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Master's rules - 10/27/2006 12:56:39 PM

nightrosemom

Posts: 80
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline

Ok,

Master has been trying to put rules into effect ever since we moved into our own house, but has never really had the time to enforce them because we have a 6 month old who requires alot of our attention.

any ideas on how to deal with the frustrations of these transitisions as He starts punishing me and I am tested?

Lol He has very much spoiled me and i through temper tantrums, and i get frustrated when i get told no lol so any help would be wonderful.

How did you act when told no? how did you deal with the frustrations?

(edited because i pushed enter and didnt mean to post it yet)

< Message edited by nightrosemom -- 10/27/2006 12:57:34 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 1:15:41 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

You could try to make things easier by actually adhering to his rules so that no enforcement is necessary.

I don't mean, for example, if he tells you to go to bed at 10:00 PM and you have to get up for a 2:00 AM feeding, but those things which are doable and controllable on your side. Why not just do what he wants? You're in a power exchange because you want to be, right? Just grow up a bit, quit throwing temper tantrums.. that's the job of the infant, not the mother.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to nightrosemom)

Post #: 2

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 1:17:54 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

What do you mean by "rules"? What he's wanting to do might not be appropriate for a couple who has an infant to care for.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to nightrosemom)

Post #: 3

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 1:26:52 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

My thoughts exactly... I fail to understand what having a 6 month old has to do with an inability to enforce rules/follow rules. If this is the case, you both might as well hang it up now & find some other way to manage your relationship. It ain't gonna get any easier as the child matures.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 10/27/2006 1:27:26 PM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 4

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 3:01:56 PM

untamedshysub

Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline

This is going to sound harsh but it sounds like you are using the baby to have your way. Masters set rules for a reason just as you will set rules for the child as it grows or you will so regret it. If for no other reason than for the child not to see you behave like a spoiled brat cut out the temper tanturms. Because children learn by example and if it works for you it will for him/her and you will have hell on your hands.

good luck

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 5

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 3:54:16 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

When I had a newborn baby I went through sleep fighting with my exhusband. I would look like I was awake, I would be feeding my son even, acting awake, but I would say horrible things to my ex and have no recollection of them. He would be angry with me the next day and tell me that he could not believe what I had said to him (in my waking moments I never said anything mean to him like I did while sleeping).

Having a new baby is a stressful time both physically and emotionally. I am going to say that this is a very important time to really talk to your master/mate/husband/father of your offspring about what is going on with you. Your first job is to be a mom, but you should not forget him, and on top of it all, do not forget yourself. You guys are a family unit, each piece important, and I would say while Ds maybe the cornerstone of your relationship, it is not going to happen if you are sleep deprived, hormonally off, or feeling out of sorts. These things are common the first year of a baby's life because of schedule changes, illnesses, teething, breast feeding, and your body regulating itself. Many relationships fail when a baby comes into them.

So while you did not address this in your OP, I just thought I would throw it out there ... just a little food for thought, if it is not relevent to you, maybe someone else will get something out of it

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to nightrosemom)

Post #: 6

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 4:14:22 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

You could try to make things easier by actually adhering to his rules so that no enforcement is necessary.

This is the first thought that went through my head when I read the OP. Master does not need to enforce the rules if the slave is actually being obedient.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 7

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 4:21:35 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Lol He has very much spoiled me and i through temper tantrums, and i get frustrated when i get told no lol so any help would be wonderful.

You sure laugh a lot for someone who's disobeying. Do you have any respect for your Master?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to nightrosemom)

Post #: 8

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 4:23:54 PM

krista

Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Greetings

i read nothing in the OP that would lead me to believe the author was a submissive.

regards
krista
joy through service

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 9

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 4:46:00 PM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nightrosemom

Ok,

Master has been trying to put rules into effect ever since we moved into our own house, but has never really had the timeto enforce them because we have a 6 month old who requires alot of our attention.

Well nightrose, it sounds like you and your partner got wrapped up in parenthood for a bit and perhaps the D/s got shoved to the back burner. That is not a bad thing. It happens to many others, i'm sure. A baby can change a lot of lifestyles...at least temporarily anyway.

any ideas on how to deal with the frustrations of these transitisions as He starts punishing me and I am tested?

Lol He has very much spoiled me and i through temper tantrums, and i get frustrated when i get told no lol so any help would be wonderful.

Well, you're just going to have to get back into the 'swing of things' so to speak. It sounds like he has let things slide for a bit and now it's time to get back on track in your D/s relationship.

How did you act when told no? how did you deal with the frustrations?

How did i act when told no? Well let's say that temper tantrums are not foreign to me (afterall, i am a daddysgirl ) But with proper disciplinary actions, the temper tantrums decreased (afterall, i am not a masochist!).....and with that, my frustrations subsided as well. i actually would have been more frustrated if he let me get away with that

It sounds like you just need to get back into whatever it was before you had the baby and that may take a little time (and of course i'm assuming you had a D/s based relationship before the baby was born).

You are young and have a baby. It might not hurt to talk with others in your same situation.

Best wishes to you...and yours

(edited because i pushed enter and didnt mean to post it yet)

(in reply to nightrosemom)

Post #: 10

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 5:55:34 PM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

To me part of bringing another human being into this world is being a reponsible parent to them. In any relationship there will be times the unmentionable comes first and times when you need to find a sitter and spend couple time. Sounds like maybe its time for some couple time.

Infants in particular can shut out all else with their needs. I remember the all night teething crying that left me with two hours of sleep. I remember nights up all night with a tiny one who was sick. D/s is going to necessarily get pushed aside at times.

Chin up!! They get less exhausting by the time they're in school.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 11

RE: Master's rules - 10/27/2006 11:36:11 PM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nightrosemom

Ok,

Master has been trying to put rules into effect ever since we moved into our own house, but has never really had the time to enforce them because we have a 6 month old who requires alot of our attention.

any ideas on how to deal with the frustrations of these transitisions as He starts punishing me and I am tested?

Lol He has very much spoiled me and i through temper tantrums, and i get frustrated when i get told no lol so any help would be wonderful.

How did you act when told no? how did you deal with the frustrations?

(edited because i pushed enter and didnt mean to post it yet)

Okay, wait a minute....let's back the truck up.

nightrose, your profile says you joined here 4/17/06. On 4/23, your journal says you found a guy you were interested in. On 5/18, your journal says you were collared. You moved in together and now have a 6 month old baby? Holy cow....i am really confused now!

You obviously had the baby before you were with him. Have you done any D/s with him? i'm not understanding this situation now.

DG

< Message edited by adaddysgirl -- 10/27/2006 11:55:39 PM >

(in reply to nightrosemom)

Post #: 12

RE: Master's rules - 10/28/2006 6:30:10 AM

sintralgasub

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Are there any consequences when you break a rule?

(in reply to nightrosemom)

Post #: 13

RE: Master's rules - 10/28/2006 3:51:20 PM

ladychatterley

Posts: 132
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline

If it were me, I would sit down and say--I really don't want to disobey, but I can't keep up the rules we had before the baby came. Could we start over with new rules that take into account where we are? Of course, I will do my absolute darndest to follow through on what we agree to.

And be clear and open about the problems and what he can automatically expect, what you can try to do and what just isn't feasible now. If the man can't understand that rules change with other circumstances and adapt to them, then you probably don't want to be with him. Negotiate what you can do, and then stick to it.

(in reply to sintralgasub)

Post #: 14

RE: Master's rules - 10/30/2006 10:27:13 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

I didn't sleep through the night for nearly two years after my first was born. There is no way I could have been expected to adhere to someone else's ideas of what was doable while suffering from sleep deprivation.

Add to that the fact that he appears to be changing the rules. One day one is enforced and then it is considered of no importance for months and then suddenly out of nowhere you're being punished for a rule he appeared to have dropped. I'd be more than bratty in this situation, I'd be angry and furious.

He needs to reduce the rules to a bare minimum and even then, he needs to ask why first and punish much later. Because everything changes with an infant. Your hormones are still in flux and will remain so as long as you're nursing. Your time is not your own, you are at the mercy of a person who is changing constantly and whose needs are relentless. His rules have to come after the baby which means if there's a conflict, the baby's needs come first.

(in reply to ladychatterley)

Post #: 15

RE: Master's rules - 11/2/2006 4:03:05 PM

WolfGod

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/12/2006
Status: offline

Sorry for there not being many replies by her or myself. We havent had internet for a while.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

I didn't sleep through the night for nearly two years after my first was born. There is no way I could have been expected to adhere to someone else's ideas of what was doable while suffering from sleep deprivation.

Add to that the fact that he appears to be changing the rules. One day one is enforced and then it is considered of no importance for months and then suddenly out of nowhere you're being punished for a rule he appeared to have dropped. I'd be more than bratty in this situation, I'd be angry and furious.

I am not changeing any rules, nor have i dropped any, we both sat down, and thought up rules to put in place, but at the moment life is a bit hectic to always enforce them. Things are begining to settle down now and things are becomeing a bit easier as we both have more time to devote to eachother.

He needs to reduce the rules to a bare minimum and even then, he needs to ask why first and punish much later. Because everything changes with an infant. Your hormones are still in flux and will remain so as long as you're nursing. Your time is not your own, you are at the mercy of a person who is changing constantly and whose needs are relentless. His rules have to come after the baby which means if there's a conflict, the baby's needs come first.

Our daughters needs have always come first, no matter what. That is one thing i am adimit about. There may be times when ya wanna just lock her in a room and forget about her but that's not how things are done around here and deffinitly not how a child should be treated. Also she isnt breast feeding, she hasnt since our daughter was born, she's been bottle fed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

Okay, wait a minute....let's back the truck up.

nightrose, your profile says you joined here 4/17/06. On 4/23, your journal says you found a guy you were interested in. On 5/18, your journal says you were collared. You moved in together and now have a 6 month old baby? Holy cow....i am really confused now!

You obviously had the baby before you were with him. Have you done any D/s with him? i'm not understanding this situation now.

DG

In reply to this, she was born before we met, but she is now my daughter and i love her very much. We have done some D/s but a baby makes finding time hard so we make up for it when she goes and sees her grandparents while trying to keep some aspects in our daily lives.

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 16

RE: Master's rules - 11/2/2006 7:08:28 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Hmmm...
Well... imnsho, it takes all kinds. And no one else (unless you are applying to be their submissive) has the right to say you ARE or ARE NOT a submissive,
Lots would say I'm not if they caught me at certain times.
I do not call myself 'this girl',
sign over my property,
or live indefinitely without any of my needs being met...
That said..
There are many who would say that they would never be as submissive as me...
Relationships are about, love, friendship, and growth.
There are times in your life you are 'mom'
and times in your life you are .... uhmm ... well .... you know ...
Enjoy every moment, and help him to as well.
You have plenty of time, in the very near future, to figure out the rest.

Peace and love;

~Christina

(in reply to WolfGod)

Post #: 17

RE: Master's rules - 11/3/2006 4:12:24 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

What sort of rules are we talking aboute? Some wery time consuming high protocol rules might not be constructive for a household whit a baby, whitout further information i would say one or both of theese things are the problem.

A, you refuse to obey resonable demands, why do you do that? you are in a power exhange relationship you have chosen this life, how to fix this problem? Obey so he dont need to enforce the rules.

B, your Master wish to have to mutch protocol, to mutch time consuming rituals and rutines into a household where they do not fit. How to fix this? speak whit him so you and him together and work out a set whit rules that do work.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 18

RE: Master's rules - 11/4/2006 6:32:02 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Sorry WG, if you can't make the time to pay attention to these rules, then how do you expect her to have the time to follow them? If it's important to you then you would ask about it daily, "did you do this, why not?" What a sub gets from the dom's ignoring it is that it isn't important. You have to lead in this dance of D/s not expect her to dance on her own.

With bottle feeding she's getting more sleep than nursing mothers but not much more. And just because she agreed to them before labor doesn't mean they're doable.

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 19

RE: Master's rules - 11/27/2006 4:50:23 PM

MASTERNEEDSLAVE

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/24/2005
Status: offline

Hummm Im thinking he must not be a true Dom

Master Loyd

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 20

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