quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel

Domme--a dominant female.  Her personal character and the role she enjoys in BDSM determines the use of the term, regardless of whether she is currently in a relationship.

Mistress- An honoriffic term, it is how most dommes are addressed in a scene or in a relationship by a submissive or slave.  Also generally one who owns a slave. 

Slave- Owned property, male or female.  High degree of power exchange with dominant partner, male or female.  Most "slave" relationships are 24/7, and many are denoted by the wearing of a collar, a piece of ceremonial jewelry or a tattoo.

Submissive- A person who enjoys the submissive role in BDSM.  The exact nature and details of the type of submission they practice is highly individual.

Top--A person who performs action on another.  Being dominant is not necessary, but heavily implied.  A dominant wielding a whip on a bound victim and a submissive giving a massage to a relaxed dominant are both technically performing actions, and thus "top", but people will only think of the whip-wielder, usually, when they use this word.

Bottom- A person who enjoys being on the receiving end of physical sensations.  Being "submissive" per se is not necessary, although heavily implied.  Technically, a person being massaged or receiving oral sex is the "bottom", because they are receiving sensation, but they may be dominant.  See above--most people will think of the bound victim when they use this word.

This is how I generally use the terms.

--M

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I was referring to this. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I don't get it, LaM.  I tend to reference the dictionary for clarity of terms, but I'm inferring from your posts that you frown upon that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I use the dictionary all the time.  Probably more than anyone on Collarme, to be honest, because I write constantly and precision is crucial to my work.  I own about 130 dictionaries.  Truthfully.  But you have to know the purpose of your tools.  You don't use a screwdriver to hammer in a nail.  You don't use an orbital sander to lay a carpet.  And you don't use a dictionary to tell you what "slave" means.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I don't get it, LaM.  I tend to reference the dictionary for clarity of terms, but I'm inferring from your posts that you frown upon that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: livinincincy

I was informed that there is only one correct definition of the terms used by the D/s BDSM community.
So the textbook definitions are ?

quote:

ORIGINAL: livinincincy

I have been playing devils advocate to see what the Collarme.com community would reveal.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I use the dictionary all the time.  Probably more than anyone on Collarme, to be honest, because I write constantly and precision is crucial to my work.  I own about 130 dictionaries.  Truthfully.  But you have to know the purpose of your tools.  You don't use a screwdriver to hammer in a nail.  You don't use an orbital sander to lay a carpet.  And you don't use a dictionary to tell you what "slave" means.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I don't get it, LaM.  I tend to reference the dictionary for clarity of terms, but I'm inferring from your posts that you frown upon that.

But....Why??

No seriously.  If you go to KoM's thread about saying what we mean, you'll see that I think very literally and as a result, communication is sometimes difficult for me.  While I understand that some words have flexibility in their meanings and one can not be too literal with their interpretation, I also believe the dictionary provides a good basis or outline from which to start.  Having said that, I do believe "slave" means what Webster's says it means (I'm not sure which dictionary was used in the thread you are referring to, but this is what I see in Websters):  1) A person held in servitude as the chattel of another; 2) One that is completely subservient to a dominating influence; and 3) a device that is directly responsive to another.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Dictionaries call their entries "definitions," but they don't, in fact, define terms; they merely describe them.  There is a world of difference.  "Slave" happens to be an extremely complicated word even in the vanilla world; in BDSM usage, it's even more complicated.  (And let's not get to Gor.)  A dictionary can't possibly reflect all the complexity.  For one thing, "slave" has a long and varied history; it has meant different things at different times and in different cultures.

But above all, what we call "slave" is a matter of identity; it's not--unlike in the past--a legal or social term.  What slavery meant in Roman times, or in the antebellum South, or in whatever sources a dictionary is going to use to construct its definition, have little bearing on the way we use and understand the term in a BDSM context.  Even within the BDSM world, as we see virtually every day on Collarme, there are radically different understandings of the essence, nature, and obligations of a slave.  Why would you go to a dictionary for guidance about THAT?  A dictionary tells you how a word is generally used; a good dictionary tells you how a word has been used in the past.  No more, no less.  It does not tell you about life.

Edited to add: By the way, if you're serious about dictionaries, it's worthwhile to look into the lexicographical principles on which they're based--and how those have changed.  I recommend Sidney I. Landau's Dictionaries: The Art and Craft of Lexicography (Cambridge University Press).  The second edition is available in a reasonably priced paperback.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Example:  I'm putting lawn in my yard.  When I say that, you (collectively) have a picture in your mind of what I'm talking about.  Everyone tends to know what a lawn is.  From there, conversation can ensue - Am I laying sod?  Planting seeds?  What kind of lawn (my poor Dad experimented with Dichondra once - what a disaster)?  Where in the yard - front, back, side strip?  As you can see, there are so many variations from there.  The word "lawn" gives us a foundation from which to work.  Conversation allows the details and personalizes it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

You were informed incorrectly.  Check some of the threads on definitions and terminology recently posted.  People who have been in the scene for years and years still argue over "proper" definitions.  Get an idea of what the general consensus is but be open to the possibility that your definition may not be someone else's.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel
Top--A person who performs action on another.  Being dominant is not necessary, but heavily implied.  A dominant wielding a whip on a bound victim and a submissive giving a massage to a relaxed dominant are both technically performing actions, and thus "top", but people will only think of the whip-wielder, usually, when they use this word.

Bottom- A person who enjoys being on the receiving end of physical sensations.  Being "submissive" per se is not necessary, although heavily implied.  Technically, a person being massaged or receiving oral sex is the "bottom", because they are receiving sensation, but they may be dominant.  See above--most people will think of the bound victim when they use this word.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

If my bottoming to you only entailed me getting my feet rubbed, where do I sign up.  I'll even call ya Sir ;)