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ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 11:57:44 AM

mercmjm

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any of your doms ever really feel bad about domming?

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 12:00:14 PM

Lordandmaster

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No.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 12:00:37 PM

mercmjm

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like does anyones consciounce ever act up while punishing or just when you think about the things we do to subs and slaves?

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 12:03:06 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

like does anyones consciounce ever act up while punishing or just when you think about the things we do to subs and slaves?

No and No

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 12:05:14 PM

Youresomine

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You have to feel like you're doing something wrong to feel bad...so no...not at all.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 12:08:22 PM

MysticFireTopaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm
like does anyones consciounce ever act up while punishing or just when you think about the things we do to subs and slaves?

No, can't say that it does.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 12:21:19 PM

Lordandmaster

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Does the eagle feel bad when it seizes the rabbit? We are what we were born to be.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 12:26:31 PM

ownedgirlie

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Why feel bad for getting what you want, and in doing so, giving her exactly what she wants?

Sometimes the lessons we are taught in life conflict with who we really are.

(in reply to mercmjm)

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 2:19:43 PM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

any of your doms ever really feel bad about domming?

Mature, intelligent, *consenting* adults fulfilling mutual needs and desires. What's to feel bad about?

By vanilla standards and those of modern, western society in general; dominating/controlling another is wrong. And I couldn't do it if I felt that way. But I don't - see opening sentence....

Focus.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 2:22:43 PM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Does the eagle feel bad when it seizes the rabbit? We are what we were born to be.

Lol, can't help thinking the rabbit doesn't consent - ergo this relationship is definitely abusive!

Focus.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 2:48:34 PM

Morrigel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

any of your doms ever really feel bad about domming?

Occasionally, but probably not in the way that you mean.

I do not prey on children, or people who are unable to consent--whether they are drugged, mentally handicapped or mentally ill makes no difference. Grown up, fully consenting people have been seeking me out and throwing themselves at my feet since I was 18 years old--it is, as others have said, very natural. Most of what I have learned about dominating men and women I have learned from men and women who craved domination. Kind of hard to feel guilty under the circumstances!

On the other hand, I have often felt bad in a way, when a masochist approached me with a very sincere desire which made my blood run cold. As with the men who have expressed the desire to be castrated, or done some other really serious harm.

It makes me question dominance in general when I am confronted with these destructive extremes of submission.

I also have often felt a pang when a submissive in my circle was using scenes to re-live and re-script bad experiences that had occurred in the past, be it childhood, adolescence, etc.. I felt great sadness for the person in the past who was raped, beaten or otherwise rendered powerless and terrified...and for the survivor in the present who was trying to cope with it in the present day.

--M

< Message edited by Morrigel -- 10/28/2006 3:02:33 PM >

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 4:33:27 PM

Lordandmaster

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All right, all right. Let's use childbirth instead. Does any male "feel bad" that he put a woman through the pain of childbirth?

Pffffft, I don't. Childbirth is how we make little humans. Take it up with God.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Does the eagle feel bad when it seizes the rabbit? We are what we were born to be.

Lol, can't help thinking the rabbit doesn't consent - ergo this relationship is definitely abusive!

(in reply to Focus50)

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 4:38:42 PM

Morrigel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

All right, all right. Let's use childbirth instead. Does any male "feel bad" that he put a woman through the pain of childbirth?

Yes, many men do. One of my dearest friends had this experience--he was normally quite the dom, but during the birth of his second daughter things went wrong, and got very traumatizing for over an hour. He was completely humbled by the feelings of worthlessness and shame as his wife and second child fought for their lives.

--M

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 4:41:35 PM

Lordandmaster

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That's not the same thing. You can feel sympathy for a woman's pain without "feeling bad," as the OP put it, that you caused it. My wife went through considerable pain because of complications too, but it would be irrational for me to feel guilty about that.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 4:47:23 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

That's not the same thing. You can feel sympathy for a woman's pain without "feeling bad," as the OP put it, that you caused it. My wife went through considerable pain because of complications too, but it would be irrational for me to feel guilty about that.

I would say very irrational

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 4:51:57 PM

Morrigel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

That's not the same thing. You can feel sympathy for a woman's pain without "feeling bad," as the OP put it, that you caused it. My wife went through considerable pain because of complications too, but it would be irrational for me to feel guilty about that.

*shrug* Not all men are completely "rational" when the woman they love is in mortal danger, especially when that danger is due to an action they took or a decision they made. And even more so when it is too late and they can do nothing about it--they cannot take it back and they are completely helpless while she suffers and may die.

He thought of many things during that grueling hour, including what life would be like for him and their older child, then 8, if she died. It was a powerfully enlightening moment for him in many ways. And he most definitely felt bad--which made it all the better when she survived, and he was given a second chance to be the father, the lover and the husband he wanted to be.

--M

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 5:05:12 PM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Morrigel
...

I also have often felt a pang when a submissive in my circle was using scenes to re-live and re-script bad experiences that had occurred in the past, be it childhood, adolescence, etc.. I felt great sadness for the person in the past who was raped, beaten or otherwise rendered powerless and terrified...and for the survivor in the present who was trying to cope with it in the present day.

--M

For what it may be worth I wouldn't call this feeling bad. Given the ways in which you qualified your overall comments I suspect we actually see this similarly.

I hope that in each such case situation was such that your sadness could be liberally tempered with admiration and a range of other positive feelings toward for the person before you in that moment. I'm beting it was.

As to the original poster:

Don't worry, sport. It gets easier as you go along. I predict that your second and third scenes won't tax you nearly as heavily as the one which inspired this thread.

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 5:16:18 PM

DiurnalVampire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

any of your doms ever really feel bad about domming?

Never. I have never forced anyone to submit, so I have nothing to feel bad about. Even when scenes have gone wrong, brought up feelings that my pets had not intended them to, and given us things to deal with, Ive never felt bad. We deal, grow and move on.

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 6:07:31 PM

kc692

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Do you?

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Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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RE: ever feel bad - 10/28/2006 6:13:55 PM

Celeste43

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The op is young. He's been taught all his life to share, to take turns, keep his hands to himself. But underneath he has this great desire to push her down, slap her around and do what he wants, to hell with her turn or sharing. I think it would be odd if he didn't feel some qualms.

What is important to keep in the front of your mind however is that this involves mutual consent. You don't ask a woman you met at your cousin's party out to dinner, then when bringing her home you shove her face down onto the hood of your car, spank her until she cries before having sex with her. If you did this you would rightly expect to be picked up by the cops for assault and rape. However, if you are in a relationship with someone who enjoys these activities, then it would be a great night in both your minds and one you would wish to repeat frequently. Consent and communication and go slowly in the beginning to reassure yourself that she's doing this because she enjoys and wants it.

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