all of the time."

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 3:04:12 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I'd have to say your wrong also.
Been married 19 yrs here. He and I have changed in some ways Drasticly over the years. Was 10 yrs married when I realized I was submissive and wanted to explore and find out more and learn about me. Him- totaly supportive.
and we are still happy- he is my best friend

One thing I do beleive with all my heart- is that there is love out there for everyone





_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 3:21:14 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		Love doesn't exist. It's a blanket term for a host of physical and mental reactions between two people, some we don't have control of and some that are as base as him wanting to fuck her and her wanting him to provide. Life is about procreation and little else and people like to put a sugarcoating on it to give life meaning. Love is a state of madness, we become psychotic when we are in love and like religion it is also delusional. We reinforce the lies to we tell ourself to say there is a spiritual connection between us and a lover, rather than admit to an instinctual reaction and a cold calculation that they will materially provide for ones needs.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 3:28:35 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		meatcleaver, I feel so sorry for you.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 3:53:54 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Love doesn't exist. It's a blanket term for a host of physical and mental reactions between two people, some we don't have control of and some that are as base as him wanting to fuck her and her wanting him to provide. Life is about procreation and little else and people like to put a sugarcoating on it to give life meaning. Love is a state of madness, we become psychotic when we are in love and like religion it is also delusional. We reinforce the lies to we tell ourself to say there is a spiritual connection between us and a lover, rather than admit to an instinctual reaction and a cold calculation that they will materially provide for ones needs.



ACTUALLY ... physical and mental events don't exist except as epiphenomena on the interactions between the foci of the Unified Field of Love (you and me), or as the fear-inspired delusions of those who lack the stomach to dive into Love. The infinite power of love inspires a wide range of emotions. Those struck primarily by fear typically respond by denying the existence of the sea in which they are floating. They struggle vainly to keep their head above the "water," afraid to dive deep and breathe it in and confront their intrinsic nature, preferring instead to imagine that clothing and crap and corpuscles are the basis of the human experience.

To imagine that your body is what gives rise to your experience of life is like imagining that your avatar picture is what gives rise to your internet connection.

These poor, cringing, deluded souls traffic in all manner of theoretical constructs, like separateness, temporality and causality, terrified to confront their spiritual selves, to acknowledge and sink into the love that surrounds them, the love which constitutes their being and all being.

They reinforce the lies they tell themselves at every opportunity with theories about how the human experience is based in biology rather than based in spirit and manifested in biology. This rather than to admit to the fundamental immanant and transcendent reality of Love.

But whaddaya gonna do, you know? With luck one day they'll find the stones to be what they are. In the mean time we can make allowances for them, huh? The poor things.

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Love. Actually? - 10/22/2006 3:57:08 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Love is knowing that you would absolutely, without a doubt die for someone.
I have seven people in my life that I would die for.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 40
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