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A change - 1/28/2005 5:33:55 AM

submom2

Posts: 62
Status: offline

Have you ever started out in one role within the lifestyle and changed? I started out with submissive desires. Yet, after experiencing more and more, I've found that I couldn't hold that down full time. I've been a single mom for so many years. Giving up control on a full time basis, is unreal to me. I've always been in control of myself and two rug rats. I hate to admit it, but I've really been thinking lately. When it comes to the "lifestyle", I don't think I'm up to living it all the time. Now, where exactly does that leave me? I don't want only play sessions. I'm thinking, I want more a D/s in a sexual sense. Then, a regular relationship otherwise. Not to mention, there are other interests I have "on the other side" of the D/s coin. I've considered switching. Maybe, I just needed to experience more in reality to grasp where I stand.

All opinions and suggestions are welcome. Thanks in advance.

< Message edited by submom2 -- 1/28/2005 5:36:17 AM >

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RE: A change - 1/28/2005 5:51:35 AM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

Hi Myra: I know how you feel. I was a single mom myself before I recently got married again. In the nilla world I am very independent. I have a full career. I had the same worries. My relationship gives me exactly what I want, an equal partnership for the most part with some domination by him thrown in. For instance, he does the bills and I am to stick with the budget we agreed on. I do have some spending money. So, I have submitted to him financially. I prefer it this way because I am terrible with money!! Regarding child-rearing, however, could be a problem if you don't work out a plan ahead of time. In my case I am still in control of my daughter but he has a say because he is better at discipline than I am. He helps a lot and I have less of the "defensive mommy" thing going on. As far as the bedroom goes we can be total D/s in our own space and we are happy with that. As a submissive you have the possibility of living how you want. If you do not want to give him the checkbook, don't. You will find other ways to submit.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to submom2)

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RE: A change - 1/28/2005 9:23:48 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I've never felt I'm on the wrong side of the fence as far as Doug is concerned. We have a very happy home life that works for us. Total obedience.
Yet, If I look at the lifestyle from your perspective I do believe I would have the same thoughts.
Kids, alone, having to make any and all decisions for them. Then someone walks into my life. A total stranger to me and my kids. Expects to lay down the rules. I don't know if I could go with that. It is hard enough in a regular relationship for a new partner to come in with kids. Let alone a very Dominant partner.

Plus, you also have to be on your guard. The alledged Dominant might want you for your kids. It has happened out here. It happens all over the US. So, I think your feelings are founded in reality.

How about something like. My kids and I have our life together. Where we don't exactly want to keep you out. It will take time to ease you in. So, where my kids are concerned I will remain in control? Which would also mean, if in sene and your child needs you, you go.

Or a variation of somewhat the same.

(in reply to submom2)

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