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RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/22/2006 11:25:45 AM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		Uh.....Yeeeeeeah.

I'm really not sure where it falls into ANY business person's "Code of Ethics" to answer a question that basically translated to, "Wow, that was really fun, I had a great time!  Know any places where I could enjoy these goods and services for free?"

*shakes her head*  I cannot believe anyone would ask that question and expect a serious answer.

--M

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is this behavior common among Pro Dommes? - 10/22/2006 11:50:35 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

I would say the behavior is uncommon, and I would suggest she MIGHT have either been unaware, or had other motives as well.  Yes, there are greedy pro-domme out there, who are all in it for the money.  From what I've seen and talked with others about, my experience, and thiers, tends to be that pro-domme are women who get bombarded with constant and overwhelming demand for time and attention.  Instead of just turning down everyone they go pro, and give people who would otherwise never have the option, a way to play with them.  I just got started in my local 'scene'.  I am still waiting to see the dynamic when more of them realize I do professional sessions.  I'm not hiding it, but I'm not exactly screaming it from the mountain tops.


The average life of a Pro is about 2 years- if they are in demand.  Where do I get my info?  From TALKING to them over the years.. by talking to those who were clients. If someone has been doing it for years.. I would have to ask how many they see consistantly in one day. 
 
The burnout is high because you DO get the ones that just come to play and there is no connection other than the fee for play.  It's like going to a wonderful banquet in which all your favorites are laid before you and you fill your plate,  put the food in your mouth only to realize you may chew but not swallow.
 
Then you get the the ones everybody else refuses ..and you eventually will take them because too much refusing of  "clients" is not good for business. It will wear on you and ruin your reputation eventually.  A happy customer will tell his freinds..but an unhappy person will tell thousands. 
 
We do have a forum here for advertising of services- under Professional Services.  Maybe we need a new forum for just Professional Person's Discussion- or ask a Pro?


Respectfully stated, I have no idea why you think the pro dommes you have talked to represent all of them.  Some pro dommes do not have a revolving door, and just because some do pro sessions, does not mean that is all they do, or they provide sessions for every willing client.  It also does not mean they are totally consumed time wise in their life  in doing sessions, and that is what their life revolves around.  I am only replying to this thread because I felt bound to point out there are some very respected members of these forums that perform pro sessions at times.  The one that leaps to my mind is goddessdustygold, whom I consider a dear friend, and in no way shape or form could any of your statements be applied to her, and I am SURE she is not alone in her actions or ideals.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is this behavior common among Pro Dommes? - 10/22/2006 11:58:21 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I know Dusty and Ms Pam as well.  I'm sure they understrand my comments are general from my past experience.
 
These guys (clients) just seemed so confused, don't they?  I'm just trying to help and give them a reality check.  It's not the domme's fault - it is the client's own need. 
 
They also need to know how the majority of the pro's become pro.  That is something that is seldom discussed.  It's one of those 600 pound gorillas in the room situtation.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is this behavior common among Pro Dommes? - 10/22/2006 12:11:18 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		general reply

I met a strap on freak once, his first post was regarding some conversation he had with a prodomme..............the bottom line was he he became very confused with the difficulty of the situation and asked the question, is this behavior common among prodommes?

Well this shook the very foundations of my understanding of human interaction, let me tell you.........

And so I am beseeching input on the obviously mindboggling question, is this question  commonly asked by all strap on freaks?

?????





_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is this behavior common among Pro Dommes? - 10/22/2006 12:12:53 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		I am not disagreeing with you about some of the pros, (and to all the other pro dommes who post on here that I highly respect also, I did not mean to slight you but not naming you, you are indeed many on here) but it's like any time the words "always", "never" etc. are used.  I do feel that although you have valid reasons for your opinion, maybe if you are trying to tell them about the gorilla it should be said "This is what you need to look out for" rather than generalizing and giving the impression that most, instead of just some, have the traits of who you are trying to help them know about.  I just feel it is a true disservice to many to lump them all together, with the attitude that the ones you speak of constitute the majority, rather than the minority.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/22/2006 12:16:52 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I don't think there's enough information here to say what was happening.

You're committed to your view that you are a sincere submissive and that she knowingly deceived and bilked you.  Your assertion that a vanilla woman's life would be ruined by this domme's misinformation does seem a little hysterical.  Maybe she's a bad apple. Maybe it was a "business" decision on her part.  Maybe your sincerity was not as apparent to her as it is to you.  Maybe it was just bad communication between the two of you.  Who knows? 

I'm not usually one to suggest objectivity, but it may be that when you step back from the situation, you find that the situation is not as "Here's another example of an unethical proDomme ripping someone off" as it initially seems to you.

Congratulations on finding a group of like-minded people in your area!

MSS

(edited because I cannot seem to spell)

< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 10/22/2006 12:24:24 PM >

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--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/22/2006 7:15:13 PM   
StrapOnFreak


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the replies,

Morrigel, are you saying you wouldn't be p*ssed off if you paid money to work out at a gym, then asked the owner about setting up a treadmill at home, and got told it wasn't feasible, later finding out that it was?

kc692, doesn't the fact that she took money from me make her my Domme and give her a responsibility to look out for me?

NinaSharp, I was referred to her by an escort, before that I knew I had fantasies about getting done with a strap-on but before I hired her I literally didn't know what BDSM or a Domme or anything was. I didn't even start looking on the net until afterwards (probably not the best move but everything is 20/20 in hindsight). But you raise a good point about how big the NYC community is, I don't know how it would be possible for a Dominant who's been pro for several times what LotusSong says is the average of 2 years to not know about it. Also don't you think she should have been honest enough to at least tell me to look for BDSM clubs on the net. BTW I think the way you say you acted should be a model for all ProDommes.

MizSuz, what do you mean when you talk about "the possibility that she wasn't just trying to 'corner your market'? ". Also good to hear that you were intoducing your clients to lifestylers.

This isn't a rant about how hard it is to find a lifestyle Domme, because I'm sure that I will be able to "make it" in the scene. Also I'm not "bent over having to pay for .. neediness" as I have absolutely zero need for a Domme, pro or nonpro, who tells lies to keep a Sub (even if there were 1000 Subs to every Domme I don't think many would play with a Domme they didn't trust). I just feel really betrayed that I trusted someone, not just with my money but with my fantasies, who then lied to me. If I had the chance of going back in time and making the play never happen, I wouldn't hesitate to do it, even if I didn't get the money back.

So I guess the question to ask what standards of behaviour should a Sub expect from their Domme, and are these standards different if she's a pro compared to a non-pro?

Good to see all pros aren't like this though,

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/22/2006 7:26:48 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrapOnFreak
Morrigel, are you saying you wouldn't be p*ssed off if you paid money to work out at a gym, then asked the owner about setting up a treadmill at home, and got told it wasn't feasible, later finding out that it was?


I am saying that I would never be rude and silly enough to ask the people at the gym a question about how I could get the same benefits they give me for 50 bucks a month without having to pay for it.

It's rude and not very bright to put ANY business person in that position.

For the record, I also don't ask my professional masseuse where I can get a free backrub, my hairstylist where I can get a free haircut, my mechanic where I can get my car fixed for free, or my waittress where the nearest soup kitchen might be, in case I might ever want another meal.  It is not the responsibility of a business professional to help me acquire their product from someone else free of charge.

--M

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/22/2006 8:26:47 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Not all pros are like that, and in my opinion, in answer to your question about didn't paying her make her your Domme, no it didn't.  You paid for a service and got it.  Her only responsibility was to treat you in a safe, sane, and consensual manner during your session.  I know a lot of other dommes that would have helped you, and maybe that makes this one not as ethical as others think she should be( and personally I would hope one would give you the direction) but, as far as responsibility, no I do not think she was a domme involved with you(notice there is no possessiveness there)any longer than even you intended her to be, which was the duration of the session. A domme is not your domme just because of a play session. 

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 4:29:20 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrapOnFreak

kc692, doesn't the fact that she took money from me make her my Domme and give her a responsibility to look out for me?


No...it only entitled you to the scene that you negotiated and paid for, nothing more, nothing less.  It most certainly didn't entitle you to some level of relationship that the term "your domme" indicates - it's like calling the escort you paid to have sex with you "your girlfriend". 

I also don't think she was being all that dishonest with you - female dominants are in the minority, and it's not easy to find one for a relationship, no matter how active of a local BDSM community there is.  The fact that you are very young, not particularly knowledgable about the lifestyle, and seemingly fixated on one sexual activity rather than looking to serve someone are all negatives that you're going to have to work hard at overcoming.

Rather than sink your energy into trying to figure out if you'd been "done wrong" by a prodomme you had a professional interaction with, I'd start spending some time learning about the lifestyle and find out what you have to offer a potential domme other than showing up and bending over.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 10/23/2006 4:42:09 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 5:58:47 AM   
Aubre


Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline 		I think MisSuz is right, it is entirely possible that the prodomme in question didn't know about the people you found after meeting her. Anyway she is under no obligation to send you somewhere that would keep you from coming back to her, it is a business. It really isn't worth brooding over - you've found your local scene, get out there and have fun.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 8:02:52 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		-- She runs a business where she must retain client's attentions to make end's meet. 

-- She's not a BDSM community referral service.  She's under no obligation to render you any information.  That's what you have the internet for, young man of 20.  You could walk your arse into Purple Passion and check the bulletin board, or google NYC and BDSM and find TES, one of the nation's oldest BDSM groups.

-- Not all pros have any CLUE or even care to know about the lifestyle BDSM scene. 

-- And some of us who have lived or done scene stuff in NY still don't feel there is a sense of "community" there, but that's a personal opinion.

Let's not break into the morals conversation.  YOU are the one who is seeking services from an escort and alot can be construed from that with your being only age 20.  Kay?





_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 8:06:02 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

I am saying that I would never be rude and silly enough to ask the people at the gym a question about how I could get the same benefits they give me for 50 bucks a month without having to pay for it.

It's rude and not very bright to put ANY business person in that position.

For the record, I also don't ask my professional masseuse where I can get a free backrub, my hairstylist where I can get a free haircut, my mechanic where I can get my car fixed for free, or my waittress where the nearest soup kitchen might be, in case I might ever want another meal.  It is not the responsibility of a business professional to help me acquire their product from someone else free of charge.

--M

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is this behavior common among Pro Dommes? - 10/23/2006 11:32:02 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I know Dusty and Ms Pam as well.  I'm sure they understrand my comments are general from my past experience.
 
They also need to know how the majority of the pro's become pro.  That is something that is seldom discussed.  It's one of those 600 pound gorillas in the room situtation.


I am quoting Lotus, since she poses an important question, but My response is directed at any interested parties, as well as the OP. 
*Waves to Lotus* 
*Thanks kc for bringing this thread to My attention*
Yes, it is oft misunderstod how Pros become Pros, in the first place.
I will not presume to answer for others, but for Me...
I am too often approached with the idea that this is all a wonderful way to play, and since I am also interested in and enjoy similar activities, I should want to get together with any man who has the same scenario in mind.  Not so! I was too often asked and offered money to spend time with Me.  After a while it becomes a matter of, why not?  If I like the boy, have a good sense of him and his needs, and they match up to what I am willing to provide on My timetable and in My way, I ask again, why not?
However, the other attitude which is far more prevalent, is being approached over and over, not with any interest in Myself as a person, but as someone who is pretty and slender, and I should want them to bend over so I can have a good time. <tongue very in cheek on that one!> The fact that they are having a good time also, is often left out of the equation.  It is as if the approach is "well, you like these things too, so let's get together for an hour or two and I will let you have  your way with me". 
In reality, My way with them would have little to do with the CBT and the bondage, and more to do with the ongoing need to be respectful and adoring along with the willingness to dedicate themselves to Me in all manner of life/lifestyle. 
I do insist, like others, on meeting and having a long talk, perhaps over dinner, before making a decision about whether or not to take someone on as a Pro Client.  And during that long conversation, I will bring up all aspects of this lifestyle, and determine, to the best of My ability, what makes this particular boy tick.  Usually he is traveling on business, has a vanilla wife and two or three kids at home, or is some sort of high-profile individual who needs to keep his unusual bent a deep dark secret.  He is definitely a fetishest of some sort, and has a paticular itch that needs to be scratched on occasion.  Not unlike you, StrapOnFreak, as evidenced by your hasty choice of a screen name. 
I then make a decision based upon My personal taste and their personal needs, as to whether or not I am willing to share My valuable time, when I know he is going to get back on a plane or go home to wifey.  There is little thought on the part of the client as to how I am going to feel. Trust Me when I tell you that I turn down much more than I ever accept as a client.  Yes, I can be friendly, but if I had a client, for instance, and we had been having a Professional relationship for some time or even one time, and then he suddenly decided he wanted to play for free, I would not refer him to a lifestyle friend.  I would refer him to My monthly munch.  Guess what?  90 times out of 100, he would not bother.  He is looking for an easy way to play without pay, when he can fit it into his schedule. 
You are 20 years old.  You are already using escorts.   I would have to ask you why a 20 year old boy needs an escort?  Then one of those escorts referred you to a Pro Domina since you had a need she could not or would not fulfill.  Now you want to know if a refusal to refer you is common practice among Pro-Dommes.  *Shrug*  Perhaps those particular Pro-Dommes.  She is most likely a friend of the escort, and does other sex work besides putting on a strap on, pulling some rope out of a bag or using CBT weights.  In other words, she is, possibly, just another "escort" who has more specialized talents.  So it would be logical to draw a conclusion that she may not have been aware at all of the local scene where boys can get *freebies*.   Or she might be vaguely aware, but why would she send you to that organization, when she has a new and possibly steady client?
You are making the common mistake so many boys make.  You joined this site (could it be that you learned of collarme through your research that you didn't bother with until you had paid the piper for a taste of your fantasy?) on October 13th. 8 days later you post a question that is a bit of a whine.  You have nothing filled out on your profile, you are 20 years old, and it is highly unlikely that you even realize what a submissive is or should present as to a lifestyle Domina.  You seem to be willing to submit in the bedroom, but you do not indicate any interest in other forms of service and dedication outside of being naked.  Well, we can get that with the snap of the fingers. 
So what makes you special, and what are you willing to do to learn and how much effort are you willing to put into finding the Domina of your dreams?  Just make sure your dreams include cleaning the toilet and washing the clothes.  This is not a vanilla thing with your weekly kink in the bedroom.  It is a lifestyle, and one that most boys only think they want, until they realize the full scope of having this sort of relationship. 
Either pay to get into the local dungeon and hope you hook up with someone for a night of fun, or pay a Pro, or spend your time learning just what "lifestyle" means and what it entails.  Then come back and talk to Me about what you think you can do to make a Domina's life easier.  Because it sure as hell is not having the opportunity to use My strap-on every Friday night.

Edited:  damn typo!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 10/23/2006 11:42:11 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 5:16:52 PM   
draba


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline 		My Mistress is a Pro who told me about this web site and others. She has collared me and does not want me looknig at others without her permission. But she does tell me about the local scene, both good and bad. She has invited me to parties to share with her friends. I think you found a bummer and need to look further.
Now I relize how lucky I really am.

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 5:23:51 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		Personally, if someone is looking for personal play, I send them out into the community. Why would I want to play with someone who didn't want to play with me? You can't pay me enough to do that. I've even put up ads looking for Dommes for some of my clients who want a romantic relationship with a Domme of their own.

That's just my take on it...


EDIT: I just read all the replies, and have to ammend this: Again, I'll refer people to local munches if they want a personal Domme because I don't want to waste my time, but it's true that it's not an obligation, and frankly, even if I didn't refer you, I wouldn't play with you again if you asked me that. It IS rude, just as Morrigel pointed out - twice. The boys I've helped have played with me for a while and eventually expressed that they felt a need for long-term, personal relationships with a Domme. They didn't just walk in and say, 'that was fun, now how do I do that for free. I'm young and I'm the shit, I should be able to get this for nothing.'



< Message edited by LadySeraphina -- 10/23/2006 5:38:24 PM >

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 7:23:15 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrapOnFreak
Is it just me or was this behaviour totally wrong and unethical?


She probably didn't know the answer and didn't want to sound uninformed.

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 7:53:57 PM   
StrapOnFreak


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		I said this in my first post and I'll say it again here more clearly, I turned down the sex with the escort. As in got offered it and point blank refused. Then she offered me a handjob and I refused that. I only hired the escort for what I would learn later was BDSM. I'm sure that if we had sex then she would never have referred me to a ProDomme. Apart from what I've talked about here I've never even been to a strip club. I have nothing against the idea of escorts though, as they give the disabled and older men who's partners have died something when they would otherwise have nothing, but for everyone else its wrong to pay someone for sex.

Even though I now know that virtually everyone who hires escorts has sex with them, even if they don't fit into the categories I talked about above (all that stuff about going to the opera is bull) and this girl was model material and did what was known as the Porn Star Experience. I still wouldn't change my decision, just because most people do something doesn't mean that it's right. I know that a lot of people won't believe the story, which is the reason why I prefer to meet people at munches and clubs, instead of waiting to get picked out of the thousands of guys online who are thinking with what's between their legs (no offence to the guys online that aren't).

When I asked the ProDomme about meeting more people like me, I wasn't just looking for someone to play with for free, I was looking for a whole community (which I've found) where I could find friends as well as partners, so I would at least feel good about being a freak, even if I can't change it.

Hope this clears a few things up ,

(in reply to Morrigel)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 8:24:16 PM   
MistressTheaZ


Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline 		I think many Ladies have already weighed in with what I am about to echo, but indeed, there is a point to the notion that a professional, (of any persuasion), needn't feel obligated to make a referral elsewhere or assist to find 'free' service. You did mention that you didn't care for your session or for her abilities, (did you say 'she sucked', or something to that effect?), which makes Me think that perhaps your request for information and guidance was likely not going to be met with much empathy.

The point has been made by those more eloquent than I, (thank you Pandora for pointing out what I didn't want to say about the NYC Scene), but do realize that there is often a separation between Lifestyle and Professional players. I personally consider Myself Lifestyle, but also play as a ProDomme, and the contrast is quite apparent between those who may know Me as one but not the other. There are many events that seem to attract one group more than the other, but unfortunately not many that cater well to both. It is entirely possible, and very likely, that this ProDomme may not be involved in the local 'scene' herself, or not aware of resources available for Lifestylers.

I do find it unusual that with your experimentation, (I presume you also researched hobbying boards as you seem to be rather well-informed as to your escort's abilities and reputation before booking), that you did not find ANY information about BDSM. Even perusing a site like Eros will bring up fetish and dominance listings while searching for your dream bodyrub girl or companion. Further to same, when one types in 'NYC' and 'BDSM' into, say, google, on the first page alone one can find: Paddles Club, Domsub Friends, TES, dungeon listings, and a NY Metro Shopping and Services Guide with links to Purple Passion, Commercial Dungeons, and Independent Dominas. In many adult stores, magazines like the Vault, DM, DDI, and so on are widely available...

Perhaps it's Me, but something seems out of place here; judging from all the Ladies who have already answered here, I'd think they've surmised similarly.

Best,

Thea

(in reply to StrapOnFreak)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is this behaviour common among ProDommes? - 10/23/2006 10:24:50 PM   
StrapOnFreak


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		TheaZ, I didn't do any research on the internet beforehand (I only found out about hobbyist sites and what a PSE was afterwards) I just went through the yellow pages, picked an ad and made a call. When you look at the sheer size of the vanilla sex industry, compared to the size of the professional domination scene, trying to find what I was looking for when you've never even heard of a Mistress is like looking for a needle in a haystack. I think lots of people in the scene don't really realize how much of a fringe thing BDSM is (It'd be hard to if it's a big thing in your life). Also I definitely didn't tell her that her abilities sucked or anything (that would be just plain rude and she was actually quite technically skilled at bondage) I kept my opinions to myself, she just didn't have the ability to put a lot of authority in her voice (remember back to school how some teachers never even needed to raise their voice and everyone obeyed them without them ever needing to hand out punishments, and others couldn't make people obey them no matter what?).

Well I seem to have found the answer to my question. ProDommes have replied and said that they would still try and direct a client to the nonpro scene, even if they don't think they have a moral obligation to. Their clients have also replied verifying this. And for all the ProDomme bashing on this forum, not one Sub has replied with a story like mine. All in it's reassuring that most serious pros don't seem to be like this.

Thanks,

(in reply to MistressTheaZ)
Profile   Post #: 40
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