When the past just won't stay dead

When the past just won't stay dead (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 1:40:34 PM)
I got a 14 page letter from my ex Master today. All of the memories that I assumed he had forgotten....laid right out in black and white. The clarity of his memory astounds me. He says I am his first thought when he wakes and the last thought before he sleeps. He wants me to know that he understands the pain he caused and takes the full responsibility for it.....and that he still loves me as much today as ever. He knows that he has no chance of ever being in my life on that level again.....and he wishes only the best for me in wherever life takes me. Well gosh....it's funny how after so long we both think so often of the other. The memories come despite all of my efforts to keep them away. And now, here today it is....right in my face. Who says life doesn't have a rewind? It surely does.....now if only it had a "redo".

Hisslavedesires -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 1:43:43 PM)
I was once told that forgveness means setting somone free from debtors prison. Why can't there be a redo if truly forgiven?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 1:45:45 PM)
Just because you forgive doesn't mean it's the right thing to restart. You can love someone and not be right for them in a relationship.

Siona -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 1:52:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Just because you forgive doesn't mean it's the right thing to restart. You can love someone and not be right for them in a relationship. Amen

farglebargle -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 1:56:05 PM)
When the past just won't stay dead... You didn't bury it deep enough.

toservez -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 1:56:57 PM)
The cliche forgive but do not forget always applies. Cherish your pleasent memories as they are part of what makes you you just as much and hopefully a lot more then the bad stuff is as well, but let niether cloud your judgement going forward. For me it was a sign that I was ready to look again when my memories of all the good times and things started to dominate my bad ones.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 2:03:54 PM)
That must be so hard, erin. hugs You already know all the usual answers. You've been reading/writing here for long enough. :-) Master Fire

ExSteelAgain -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 2:07:48 PM)
We learn from the past and have experiences that are always part of us, but all of this can be leading to the present, ultimate knowledge, that surpasses by building on everything that has come before. We can put our past energies into our greater, current relationship. Easy enough for me.

ToGiveDivine -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 2:09:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: toservez The cliche forgive but do not forget always applies. Cherish your pleasent memories as they are part of what makes you you just as much and hopefully a lot more then the bad stuff is as well, but let niether cloud your judgement going forward. For me it was a sign that I was ready to look again when my memories of all the good times and things started to dominate my bad ones. I did something stupid to a friend, they didn't speak to me for 3 years then called me one day and asked to meet - they had been afraid for over 2 years that I hated them because they told me to take a long walk on a short pier. We are friends again and they have forgiven me, but they also wants to forget what happened - but I tell her I'm glad they have forgiven me, but I don't want them to forget. I made a mistake, I apologized, they forgave - I think if the friendship will last, then they can't forget what I said to them - it is part of who we are and what we will be. It just seems dishonest to pretend nothing ever happened, that I never said some truly awful things, even if it was a bad time (right after 9/11 and our company downsized) and both of us were messed up because of it. I feel fortunate that they've accepted me back, but it won't be the same - even with good memories, time changes all.

proudsub -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 2:15:20 PM)
I think forgiveness goes a long ways. Hubby forgave me for my affair three years ago and said He would never mention it again. Things have been great between us the last 3 years. I know not everyone agrees with this but i don't want this to turn into another cheating thread.

LotusSong -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 2:17:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine It just seems dishonest to pretend nothing ever happened, that I never said some truly awful things, even if it was a bad time (right after 9/11 and our company downsized) and both of us were messed up because of it. I feel fortunate that they've accepted me back, but it won't be the same - even with good memories, time changes all. The quote that helped me the most is "Forgiveness is nothing more than giving up hope of a different past".

toservez -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 2:25:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong The quote that helped me the most is "Forgiveness is nothing more than giving up hope of a different past". Wow! That is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I am going to write that down and keep it where I will never lose it.

angelic -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 2:38:37 PM)
erin, i do not know the circumstances, nor is it my business. However, i am thinking you need a good 'ole fashion hug. [:)]

KatyLied -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 2:58:50 PM)
Erin - All I can say is you have the power here. The power to consider what is driving his words to you (What is his motivation? With a 14 page letter, there's got to be something going on in his head). And you have the power to let the past remain dead.

Silvermoon -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 3:09:39 PM)
Ex's are Ex's for a reason. I live by that rule. Life's so much simpler!

missturbation -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 3:16:44 PM)
The past often has a way of coming back and biting us in the ass. I find i either take comfort from it or it breaks my heart all over again. I sincerely hope you took comfort from it Erin.

stockingluvr54 -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 3:29:58 PM)
Hopefully it'll put some shit to rest....???? Kinda weird how that stuff seems to work? Had a real grudge against one of my ex's and we bumped into each other at a mutual friends wedding and talked some. Then about a year later she emailed me and we wrote abit....then occasional chats on the phone. She's married now but we still chat from time to time and everything is really cool between us now. Hope it works out that way for you.......

Mistrix -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 3:47:52 PM)
People come in our life for a reason, season or lifetime. Accept that relationship for what it is.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 3:57:10 PM)
I can understand how you feel, I had something like this happen to me just this past weekend. A person out of my past, has sort of come back to haunt me. I am still trying to figure out how to deal with it. Do I just let it all go, now that I have moved on? Do I finish what was started, so I can feel that it all wasn't in vain? I am still not sure of the answers, though I am trying to work it out in my head. We can forgive, but forgetting is sometimes impossible. I have noticed the things I try to forget the most, are the things that fill my dreams. I hope that things work out for you, be well. Akasha

Lordandmaster -> RE: When the past just won't stay dead (10/24/2006 3:58:50 PM)
Yeah, old relationships sometimes pop back up like Glenn Close at the end of Fatal Attraction, but one thing I've noticed is that I haven't talked to someone for a long time, and then start talking to him or her for whatever reason, it doesn't take very long for me to remember why I stopped talking to that person in the first place.

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