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Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 11:23:24 AM   
bacchas


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I have a fetish of which I am ashamed. I realize intellectually that it's fairly common, and that it's really not that unusual. One of my friends was going to throw a workshop for this fetish. While I realize I should be excited, I instead began to show physical signs of distress when I heard about it. How does one come to grips with a situation like this?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 1:17:15 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Here is the bad news............

You are a freak, a perverted son-of-a-bitch.  You are so alone in the world.

Here is the good news.

Everybody is a freak, a perverted son-of-a-bitch.  We are all so alone in the world.

Your best news is:

You are young, and you will get over it.

Acknowledge your hinkiness, and go to the demo anyhow.  For some, the hardest thing about being freaky is to admit that it is as normal as apple pie.........
get it over with, and you  will find your fullfilment and realize that  whatever lewd and disgusting thing you think you got for a kink on you.........it don't even rate as vanilla with some of us.

I yam what I yam.   C'mon MAN!!!! even popeye says that!!!!!  It ain't like I am asking you to eat spinach or anything.........

This is something you can handle.

Quit thinking............DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laugh, fly in the face of reason, my friend,

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 1:23:12 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Either you realize that you're going to be around "sickos like you" and deal with it or you don't. Seems like the opportunity to learn something and be around others with your inclinations would be a good thing. If it's not then maybe you're worried that the fantasy you hide in your head isn't going to be as much fun in the real world.

In the words of one of my former boys, "having a woman in heels boss you around and punish you with a crop sounds like a great idea until that thing actually cracks you in the arse...then you realize you have a serious decision to make".



_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 4:55:20 PM   
sintralgasub


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Attending the workshop may help you overcome any feelings of shame by giving you an opportunity to discuss your fetish with others who are also interested in it.


(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 5:00:05 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		And very likely every bit as hinkey about the kinkey as he is, so a wonderful and total 'come to jesus' is likely in the offing at the end of the demo...........

Oh, the wailing and gnashing of teeth, at that convocation  (just thinking of it is giving me a woodie)

but FYI buddy, If I were gonna be embarrassed it would have to do with Bacchus; know whadda mean, Vern?

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to sintralgasub)
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RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 5:53:10 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		I hate when people dont give the good details... Im a curiouse one and now I want to know what the fetish is :P

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 6:30:35 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Action is one important thing to do. However, another thing is to start looking into yourself and figure out WHY you're ashamed.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 8:38:16 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Go to the workshop. Embrace your fetish. See how many people have the same one. Hopefully comfort with numbers.

If it is quite serious you can try a psychological treatment and desensualize it by overwhelming yourself with the fetish by spending a lot of time on the Interent reading about it and seeing just how many people in the world have it as well. That might help.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 8:50:53 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I hate when people dont give the good details... Im a curiouse one and now I want to know what the fetish is :P

Magik's slave


I agree,,,,,,,,,,,Inquiring minds want to know ~~~~ what is this fetish of yours,  can you give us a clue or two??

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 8:54:13 PM   
SwPuno


Posts: 72
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline 		While Ron's advice sounds simple and straightforward I can say from experience that it is not that simple, at least for some.  I too am kinky and also have a fetish or two and while I'm fairly comfortable about the D/s kink part, even though I'm sometimes the submissive, I still struggle with the the fetish part (well, at least one of them) as I too am still somewhat embarrassed about it (though that can be fun in the right situation as well). 

I would agree that going to the demo is more likely to help than cause more problems.  If you are really stressed you can just go and say you had heard about the fetish and wanted to learn more to understand what it is, without actually fessing up that you are into it.  And my guess is that it will go better than that and you'll find others who are into it and that will make you feel better.  You may even find you are not as into it as others.

If you truly don't think you are ready for that (and remember this opportunity may not come around again for a while) then I would take the suggestion of doing the internet research.  One of the great things about the net is how it lets you know that you are not alone with certain desires on this planet and there are others who are into the same thing as you.

Good luck, and I hope you go, have fun, and maybe even meet someone to indulge your fetish with.



(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 9:16:25 PM   
freakgoddess


Posts: 48
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bacchas

I have a fetish of which I am ashamed. I realize intellectually that it's fairly common, and that it's really not that unusual. One of my friends was going to throw a workshop for this fetish. While I realize I should be excited, I instead began to show physical signs of distress when I heard about it. How does one come to grips with a situation like this?

that's too bad.  perhaps because of your shame you will fail to connect with a domme who could make all your dreams come true.  nothing ventured, nothing gained.

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Fetish coping - 10/22/2006 10:05:38 PM   
LASub4Real


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Wait a minute! Are you a Catholic Priest?!!

(in reply to freakgoddess)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Fetish coping - 10/23/2006 9:27:48 PM   
bacchas


Posts: 21
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LASub4Real

Wait a minute! Are you a Catholic Priest?!!


Busted! lol. That'd be a weird demo.

Ok, so I'm going to try to force myself to go to the workshop. The fortunate part is, is that the host is sort of a mentor to me. The thing is I'm fine with my other ones: fem dom, bondage (everything is better with bondage), latex, costumes, but for whatever reason I'm hung up on this one. 

Hint (no public guesses please this is hard enough already): pants don't always work.

(in reply to LASub4Real)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Fetish coping - 10/23/2006 10:20:47 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I am not guessing but I wanted to add there are many in this kinky world, there are many who you dont even know are into kinky things.  You would be amazed how many very butch men have less than butch undergarments,  how many suburban housewives have piercings of interesting natures and in very unusual spots.

Cross dressing is very popular, on both sides of the gender. 

I would doubt your kink is something there is not already a group who envelopes in and loves to either have it done to them or do it to others.

You have nothing to be ashamed about, so long as you are not hurting another person non consensually of course.  And I think life is too short one never knows when the mack truck with our name on it is veering down the road at us.  So jump in with both feet, and have a blast.  If it rocks your boat why hold yourself back????

Let us know how things go

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Fetish coping - 10/24/2006 8:01:46 PM   
sailorthor


Posts: 53
Status: offline 		I'm a total prude.  I know it.  I've even shown it at the few public/semipublic/private party deals I've been to.  And believe me, it took a while to be comfortable even looking in the area for local folks to chat with, or with whom to get together.  But, it was a great experience.  I feel much more accepting of self, and much more comfortable chatting about what I desire of my women or subs.

But people can tell you this all day long, and, until you go do it yourself, it really won't help you.

Enjoy Life,
SailorThor


_____________________________

We are only immortal for a limited time - Rush, Roll the Bones

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Fetish coping - 10/24/2006 8:27:26 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Whatever your fetsih is there is always someone else who has it also. Find others with the same fetish and talk to them. You will find out you don't have to be ashamed.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Fetish coping - 10/24/2006 8:51:23 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bacchas

I have a fetish of which I am ashamed. I realize intellectually that it's fairly common, and that it's really not that unusual. One of my friends was going to throw a workshop for this fetish. While I realize I should be excited, I instead began to show physical signs of distress when I heard about it. How does one come to grips with a situation like this?


Ask yourself.. what are the benefits to indulging in education and finding out about my fetish.. and what are the potential risks for doing the same thing? If the benefits outweigh the risk, then you should try to come to terms with your fetish and accept it as part of your desires/kink what have you. "Learning" about the desire is not engaging in it.. and once you 'learn' about it, you may find that engaging in it isn't so bad.

Will there be some people who will look at your particular fetish as sick, weird or just plain wrong? Yes, of course. It's up to you to determine how much weight to give those opinions. You can choose to give it zero weight or you can choose to give it all the weight in the world.. but as soon as you do that, you are allowing someone else to determine the course of your life and lifestyle.

'An it harm none, do what you will.

I wish you peace and serenity in coming to your decision .. which, ultimately, effects you and no one else.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to bacchas)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Fetish coping - 10/24/2006 8:55:45 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I wonder if it's the "kazoo in the ass" one where they have to  buzz out the national anthem...

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Fetish coping - 10/25/2006 8:09:18 AM   
diaperedbaby


Posts: 158
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline 		I am into the AB scene which is hardly a fetish of the masses. But I found as I got older, I enjoy it more and don't really look at it as if I am coping with something.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Fetish coping - 10/25/2006 6:36:40 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		You don't have to "own" the fetish to go and listen.  i know it's a chicken shit way out, but you can certainly go and pass it off as "educating yourself on others kinks"   i would go listen in on scat chat, although i have a negative 40 feeling about it, but only because i have a friend who admits he's into it, and he feels nobody understands or wants to understand his fetish.  <ergh>  i watch needle demos although i'll probably not engage in doing it, but i liek knowing or at least trying to understand what people do. 

You might also consider what momma used to say...

"your embarrasment is nothing more than pride, you're assuming others honestly care enough about what you do to be paying attention."  Hard words, but so often true.

(in reply to diaperedbaby)
Profile   Post #: 20
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