quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

The thread has gotten very interesting, because we're talking about a problem that people face all the time: whether they or their partners can, should, or do change.

People can and do change, sometimes quite profoundly, but it's only when the change comes from within.  Sometimes you decide you don't like something about yourself and make a conscious decision to change it.  Sometimes you witness or experience something that shatters your preconceptions and your perception of the world changes as a result.  But you can't change SOMEONE ELSE.  People often walk into bad relationships thinking that they can change the things about the other person that they don't like.  It just doesn't happen, and you're liable to ruin an otherwise joyful relationship if you try.  Accept the other person for who he or she is, or else move on to someone else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers
As a Dominant and this can be Male or Female, if someone were to post something that you felt was totally inappropriate or one that was completely opposite of what he or she stated in a profile (such as I feel there should be tolerance in D/s yet the post completely slams someone else), would you take that post into consideration prior to making contact.  
    Submissives what are your thoughts, do you edit your posts to be a reflection of a current Dom or future Dom or doesn't it matter.
    

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I do tend to see things in black and white at times.  I think certain aspects of ones personality shouldn't be changed to suit someone.  I tend to be a bit sarcastic and find myself gravitating to others that appreciate and enjoy that.  To be with one that didn't would be a daily struggle for me.  For him to expect me to change something that is such a strong part of me would just never work.  We would never work. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers
  
   As a Dominant and this can be Male or Female, if someone were to post something that you felt was totally inappropriate or one that was completely opposite of what he or she stated in a profile (such as I feel there should be tolerance in D/s yet the post completely slams someone else), would you take that post into consideration prior to making contact. 
    

quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

    Reading through threads this morning, something I find enjoyment in; like reading a new book, I began to wonder about something.   I've always consider a submissive a reflection of her Dom.   So occasionally when reading through threads, a posting will stand out and normally, I will glance at the profile.
   At times I will read a post and look at a profile and think, what a great reflection she is, her Dom must be proud or she is going to make a good reflection on a future Dom.   Sometimes, I will read what I consider an outlandish post;  and I really don't want to point fingers but one perhaps that contradicts her profile or one that makes me think, "she REALLY didn't post that?".   I realize that everyone has a bad day and no one is going to be in the right frame of mind all the time so at times one of those post will just happen to pop out, but what I am wondering is this:   
   As a Dominant and this can be Male or Female, if someone were to post something that you felt was totally inappropriate or one that was completely opposite of what he or she stated in a profile (such as I feel there should be tolerance in D/s yet the post completely slams someone else), would you take that post into consideration prior to making contact.  
    Submissives what are your thoughts, do you edit your posts to be a reflection of a current Dom or future Dom or doesn't it matter.
    

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

But I think that folks will pair up with others who hold similar views so they naturally reflect upon each other without even trying and they'll likely agree with just about anything the other says.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

The thread has gotten very interesting, because we're talking about a problem that people face all the time: whether they or their partners can, should, or do change.

People can and do change, sometimes quite profoundly, but it's only when the change comes from within.  Sometimes you decide you don't like something about yourself and make a conscious decision to change it.  Sometimes you witness or experience something that shatters your preconceptions and your perception of the world changes as a result.  But you can't change SOMEONE ELSE.  People often walk into bad relationships thinking that they can change the things about the other person that they don't like.  It just doesn't happen, and you're liable to ruin an otherwise joyful relationship if you try.  Accept the other person for who he or she is, or else move on to someone else.

Thank you.  You actually said what I've been attempting to say....just have been unable to get the words out of my brain.

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

But I think that folks will pair up with others who hold similar views so they naturally reflect upon each other without even trying and they'll likely agree with just about anything the other says.

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Over all.. I really enjoyed this thread... some great points coming out with regards to this romantic thought of "Reflection of your One".  I am hoping people are seeing that it is much greater than that simple and even narrow thought. 

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I handle myself when he isnt around - therefore i reflect upon myself.  For me, it is possibly the most retarded thing to act according to his wishes when he isnt around.  Yet when he is around, he controls things and i handle myself according to his wishes.