Question:Attention Span (Full Version)

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sub4hire -> Question:Attention Span (1/22/2004 11:19:10 AM)

Hello Everyone,
I've been on this site for a little while now. I have to say I like the discussion boards the most. It seems to be the only place where people want to seriously discuss the lifestyle.
I have a lot of years behind me in the scene. Real years too. For the most part I have zero net years. I have had 2 dominants. One for a ten year span. He was military..transferred and I did'nt wish to go. I asked for release. Another I've spent the past 5 years with. Before finding him when Domless I went to the net in search of my perfect Dom.
Anyway I'm rambling now. I'm always in search to learn new things. Hear other peoples outlooks on what the lifestyle is to them.

Yesterday I was in th chat room. There was a Dominant there asking why people don't respond to e-mails. Why not the courtesy of saying I'm not interested.
Come to find out the he was referring to someone who was in the room at the time. She at least did reply to him there. She said his e-mail was too long for her to read through. She did'nt have attention span enough to make it through. Hence no reply.
If you don't have an atttention span how do you manage to survive with a Dom or a sub?
Can you ever carry out a task in your entire lifetime? Would'nt you be into trouble all of the time?
I'm just curious to this because I do run into a lot of newbies each and everyday. They seek me as their mentor. Some you can manage to get through to and some you don't. Is this like an epidemic? Has anyone noticed its attention span? Is that why there is so much reckless behavior amoung newbies?
Just my thoughts...I don't mean to offend anyone.

Gloria




SirChameleon -> RE: Question:Attention Span (1/22/2004 1:12:28 PM)

yes i really think that you are ..... ( pause ) .. errr umm where was I? Dang lost my train of thought going to reread again .. WINK

Sir Chameleon




Estring -> RE: Question:Attention Span (1/22/2004 2:48:59 PM)

I think you hit it on the head sub. The attention span, especially of younger people is much shorter than ever (with exceptions obviously). Blame TV, the Internet, etc.
That is why newspapers and magazines are having to change their appearance and dumb themselves down. Fewer people want to take the time to read through a whole newspaper. God forbid! They just watch a few minutes on TV for their news. It is no surprise that this would began to show up even in the D/s world. I mean come on, have you seen the spelling on this site? Not to mention the lack of the ability to even express an idea coherently. This letter is probably a novel to many people. So many words! Lol.




MizSuz -> RE: Question:Attention Span (1/22/2004 4:59:48 PM)

Yes, I have seen a LOT of short attention spans. I've come to think of it as a side benefit. It's an assistance in the culling process. I figure anyone that can't maintain enough focus to get through a rather descriptive text webpage (to discover the proper way to approach me at the end of the webpage) is probably not someone I will want to remain engaged with for any length of time.

As for not responding to inquiries, I often do not respond. There are a plethora of reasons why not to answer someone, whether they write a short note or a lengthy dissertation. I posted an example of the sort of 'lengthy' emails that generally either get no response or a rather short response in a thread called something along the lines of "Your thoughts please sirs" or some such. It was a lengthy email that deserved no response at all.

I'd bet that attention span wasn't the only reason that particular submissive did not respond, and the other reasons could be any assortment of things, none of which she may have wished to discuss in an open forum. <shrug> but who knows?




DaddisGrl -> RE: Question:Attention Span (1/22/2004 5:06:06 PM)

I find the problem of short attention spans can be attributed to both Doms and subs. Ive often recieved emails from "Doms" who obviously have either read only part of my profile, or not read it at all. I usually send a response, but it does become very tiring.




trnmastr -> RE: Question:Attention Span (1/23/2004 10:37:17 AM)

quote:

Some you can manage to get through to and some you don't. Is this like an epidemic? Has anyone noticed its attention span? Is that why there is so much reckless behavior amoung newbies?


Its not an attention span problem, its a wanting to be serious problem.
Too many newbies are really looking for a quick hot email exchange or chat. They arent really interested in learning about the life or joining it.
Plus they are just lazy.
Its interesting I read all these profiles looking for a LTR live in position, have written to many and have received no responses.
So I tried two approaches, I sent short to the point emails, and long very detailed emails. Didnt matter. The one thing that is missing in my emails is talking about play and sex. Hmmmmmmm maybe I need to include that too, LOL
But if there is someone who truely has an attention issue, then repetitive behavior makes it natural for them and they can be trained.

William




Wolfspet -> RE: Question:Attention Span (1/24/2004 7:03:26 AM)

Society as a whole has becomed conditioned to expect instant gratification. Wether it be food, drink or relationships.

But on the flip side, I do not hold too much faith in lengthly e-mails either. They give ample time to wax prosaic, insightful, and intellectual thoughts. My sarcastic tendency is that 40% of those who "sound" that way, are sitting in front of a computer with a thesaurus & referencing other works..

Unlike me who types completly incoherent drivel..




ScottGriggs -> RE: Question:Attention Span (2/6/2004 11:29:24 AM)

I do like the idea that the short attention span be a Culling process. With an increased amount of people demanding a quick gratification, and another group of people who are still demanding a fullfilling experiance, it seems only logical to put up barriers to seperate the two cultures.

Although I disapprove of the idea of elitism and isolationists, meaning i do wish I could help the meek, in any way that I could... I still feel a desire for fulfilling my own likes and dislikes - and I don't put up with simple responses for very long.

Also I love those indepth responses that get at the heart of what someone is talking about. I find it almost impossible to truely tell what I mean without going into page after page of reflections and afterthoughts. I'll spare the pages on forums though :p because it does get hard to read!!!




wildpony -> RE: Question:Attention Span (2/6/2004 6:15:06 PM)

i met my perfect Dom on collarme. once i did, He told me not to respond to any other men. i felt like i was being impolite but i couldn't disobey him.




EStrict -> RE: Question:Attention Span (2/6/2004 7:29:44 PM)

Are you still together? And if so, does he allow you to speak to other dominants now? I have to admit I am glad Master was never like that to me. It almost comes off as insecurity. We DID meet online, and he knows that I chat with many, mostly men, mostly dominants. If he didn't allow this it would make me wonder if didn't trust me. And since trust is very important in our relationship, it would be something I would have trouble with understanding,,,

Sandy




inyouagain -> RE: Question:Attention Span (2/6/2004 7:43:51 PM)

Thank you wildpony, you brought out another dimension.

Many times a sub will create a profile and leave it blank. This is common among owned/collared subs who do not seek advances from other Dom/me's.

It seems that a blank profile offers little info to a seeking Dom/me, and unless they are desperate... no need to send a long lengthy form letter of promises of torture and pain at their skilled hands.

There's more in this 'unofficial protocol' of many blank sub profiles than simply ignoring a pospective Dom/me's advance(s).

The Dom/me can see their message was read, so if they receive no reply, why pursue the issue in chat? (unless really desperate?)

If your message is not read, that's a clue.
If your message was read and not replied to, another clue.
If your message recipient does not address you in chat, yet another clue!

How many clues does it take?

Rationale for lack of response is/can be varied in scope... not simply what one perceives to be impoliteness towards them. Varying from one extreme to the other... from not interested cuz I'm owned, to being blown off... so deal with it, everybody else does!

It's always nice to get a reply saying not interested, but nobody guaranteed you will.




ShadowHwk -> RE: Question:Attention Span (2/8/2004 8:00:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wildpony

i met my perfect Dom on collarme. once i did, He told me not to respond to any other men. i felt like i was being impolite but i couldn't disobey him.


This brings up an interesting point. My slave, whom I met here, was receiving 100+ emails a day and driving herself a bit nuts trying to be polite and respond to them all. Most of the emails she received were from men who had not even bothered to read her profile, they had simply looked at her picture.

After a few days of this, enough was enough. The picture was taken down and her profile amended to state that she was not looking, had found the one she was looking for, etc.... Did this work? Nope, did she continue to get bombarded with emails telling her she should not belong to me, but to them? Yep. So in the end the solution was for her to delete her profile and create a new one, under a different name here on CollarMe. She has standing orders to forward to me any email from anyone who has ignored her profile and things she should be with them instead of me. That way I can reply, and explain the situation more clearly. You know, not one of those to whom I have replied has had the courage to write me back – imagine that! Why should this be necessary?

It is necessary because so many on here are without a scrap of honor. So many on here aren’t really “into” this except as a possible hook to get laid. I abhor those who attempt to prey on those who belong to others. I hold those that attempt to poach in the deepest contempt.

You are not a Dom/me, Master, or Mistress if you attempt to steal a sub/slave from another, in fact, you show yourself to be completely without honor, not worthy of being served.

In chat my slave can talk openly with anyone SHE chooses. But to avoid the same bullshit behavior she does not accept private messages without my permission. This saves a lot of time and aggravation.


Peace and Light
ShadowHwk




feline -> RE: Question:Attention Span (3/2/2004 9:31:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire



Yesterday I was in th chat room. There was a Dominant there asking why people don't respond to e-mails. Why not the courtesy of saying I'm not interested.
Come to find out the he was referring to someone who was in the room at the time. She at least did reply to him there. She said his e-mail was too long for her to read through. She did'nt have attention span enough to make it through. Hence no reply.
If you don't have an atttention span how do you manage to survive with a Dom or a sub?
Can you ever carry out a task in your entire lifetime? Would'nt you be into trouble all of the time?
I'm just curious to this because I do run into a lot of newbies each and everyday. They seek me as their mentor. Some you can manage to get through to and some you don't. Is this like an epidemic? Has anyone noticed its attention span? Is that why there is so much reckless behavior amoung newbies?
Just my thoughts...I don't mean to offend anyone.

Gloria



Ok i feel the need to respond to this post because of the simple fact that i have ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder. And at this time i'm taking medication for it.

First of all, i inform all Doms of my situation and offer a web site that might better help them understand.

Second, yes i have carried out many tasks. Some better then others. If a Dom understands my situation he knows what i can, and just simply, can't do. Which isn't much.

Third, getting in trouble. lol Well seriously, i don't think i get into trouble because of this. If i get into trouble i take full responsibility and don't blame my ADD. Because it is rarely the cause.

i don't feel my ADD makes me any less worthy or valuable then the next sub. As for the "newbies" IMHO a lot of their problem is instant gratification. It's not that they don't have the attention span, it's that they don't want to take the time. And as far as i'm concerned, not giving a reply to his email was simply rude.




philurdesires -> RE: Question:Attention Span (3/2/2004 4:29:28 PM)

quote:

prosaic


Wolfspet - that's a great response - what's a "prosaic" anyway - do you mean like a condom? - lmao - Seriously, there are a lot of people like those you describe, young and older. But, if they "get off" being a pseudo intellectual or trying to be something they're not, they will be found out soon enough, and the cycle begins (avoided, name change, found out - avoided, name change, etc).
The really sad thing about the "quickies" that so many people are looking for is that they are depriving themselves of such a wonderful part of the lifestyle, the learning, the devotion, the nonsexual intimacy. I was telling a friend about kneeling before a Mistress for as long as 10 minutes without a word being spoken; I loved it, I loved being with her, smelling her fragrance and I felt so lucky just being in her presence. When we were on line, just knowing that she was at the keyboard made me feel good. That kind of affectionate relationship and related excitement will never develop from quickies, and the ones that insist on the "slam bam" approach will never know the contentment of being owned, or perhaps owning another.




Madame -> RE: Question:Attention Span (3/11/2004 4:00:27 PM)

Or it could just be he was another one of those people that didn't know how to write cohesively enough to keep someone's attention.. you know the kind .. a word count of 450 without a single paragraph.


As to answering e mail .. I don't think anyone should feel obligated to answer an unsolicited e mail. If a boy can't write above a 3rd grade level, what ever would I want him for? I know I don't bother with the ones that haven't the skills to string enough words together to even call it a letter.

Yours Truly,

Madame
Queen of the House of Hibbs

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)




sweetieboop -> RE: Question:Attention Span (3/12/2004 11:57:40 AM)

I have a disease which causes me mostly cognitive problems now. My short term memory is effected and my ability to retain things is not good. However, I find that if there is something that really interests me (the love of my Master) I'll go the extra mile. For instance, I know that when you are getting to know someone, it takes a while to become familiar with who they are and what they are looking for. I was writing to someone and EVERY letter he sent me was a novel. It got to the point where I didn't want to respond anymore because it was more like a chore to me than a pleasure. However, I believe that if I really was interested in him, I would be happy to receive long letters from him and even happier to respond. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe it's not laziness, but instead lack of interest? Just a thought. :)




iwillserveu -> RE: Question:Attention Span (3/13/2004 12:30:18 PM)

Feline,

(Joke: The Doctor diagnosed me with ADD or ADHD. It could be either. I wasn't paying attention.)

Gloria,
Women (either Dom, sub, switch, or "other") should not feel compelled to respond, because of the bulk of e-mails they get. If anyone is responding to idiots out of a sense of being polite, you can only offend idiots.

If you get only one e-mail a month, however, what is your excuse? [:)] (Mine is I'm tired of writing, "I'm a guy, you idiot." [:)])

What caused the short attention span? I blame MTV. (First we have a guy talking to psychiatrist then he's playing guitar then he's grocery shopping then some other guy is playing drums, etc.)




Suleiman -> RE: Question:Attention Span (2/6/2005 1:59:00 PM)

Hi Gloria.

Yes, I have indeed noticed this one. Being the incredibly verbose individual that I am, I find that there are a great many who can not effectively wend their way through my missives and actually retain the gist of what I had been saying. For the most part I try to take the occasional criticism in good grace (rather than muttering to myself about how actual literacy, not to mention manners, has gone down the toilet in the last thirty years).

For the most part, I simply consider this part of the screening process. It's another level of compatability, and a very important one, since it involves communication. Some people can not deal with large blocks of text, others can't stand short fragmentary sentences rife with shorthand phrasing and mangled grammar.

I have noticed that some people write long messages in a form that I have difficulty comprehending. This is especially true for those who have a unique understanding of the ellipse and how it is used in the english language. Long run-on sentences, a page-long block of text that should be broken up into multiple paragraphs but isn't, poor spelling, even a bad choice of font can make it difficult for me to read a message.

Short attention span is a growing problem in the US, and to a lesser extent abroad. I take the hysteria with a grain of salt, since the fear-mongers that work for CNN have made much to-do of the rise in ADD in the American population. I do believe that we have, as a society, begun to train children form an early age to take information in concentrated packets, increasing the amount of data but reducing the amount of time taken to communicate it. Unfortunately, this really tends to make us more isolated, since there are limits to the speed at which human beings are able to speak. Our inability to communicate with strangers leads us to seek interaction elsewhere, typically gaining an ersatz glow of community from the television, computer, or at this point by way of text messaging (which has gone on to increase the trend towards disassembling the language, due to the inconvenience of using a telephone number pad, combined with the expense of paying for bandwidth).

I don't know if this tendency has led to a greater number of newbies acting recklessly. Honestly, I don't think that it would. Newbies are reckless. I was reckless when I just entered the community, and so was almost everybody I know. The "auntie" who mentored me laughed at my mistakes and told me about similar bone-headed stunts she pulled off when she joined the community. Recklessness is just part of the game.

Honestly, aliteracy is also pretty normal. It is only in recent years that we have been in a situation where the majority of the population has been required to read. Most human beings really don't care about the written word, and the fact that those who have no interest in reading are required to do so any way, or else be cursed with the most menial of jobs for the rest of their lives, makes literacy an onus from which they desire only escape. That the aliterate have begun to become abliterate is not so surprising, at least to me, once that fact is taken into account.

Of course, what the aliterate are doing on the internet is beyond me. They should be outside, socializing, and being with other people. I used to dream about being able to access any library in the world. Instead I have to deal with a million pieces of abliterate spam offering me nasty ass coochie and ways to enlarge my penis that any rational being knows for a fact don't work. I have to deal with web pages so graphics-heavy it takes my poor little analog modem fifteen minutes to finish loading the page, and everywhere I turn some aliterate twit is either taking offense because I disagree with them, or else chastizing me for writing posts that are too long, or using words that they don't understand. [:@] Grrr.

But no, I can't really say that it's an epidemic. It's just the universe establishing a new equilibrium. I think it's going to take a few more generations before our society really stabilizes, and until then, there's going to be a lot of boat rocking while we adjust to the ever-changing newness of now.




perverseangelic -> RE: Question:Attention Span (2/6/2005 2:30:27 PM)

As much as I hate to say it, my generation's attention span IS shorter than those before us. I -do- blame TV.

I have found that those of us who were raised without tv, or with very little tv generally have a much longer attention span, and are able to focus more dirrectly. This is an informal study of course, but it's saddened me none the less.

I get told -often- my profile is too long for anyone to actually read. I always thought a long profile is better as it more clearly states who you are and what you're about, to avoid misunderstandings.

Sure, I skim things that are too long AND don't interest me, but if it's something I want/am interested in/am looking for I LIKE verbosity.




LordODiscipline -> RE: Question:Attention Span (2/6/2005 4:22:40 PM)

I think people are really short as well - and, well - it is really something that irritates me very much... and, speaking of irritation, I have this rash that seems to go on for ever..
Not to mention the fact that the cream is really oily and makes me 'skeeve' when it is applied. But, for the most part I suppose it is working. And, when at work, I find that the very nature of the work tends to make the oilyness increase a great deal... but, with the price of oil fluctuating so greatly, it is probably a good thing..

Um.. and..
What were we talking about?

~J




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