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I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/23/2006 8:41:06 AM

Paradoxy

Posts: 51
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline

I’m new to the official “scene” if you will, but I’ve done some reading here and there.

I still have no idea which I am, but it looks like I’m leaning heavily into Dom. I really need some good pointers on what is or is not acceptable (I know about safe-words…I’m very careful) to do to your submissive.

I know to some extent it is up to them, however, I have ran into some who are comfortable with anything it seems (pseudo-rape).

So…how do I know if I’m Dom/Sub and what would be some really good jumping off advice?

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RE: I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/23/2006 6:21:11 PM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

Welcome to the forum Paradoxy.. Im strictly Dominant so I go with what I feel from within .. however there are those here who could give you more advice.. LA send her some links! lol

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RE: I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/23/2006 6:29:54 PM

Paradoxy

Posts: 51
Joined: 10/23/2006
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Well, one question I had was...

Is there any sure-fire way of a negative result in the Dom/Sub relationship...common mistakes?

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)

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RE: I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/23/2006 7:52:22 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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Welcome to CM!!

As to your question on negative results, remember you and all of us are only human. Everybody makes mistakes. It's if/how you learn from them that makes the difference.

BTW what have you read so far? I can recommend several non fiction books that should help you.

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RE: I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/23/2006 7:56:07 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

As long as you admit that you're only human, even if you are playing as a Dom (I say 'playing as' until you are sure what is right for you) and keep the lines of communication open, you will be okay.

Check out the forums here, and also try reading 'Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns' by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. I found it to be the best opener, but I'm sure others will have many recommendations.

Edited to add: I also had "I am Jack's ___" in my head for a while after I read Fight Club. Chuck has a way of doing that to you, doesn't he?

< Message edited by LadySeraphina -- 10/23/2006 7:57:05 PM >

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"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

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RE: I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/23/2006 7:58:14 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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I guess I'm the only person who's wondering this, so I may as well ask...

Who is Jack?

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RE: I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/23/2006 8:50:31 PM

Paradoxy

Posts: 51
Joined: 10/23/2006
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The "I am Jack's (x)" was from Fight Club. Watch the movie then read the book. It's better that way since Chuck P. doesn't give any visuals for any of his characters and its easier to see Bratt Pit and Edward Norton in your mind.

Plus E.N. kicks ass in general.

As far as literature I've read:

Just online stuff, and that was some time ago. It was mostly about which parts of the body to strike that won't harm vital organs. You know...the stuff you need to know.

I'll be sure to read that post, btw...thanks for the current advice. If anyone wants my direct IM contacts go ahead and hunt down my profile on the main site and send me an email. I'll be sure to add you on my friend's list.

PS...hubba hubba LadySeraphina

< Message edited by Paradoxy -- 10/23/2006 8:51:43 PM >

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RE: I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/23/2006 10:09:17 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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A few books you might try are: The Loving Dominant, The Topping Book, SM 101, Consensual Sadomasochism and Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns was also mentioned. There are many non fiction books to check out. These are just a very few.

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Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: I am Jack's Newcomer - 10/24/2006 2:21:32 AM

Merideath

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Long Island
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I highly recommend "The Loving Dominant." I found it to be very inspiring. As a matter of fact, I have it sitting next to me right now! Funny that it should be brought up.

Welcome.