nursing in public (Full Version)

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proudsub -> nursing in public (1/29/2005 4:32:41 PM)

We were at Quiznos for lunch today and a lady at the table next to us pulled up her sweater and started nursing her baby who looked about 18 mo old. I am curious what everyone thinks of this. Hubby enjoyed it LOL. I know it's a natural thing to do, but personally i feel she should of at least covered with a blanket.



phoenix52 -> RE: nursing in public (1/29/2005 4:52:43 PM)

This does not bother me persay, but it does surprise me that the mothers are not more modest! i'm not being judgemental, i just know that *i* would want to cover up if it were me.

i wonder what this mother's response would have been if someone had openly stared...



MadameDahlia -> RE: nursing in public (1/29/2005 5:07:47 PM)

I think that if you're able to do that in public without feeling self-conscious then go for it... the kid has to eat lunch too.



darkinshadows -> RE: nursing in public (1/29/2005 6:27:47 PM)

When I had my children, it was my choice not to breast feed. It was an active choice. I have two healthy, wonderful, content children who slept through the night from early on, who are not clingy, are free spirited, polite and aware of other peoples needs.

Yet when I bottle fed I was made to feel as though I was doing incredible harm to my children, that my choice was wrong and selfish.
I beg to differ.

If someone wishes to breast feed, I see nothing more than beauty and wonder. If they breast feed in public, I say... good on them for being true to their own nature. I see nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public, but I do understand that some people may find it embarressing and even offensive, but until shops and restaurents provide alternatives there is nothing more that can be done.
Yes, I am aware of feeding rooms and toilets etc... but have you ever experienced those places? I wouldnt bottle feed in them, let alone breast.



Moleculor -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 7:13:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

We were at Quiznos for lunch today and a lady at the table next to us pulled up her sweater and started nursing her baby who looked about 18 mo old. I am curious what everyone thinks of this. Hubby enjoyed it LOL. I know it's a natural thing to do, but personally i feel she should of at least covered with a blanket.


Pah. A blanket? What, was she wrinkly or something? :P



proudsub -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 8:41:33 AM)

Thanks for the responses. That's kinda how I thought the replies would go.[:)] With my babies i always went somewhere private to nurse them, but that was almost 30years ago. Maybe today i wouldn't.



thnkiwntaspank -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 12:15:53 PM)

Yes, the baby has to have lunch as well, and yes it is perfectly natural for a woman to do. However, there are many things that are natural. For instance, all of us on this site see our choices as being natural, however, there is a great deal of what we do that we would not do in public because it might make others uncomfortable. Nursing in public often makes others uncomfortable, and yes, the appropriate thing to do would have been to go to the ladies lounge or to cover with a blanket.

Also, as a general rule, breast feeding beyond a year, while a very viable and acceptable choice for some, is NOT what is the norm. Typically, when the "infant" can walk up to mom, open her blouse and ask for lunch, most believe you should stop. I have seen news shows where mom continues to breast feed well into the child's elementary school education.

So, at the risk of getting blasted...if you choose to breast feed your child for the duration of their childhood, understand that I really don't care to watch, and ask that you think about that. Not all things that are "natural" need to be done in a public place just because it is your belief.



stef -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 1:23:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thnkiwntaspank

Yes, the baby has to have lunch as well, and yes it is perfectly natural for a woman to do. However, there are many things that are natural. For instance, all of us on this site see our choices as being natural, however, there is a great deal of what we do that we would not do in public because it might make others uncomfortable. Nursing in public often makes others uncomfortable, and yes, the appropriate thing to do would have been to go to the ladies lounge or to cover with a blanket.

I'm sorry, but equating breast feeding to kink is somewhat sophistic. A good deal of WIITWD is outright illegal in many places or dances on/near the line of legality, especially when performed in public. Breastfeeding is not.

quote:

Also, as a general rule, breast feeding beyond a year, while a very viable and acceptable choice for some, is NOT what is the norm.

That's certainly true in the US, but outside our little melting pot the average is between two and three years. It also flies in direct opposition to reccomendations from Dr. Barry Sears, La Leche League International and the American Academy of Pediatrics. Their current AAP guidelines state "It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired."

~stef



thnkiwntaspank -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 2:13:56 PM)

My comparison of breastfeeding to various forms of kink was simply to put it into perspective. I could have just as easily used several other human functions/behaviors that while quite natural to some, do not mean that they should be done in public.

I realize that here in the US, we have a tendency to still be a bit puratanical regarding public behavior. The POINT is that no one has a right to subject anyone to their behavior (when it is not, although legally allowed, widely accepted). As for the AAP guidelines that breastfeeding beyond 12 months should continue as long as mutually desired...so theoretically, a child could breast feed straight through to college if this is what was "mutually desired". Get a grip. Children desire many things, and as parents, it is our responsibility to make reasonable, acceptable decisions on what is best. The statement of "mutually desirable" means nothing more than "as long as the parent chooses to do so". Children of that age are certainly not capable of making any kind of informed decision. A child may DESIRE to continue wearing diapers or using a pacifer, however, a parent makes the determination of when these things, for the benefit of the child, should be given up. There is no mutual decision involved.

There are a time and place for everything. Most nursing mothers would not sit in a church pew and begin nursing their baby during a church service. According to your theory, there is no "unacceptable" time, and yet, these mothers still make determinations which public forum is acceptable for breast feeding their babies. To do so without the consideration of those around them is very inappropriate.



EStrict -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 2:19:21 PM)

Just because people in general have become prudes, it does not change the fact that woman have breast feed since the begging of mankind. Why should a poor baby be smothered to prevent someone elses delicate sensibilities from being injured?

As far as age goes. I do feel that some parents go on too long, but the same can be said for bottles and diapers.

When Race was a newborn, he and his monther lived with us. When my teen sons came to visit, she asked me if she needed to go upstairs to breast feed. I said I saw no reason to, but to ask (the boys were in the den, she would be in the living room). I said to my older son (who was 16), *do you mind if Leslie breastfeeds?* His head whipped around, and he got a startled look on his face and said "Me!?" We all laughed and said no, Race, and he said of course not. We still tease him about that...




MadameDahlia -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 2:36:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: thnkiwntaspank
For instance, all of us on this site see our choices as being natural, however, there is a great deal of what we do that we would not do in public because it might make others uncomfortable. Nursing in public often makes others uncomfortable, and yes, the appropriate thing to do would have been to go to the ladies lounge or to cover with a blanket.


When there is something I don't want to see on the television I change the channel or turn it off.

If a woman decides to breastfeed her kid in public and it offends someone that person always has the option to look away or request a new table, seat, etc.



darkinshadows -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 2:51:36 PM)

quote:

There are a time and place for everything. Most nursing mothers would not sit in a church pew and begin nursing their baby during a church service.


You obviously havent been to any of the same churches Angel has! *lol*

But seriously... whilst I can understand the embarressment you and others may feel when 'faced' with a breastfeeding mother, stating that they should 'go to the ladies lounge ' is just not always a viable option. Often they are poorly maintained, dirty and small... not good when you have a babe and one or more toddlers in tow, and a pushchair and bags.

I dont think you can compare it to a kink or fetish. It isnt illegal, it bad for a persons health. If I want to inhale second hand smoke, I sit in the smoking section. I have the ability to move and not. If I need the toilet, I have the ability to wait until I find somewhere thats available and appropriate.

However, breastfeeding isnt just a natural thing to do. Its also a necessity.



match2u -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 3:07:55 PM)




hugs to all,

i have breast feed my son nearly one year - god hell i do not know how i have done that, especially he had a rythm about every hour for the first 6 months - smile

i had never a blanket with me and i feed him whereever i was - otherwise i had to stayed at home and imprisoned there regarding his rythm.

i am living in germany, and here its normal for the people when women feeding there baby - doesnt matter where they are

myself - i enjoy the view to see it. its a special moment between mother and child and give a little of this symbiosis we all have in our 10 months of pregnancy.

sometimes i really think we seek that symbiosis our whole life - smile -

love


petra
(white snowflake in the ghetto)





stef -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 3:16:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thnkiwntaspank

My comparison of breastfeeding to various forms of kink was simply to put it into perspective. I could have just as easily used several other human functions/behaviors that while quite natural to some, do not mean that they should be done in public.

Such as?

quote:

There are a time and place for everything. Most nursing mothers would not sit in a church pew and begin nursing their baby during a church service. According to your theory, there is no "unacceptable" time, and yet, these mothers still make determinations which public forum is acceptable for breast feeding their babies. To do so without the consideration of those around them is very inappropriate.

I don't believe I put forth any "theory" on this matter. I merely pointed out that your opinion on the matter was the opposite of what the 'experts' say.

Try not to get all worked up over this. It's ok to have a different opinion.

~stef



jillwfsub4blkdom -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 5:10:16 PM)

Proud,
i have really mixed feelings about this one. First, i would be very uncomfortable with seeing it done around me. Yet, i see the necessity for the mother needing to do it. i guess i am just more of a private person and would be more comfortable in doing it in some area where it is more private. Guess not much of an answer is it.

jill



sweetpleaser -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 6:22:09 PM)

I'm with Jill on this one. I wouldn't do it in public but understand others who do.



mistoferin -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 6:32:21 PM)

I breast fed my son until the age of two. At that time he weaned himself naturally....most babies tend to wean on their own between the ages of 1 and 2 years. I breast fed him whenever he needed to be fed, regardless of where I was. I tried to be as discreet as I could be because I am concious that others are a bit squeamish at times regarding breastfeeding, although I can not understand their views.

I can tell you that most people were completely unaware that I was nursing, and on several occasions even had people come up to me and ask to see the baby. The nipple is only exposed for a brief moment before the baby latches on and after it does there is certainly an obstructed view from that point on. I generally wore clothing that was designed for nursing so I never had to take half my shirt off in order to accomplish the task.

This is the only country in the world that views the female breast as a purely sexual body part. In other countries it is very common for women to nurse their children until the age of two and beyond. In third world countries it is even common for children to nurse until the age of 5 or 6, a necessity there as it provides vital nutrition. Le Leche League recommends that if it is possible that you allow your baby to wean naturally, and most babies do this without any prompt.

I can see nothing that is more "right" than a mother meeting her child's nutritional and emotional needs by feeding on demand. I am not only not offended by it, but it also touches my heart to see such a special moment shared between mother and baby.



ShadeDiva -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 8:21:48 PM)

Yeah we Americans get awful prudish about natural functions.

I don't get it myself.

It's a freaking BOOB that you can't even see - would folks get so uptight about seeing someone milk a cow? lol Their nipples are waaaaaaaay more obscene than ours are, and if ours are sooooo bad why do men get to parade theirs around? (I get really pissy about the no shirt option men have in the summer LOL)

It's bad enough that we don't assoicate the packaged meat in a grocery coming from a living creature now we stop assoicating the biological function of what a breasts sole reasoin for existence is?

Boggles my mind.

They exist for only one reason and folks trip on women using it for what it's meant to be used *for*.

<shakes head>

Never understand why folks add in extra stuff to a purely biological function.

~ShadeDiva



MadameBette -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 8:53:11 PM)

After my daughter was born, some neighbors came over to visit.
One guy told a story about his recent trip to Italy, and how he was so embarrassed when a woman sitting next to him nursed her baby.
Everyone in the room started laughing.
He asked what's going on?
They pointed to me and said she's nursing her baby right now!
It looked like she was sleeping in my arms.
I'm sure you were just as discreet.

This was back in the '70's and life was a little 'freer' then. Now the pendulum has swung back the other way.
Too bad.
~ Bette



NATI -> RE: nursing in public (1/30/2005 9:52:50 PM)

quote:

That's certainly true in the US, but outside our little melting pot the average is between two and three years. It also flies in direct opposition to reccomendations from Dr. Barry Sears, La Leche League International and the American Academy of Pediatrics. Their current AAP guidelines state "It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired."


Most babies will wean themselves when they have enough teeth in their head to do that predigestion thing we all do with our food. Solid food becomes interesting - and the next thing you know - you're listening to a chorus of high pitched voices shrieking every time you drive past a McDonald's or a Burger King. Kudos to mom's everywhere who do not rush this onslaught of bad hamburgers and bad french fries.

In all seriousness - this prudishness we have in the States regarding breast feeding has everything to do with the fact that women are still required to cover their breasts at all times. I wholeheartedly agree with ShadeDiva on that one!



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