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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/16/2007 7:58:32 PM

MyNameisMaam

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not -

would rather have a strong man set that part of him aside for me

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/17/2007 4:41:39 AM

jimbo747

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Im strong believe me. Sometimes I like to be walked all over, however.

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/19/2007 1:53:50 PM

MistressDolly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: houseslut

What do ladies prefer? Is it a total doormat that will do anything they say because they just want to be totally ruled or someone who will do anything they want because the sub wants to please the Mistress but still have a bit of backbone?

Surely there is not much fun in having a total doormat is there?

To me, a doormat is nothing more than a very devoted man. He is deeply devoted to a woman, such that he is willing, able and strong enough to do whatever it is she desires him to do - - no matter what.

It has nothing to do with him having a backbone or not - - he could very well have a strong backbone, indeed but chooses to totally submit to her every whim should she desire him to do so. No matter what.

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/19/2007 3:24:34 PM

MzMia

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I totally agree Dolly, I am still looking for exactly THAT type of
doormat!

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/19/2007 8:36:52 PM

AcademyForSlaves

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Never feel ashamed, disrespected, or embarrassed to submit to Women. There is nothing evil or wrong with serving Womankind.

I like a slave to serve me because he wants to please me.

Why do you feel you need a backbone?

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/20/2007 2:11:16 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly
To me, a doormat is nothing more than a very devoted man. He is deeply devoted to a woman, such that he is willing, able and strong enough to do whatever it is she desires him to do - - no matter what.

It has nothing to do with him having a backbone or not - - he could very well have a strong backbone, indeed but chooses to totally submit to her every whim should she desire him to do so. No matter what.

That's what I was trying to say/

Now, where do I git me one of them???

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 1/20/2007 2:13:24 AM >

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/20/2007 6:44:11 AM

MistressDolly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I totally agree Dolly, I am still looking for exactly THAT type of
doormat!

:) for sure, MzMia!

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/20/2007 6:45:48 AM

MistressDolly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly
To me, a doormat is nothing more than a very devoted man. He is deeply devoted to a woman, such that he is willing, able and strong enough to do whatever it is she desires him to do - - no matter what.

It has nothing to do with him having a backbone or not - - he could very well have a strong backbone, indeed but chooses to totally submit to her every whim should she desire him to do so. No matter what.
That's what I was trying to say/

Now, where do I git me one of them??? M

Truly an attractive and appealing type of Man, huh? wink.
:)

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 5:20:19 PM

slavebrandyj

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: houseslut

What do ladies prefer? Is it a total doormat that will do anything they say because they just want to be totally ruled or someone who will do anything they want because the sub wants to please the Mistress but still have a bit of backbone?

Surely there is not much fun in having a total doormat is there?

To me, a doormat is nothing more than a very devoted man. He is deeply devoted to a woman, such that he is willing, able and strong enough to do whatever it is she desires him to do - - no matter what.

It has nothing to do with him having a backbone or not - - he could very well have a strong backbone, indeed but chooses to totally submit to her every whim should she desire him to do so. No matter what.

I am so glad to see this post! Thank you Ms. Dolly!
I am such a man. I loved my Domme to the point that I wouild sacrifice everything to just serve her and make her happy. I was prepared to cchange my own limits to match hers that I did not agree with. I was prepared to be the best submissive this long time Domme has ever known.
But I can tell you this... a Domme is just a woman. And still holds some old ideals about men. If a man shows his desire to literlly be a doormat to her, she will perhaps lose repsect for him. That might have been a part of the reason I was released. I know there were other reasons too. But I do feel I had lost her respect in tryng to hard to be everything she ever wanted, needed and more.
This doormat still loved her even with shattered pride, ego and lost dreams.
Tonight I shattered any and all hope ending it wiht harsh words since I could not take another word of how wrong I am. Hell, even a doormat an only take so much.

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 5:50:36 PM

MistressDolly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: houseslut

What do ladies prefer? Is it a total doormat that will do anything they say because they just want to be totally ruled or someone who will do anything they want because the sub wants to please the Mistress but still have a bit of backbone?

Surely there is not much fun in having a total doormat is there?

To me, a doormat is nothing more than a very devoted man. He is deeply devoted to a woman, such that he is willing, able and strong enough to do whatever it is she desires him to do - - no matter what.

It has nothing to do with him having a backbone or not - - he could very well have a strong backbone, indeed but chooses to totally submit to her every whim should she desire him to do so. No matter what.

I am so glad to see this post! Thank you Ms. Dolly!
I am such a man. I loved my Domme to the point that I wouild sacrifice everything to just serve her and make her happy. I was prepared to cchange my own limits to match hers that I did not agree with. I was prepared to be the best submissive this long time Domme has ever known.
But I can tell you this... a Domme is just a woman. And still holds some old ideals about men. If a man shows his desire to literlly be a doormat to her, she will perhaps lose repsect for him. That might have been a part of the reason I was released. I know there were other reasons too. But I do feel I had lost her respect in tryng to hard to be everything she ever wanted, needed and more.
This doormat still loved her even with shattered pride, ego and lost dreams.
Tonight I shattered any and all hope ending it wiht harsh words since I could not take another word of how wrong I am. Hell, even a doormat an only take so much.

I'm sorry your 'World' lost respect for you... that is very sad. If it were me I could promise you I would be most appreciative. I know a good thing when I see it.

I feel bad you lost something that meant so much to you. :(
But nevertheless, you seem to know what you want and need - - so that is a good thing!

Nice being wiser ;P

Yes, you're right; everyone has their limit(s).

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 7:24:34 PM

slavebrandyj

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quote:

I'm sorry your 'World' lost respect for you... that is very sad. If it were me I could promise you I would be most appreciative. I know a good thing when I see it.

I feel bad you lost something that meant so much to you. :(
But nevertheless, you seem to know what you want and need - - so that is a good thing!

Nice being wiser ;P

Yes, you're right; everyone has their limit(s).

Thank You Ms. Dolly.
In the end (tonight), i lost it and said some things I wish I could take back. But don't we all say things out of pain, hurt and finally hitting the limit of what we can tolerate? of course she will never see it that way. Odd, she will come here read this and simply accuse me of looking for sympathy or attention. That is bull and ridiculous! I guess it's her way of justifying her giving up on what we once agreed was a goal and dream we shared. It seems to make her feel good about it by putting me down and bringing up old issues that were frankly small.;at least to me they were small. But she has a way of making mountains out of mole holes. Of course I love her enough to climb the highest mountain or knock it down. Tonight she made it clear that the shared rituals, little mementos and all are gone and of no value in our vain attempt to remain friends. Of course I wanted to be there for her for many reasons, One of which was to try to get her back. how foolish of me. And I even believed er when she said she loved me, but now just wants me in her life as a friend. How many of us heard that line before? How many of us have tried hard to be that friend to the one we still love with all our being?

Seems to me that a Domme, once her mind is made up can't go back because it would be like her letting her sub or slave win. Some sort of silly Dominant notion I guess. I just wish more of the loving woman she is would have, for once over ridden her deep entrenchment in our shared lifestyle. I think that kind of false sense of power will limit her and those like her from ever finding a long loving D/s relationship that deep down I know she wants.
I tried. I did everything you can imagine to try to reach that part of her. I tried to reach the Domme in her. I did some pretty stupid things and said a whole lot more things that hurt her. As intelligent as she is, she will never see that those hurting words were out of pain she caused me and were not meant at all.
I at least can leave her knowing I am the only man that ever meant a thing to her that did not hurt her. If she hurts today it her doings and not mine. Her pain over this is all brought on by her actions and lack of care for what she damaged...her slave. The very willing doormat.

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 7:39:02 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

But I can tell you this... a Domme is just a woman. And still holds some old ideals about men. If a man shows his desire to literlly be a doormat to her, she will perhaps lose repsect for him. That might have been a part of the reason I was released. I know there were other reasons too. But I do feel I had lost her respect in tryng to hard to be everything she ever wanted, needed and more.

I'm sorry that your relationship ended, but wonder if your former's take on things would be the same as yours.
I've personally never lost respect for a man who tried too hard to please me, and would relish that kind of trouble any day. I have lost respect for people who lie (especially when their lives/livelihoods didn't depend on it), and people who lack the courage to stand for their convictions (as in a man who brings me continued drama because he's ambivalent about his feelings/desires, or his family doesn't approve).
I wish you well in getting over the pain you seem to be in though, M

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 7:50:41 PM

slavebrandyj

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

But I can tell you this... a Domme is just a woman. And still holds some old ideals about men. If a man shows his desire to literlly be a doormat to her, she will perhaps lose repsect for him. That might have been a part of the reason I was released. I know there were other reasons too. But I do feel I had lost her respect in tryng to hard to be everything she ever wanted, needed and more.
I'm sorry that your relationship ended, but wonder if your former's take on things would be the same as yours.
I've personally never lost respect for a man who tried too hard to please me, and would relish that kind of trouble any day. I have lost respect for people who lie (especially when their lives/livelihoods didn't depend on it), and people who lack the courage to stand for their convictions (as in a man who brings me continued drama because he's ambivalent about his feelings/desires, or his family doesn't approve).
I wish you well in getting over the pain you seem to be in though, M

Of course her take on it would be different. There is my feelings and then her feelings. No right, no wrong.
But sometimes we just have to face facts that she was never into me. Just sad it took 8 months to find that out. end of story.
One thing I learned from her...that is to never lie. I will always appreciate her for teaching me that.

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 7:56:37 PM

TexasMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj
In the end (tonight), i lost it and said some things I wish I could take back. But don't we all say things out of pain, hurt and finally hitting the limit of what we can tolerate? of course she will never see it that way. Odd, she will come here read this and simply accuse me of looking for sympathy or attention....

Just a quick comment re: Don't we all say things out of pain?(etc)

No, we don't all say things we regret.

Some of us learn early on that words can change the way someone feels about us forever.

You have met someone whose feelings for you changed because of the things you said. That is a difficult lesson to learn, and you seem to have not learned it yet or you would not be here blaming her for the words you spoke to lash out and inflict injury.

You got the reaction you intended: damage. You damaged someone who won't put up with that.

Before you utter damaging words again, no matter how provoked you believe yourself to be, ask yourself whether losing that person is worth the temporary one-upmanship of painful verbal sparring. When you 'hit the limit of what you can tolerate', next time walk away and continue the conversation when you've cooled off.

Live, learn, time to move forward.

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 1/21/2007 8:01:45 PM >

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 8:19:06 PM

slavebrandyj

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavebrandyj
In the end (tonight), i lost it and said some things I wish I could take back. But don't we all say things out of pain, hurt and finally hitting the limit of what we can tolerate? of course she will never see it that way. Odd, she will come here read this and simply accuse me of looking for sympathy or attention....

Just a quick comment re: Don't we all say things out of pain?(etc)

No, we don't all say things we regret.

Some of us learn early on that words can change the way someone feels about us forever.

You have met someone whose feelings for you changed because of the things you said. That is a difficult lesson to learn, and you seem to have not learned it yet or you would not be here blaming her for the words you spoke to lash out and inflict injury.

You got the reaction you intended: damage. You damaged someone who won't put up with that.

Before you utter damaging words again, no matter how provoked you believe yourself to be, ask yourself whether losing that person is worth the temporary one-upmanship of painful verbal sparring. When you 'hit the limit of what you can tolerate', next time walk away and continue the conversation when you've cooled off.

Live, learn, time to move forward.

TexasMaam

Texas Ma'am. I know you are right. But I guess she never learned that lesson either. Words flew both directions. Yes, it happened before. She hurts too. So she lashed out with words that I won't repeat or even listen to when I cool down. Yes, I will even forgive her for them as always. But that's me, I try to understand and forget words said out of pain or anger that I know were said in anger or pain.
Sadly I will feel better in the morning and still love her and miss her. She will just put up more of a wall that was there the day I met her and tried to take down. Almost got there too. It is the pain other men in her past did to her that made her what she is today. Now I am afraid I added to it. And when I first fell in love with her, I vowed to be different. I vowed to never be one of the men in her life that hurt her. it is her wall around her hear that made that dream impossible.
Odd, she is not a man hater. I am! I hate what others have done to her and to other woman too. Us men are not as sincere or loving in general as woman. I guess that is part of the reason I am proudly submissive to woven in general. I don't like the way men have treated all women since the beginning of time.
I am ashamed to have added to her hurt. I really am. But there is a time that one has to finally say..."what about me?" And the daily pain gets in the way of clear thinking. So yes TexasMa'am, sadly, you are right.
Thank you for the kind scolding.

< Message edited by slavebrandyj -- 1/21/2007 8:27:36 PM >

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 8:23:53 PM

slavebrandyj

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Never feel ashamed, disrespected, or embarrassed to submit to Women. There is nothing evil or wrong with serving Womankind.

I like a slave to serve me because he wants to please me.

Why do you feel you need a backbone?

I can honestly say that I have never felt ashamed, disrespected or embarrassed to submit to a Woman. I agree with you 100%.
I will proudly serve again. But in my case, I have to feel some sort of bond with that woman to give 100% of the gift of my servatude.
At minnimum, they have to earn that respect from me. Respect is not a dominant right. It has to be earned. Just as them respecting me has to be earned.

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 9:32:06 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

At minnimum, they have to earn that respect from me. Respect is not a dominant right. It has to be earned. Just as them respecting me has to be earned

Respect is not a right for anyone, but as I said earlier to another asking, it helps one to get along better in the world if one does behave in a respectful manner, and of course withdraw it if the individual or situation proves to have been unworthy of respect. M

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/21/2007 10:14:04 PM

GuidingLite

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I think it should be a right (and a right that can change at any time) and I think initially under normal circumstances one should show common curteously (respect). I mean why not be a right if it's for a good common cause.

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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/22/2007 12:27:58 AM

RumpusParable

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I'm sure I'm echoing others (I'll read the thread in a moment, want to get my fresh reply out first), but I'd go with option B. I want a sub/slave to submit to Me, not just be weak-willed.

I don't mind starting off quickly with someone I feel may be right with me, but that's much different from dealing with someone who can't function as a fully self-responsible and healthily self-esteemed adult. Frankly, the latter is too much work for me to bother with.

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