chats and im vs. phone

chats and im vs. phone (Full Version)

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gypsygrl -> chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 11:28:11 AM)
Over the past 4 or 5 years, I've spent the better part of my free time instant messaging and sitting in chat rooms. I reached the point of saturation a month or so ago and decided I wont do it anymore. My fingers are tired, my wrists hurt, and I just cant stand the thought of being tied to my computer waiting for a slow-typer to respond. My thinking right now is, why do people im instead of talking on the phone? Is the phone inherantly more risky than instant messaging? I've been going over it in my mind, and aside from the possibility of someone getting a small bit of identifying information by reverse looking up my phone number, I can't come up with a good reason not to talk on the phone with someone instead of im'ing. Am I missing something?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 11:35:43 AM)
For me it's because I can do 5 discussions with 5 people at once, while eating, watching telly, yawning, coughing, playing with myself. etc. Phone means one on one, with a lot more focus and lot more limitations on what I can do so that the other person won't consider me rude. The tradeoff being that you get a fuller connection and a larger glimpse at the specific person you are talking with. Granted, I haven't IMed with someone for at least 6 months, but it's good if you're using the net to form initial contacts.

purelea2003 -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 11:36:23 AM)
That small bit of information is your last name and street address in some cases. Instant messaging allows you to speak with more than one person at a time. Personally, I just don't like the telephone.

toservez -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 11:38:03 AM)
I think at first a safety issue for me as I have found through trial and error that what people first write in profile and messages can many times not be what they are really like so I like a little bit of written stuff before I move to the phone, but even then it is more days then weeks. Now on the whole I agree 100% gypsygrl I have never understood the whole culture of IM and chatrooms. It always seem to me like it is some lifestyle choice. It is just not for me personally. I just enjoy other things then typing on a computer for hours in one sentence incriments, but to each their own. I have always wonder this both from a personal search and as an activity. I look forward to the responses.

meatcleaver -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 11:42:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: purelea2003 That small bit of information is your last name and street address in some cases. You could use a mobile phone or have a voice conversation through the internet if both parties have a good connection. Personally I never IM. I've only ever done it once and I won't do it again and there is just too much chance of misintepretation if you use humour.

EnglishDomNW -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 12:13:59 PM)
I feel a lot more comfortable talking on the phone, in Instant Messages it's too hard to convey emotions. It's also easy to lie in Instant Messages. Ask me for proof of that on my other name, 'MistresHotArse69' if you don't believe me [:D]

imtempting -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 12:24:38 PM)
I prefer instant message's as then if you don't get along with the person you can block them. I'd rather block someone and have the risk of getting my im acc hacked thnn have to change my ohone number.

gypsygrl -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 12:36:42 PM)
Most the time I've spent in chat rooms and im'ing I was playing a role playing game, and the point wasn't to really connect with people except to further game play. So, it never bothered me. But, from my experience, not only is misinterpretation really easy in im, but its also really hard to keep track of different people. They kind of blend together into one big uberperson and, no matter how long I talk to them, I get no sense for them. Besides the ease with which one can mislead another, and unless you're in an irc channel where you can see people's ip addresses or something (though even those can be fudged by the cybersophisticate) its hard to avoid the dupes. I see what your saying about multi-tasking, LuckyAlbatross, but being on the phone doesn't prevent that. I can talk and put away dishes, pick up the living room or cook dinner without much problem.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 12:59:57 PM)
Personally, I have a series of steps. I move from emails (which are completely anonymous) to IMs. IMs are far more suited for conversations, and I can get to know someone wel enough to see if I think we wil have enough to talk about on the phone or not. Once I think we wil actually have something to talk about, I'l talk on the phone. Since I have a cell, I dont worry to much about who has it. I dont run the risk of someone talking to anyone else in my house and accidentaly outting me (which was a major issue for me when I used the house phone and had people who werent aware of my lifestyle living with me). The chances of them getting enough information form my cell to cause problems is slim. And I have caller ID, so if I do not want to talk to someone at the time, I simply dont have to answer. The main reason I prefer IMs to the phone more often than not is becaue I also multitask. I depend on angels ability to multitask to seak to him every night. He and I talk while he does his homework, which makes scheduling slightly easier. On the phone, someone is less likely to be able to do two things at once. DV

jesskitty -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 1:30:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross For me it's because I can do 5 discussions with 5 people at once, while eating, watching telly, yawning, coughing, playing with myself. etc. Phone means one on one, with a lot more focus and lot more limitations on what I can do so that the other person won't consider me rude. exactly. it's more easier for me to multitask online than on the phone. typing here, while typing on 3 other ims is all easier than typing and talking at the same time. or talking and reading etc etc. another reason could be that it is cheaper than the phone. you get one flat rate for internet service, on the phone there is always that certain rate for day time usage. as well as you do not have to worry about out of country or out of your area usage rates. though there is a huge difference between the two. i truly did not realize how different instant messaging is than the phone until i started recentlying iming my sister since i am in college and she is still at home. complete shock occured and we both realized how weird it was. especially after living together for all that time. though the phone was abit different than r/t it was closer to how it usually is than the im.

toservez -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 1:55:08 PM)
I apologize if this hijacks the thread and I am not meaning to put anybody down as I think this has far more with me not understanding the IM culture, but is it not somewhat frowned manner wise to IM multiple people at once? Is it not like someone on the phone constantly interrupting you to take another call?

ToGiveDivine -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 1:57:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: toservez I apologize if this hijacks the thread and I am not meaning to put anybody down as I think this has far more with me not understanding the IM culture, but is it not somewhat frowned manner wise to IM multiple people at once? Is it not like someone on the phone constantly interrupting you to take another call? toservez, It has nothing to do with the technology, only the person. Bad behavior is bad behavior. Doing any of the above is impolite, disrespectful, and just bad manners.

gypsygrl -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 2:46:51 PM)
Right, toservez. When I im, I don't generally talk to more than one person, and when I do, it stresses me out. I think different people view it differently, though.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 3:02:18 PM)
I think it might just depend on the relationship that I want to develop with the person I am talking to. I start in IM, then if things are going well, move onto the phone and call them, blocking my number. I have also used the call system on the msngrs, and as long as you don't have dial-up, they seem to work pretty well. As far as talking to more than one, I do that a lot. I think if one can keep up with more than one conversation without anyone feeling like you are neglecting the one with them, it's okay. I don't have a problem with the person I am talking to doing the same thing. The time I see it needs to stop, is when I am talking to someone on IM and they take a looooooong time to answer back, then I will just tell them to msg me when they have the time, and we can talk again. I have ran into this on the phone also though, trying to talk to someone, and they are talking on im to someone else, you can hear them just typing away in the background, and they pause in their talks to you. I actually ended a decent relationship for that one, it will only happen so many times before I put a stop to it. After all, I probably could think of a million other things I should be doing also. Kasha

DiurnalVampire -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 3:15:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: toservez but is it not somewhat frowned manner wise to IM multiple people at once? Is it not like someone on the phone constantly interrupting you to take another call? Actually its almost assumed that you are usualy holding ore than one IM at a time, for most people. As long as you are not ignoring one for another, most of the time you cant even tel how many conversations someone is involved with. I can usualy easily handle 4-5 different people without a problem. The difference between that and being on another call is that you have time lapses on IMs. You arent speaking to someone constantly, unless they are an excelent typist. While you are waiting for someone to trply, you can move on to your other conversations, see what needs addressed and what doesnt. No perceptable difference in a conversation, and realy nothing much by way of lag time. On the phone, you have to ask one to hold while you adress another. On IMs you dont. I talk to many people on the phone. I have had to tell multiple IM partners that I had gotten a call, and that I would either be back shortly (depending on the caller) or I was leaving for the evening (if its Angel, since those are epicaly long calls). However, when I have several people on IM, often if there are to many, I'll just let everyone know I am a little swamped and i might be sow. Since I am usualy working on a project at the same time, it usualy isnt to much of a difference. The only time its considered rude, persay, is when you either cant kep your conversations straight and you are sending person 1s messages to person 2, or if you ignore one conversation in favor of someone else. But then again I equate that to talking to a group of friends at a bad. You can talk to everyone a th esame time, and often about different things, and as long as you dont mess them up or forget whom youve talked to and who is wating on an answer, you should be ok. DV

LaTigresse -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 3:24:55 PM)
OH hell I used to be able to have 4-5 chats going, watching tv, talking to someone about what was on tv.......a bazillion things at once...............WHEN I used IM chat thingies..

proudsub -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 3:54:49 PM)
quote: but is it not somewhat frowned manner wise to IM multiple people at once? Is it not like someone on the phone constantly interrupting you to take another call? I don't think it's frowned on unless maybe you are talking to your dominant and he/she wants your full attentioin. Don't you just love it when someone types to you something private meant for someone else LOL. Also i think a lot of IMing is going on without the spouse being aware, which is much harder to do on the phone. As for chat rooms, that is entirely different i think. There you can talk to several people at the same time, from all over the world, anonymously, on many topics. Those are people i would never talk to on the phone. I often chat at my game site with others playing the same game.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 3:58:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: toservez I apologize if this hijacks the thread and I am not meaning to put anybody down as I think this has far more with me not understanding the IM culture, but is it not somewhat frowned manner wise to IM multiple people at once? Is it not like someone on the phone constantly interrupting you to take another call? As long as you can keep the conversation going without them noticing you are distracted, it's not a problem. There shouldn't be an expectation of exclusivity in a chat environment unless you've specifically told them that it's a one-on-one. I type very fast- if I didn't have at least 3 windows going at once, I got bored waiting for the people to reply to me.

Kalira -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 4:23:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl Over the past 4 or 5 years, I've spent the better part of my free time instant messaging and sitting in chat rooms. I reached the point of saturation a month or so ago and decided I wont do it anymore. My fingers are tired, my wrists hurt, and I just cant stand the thought of being tied to my computer waiting for a slow-typer to respond. My thinking right now is, why do people im instead of talking on the phone? Is the phone inherantly more risky than instant messaging? I've been going over it in my mind, and aside from the possibility of someone getting a small bit of identifying information by reverse looking up my phone number, I can't come up with a good reason not to talk on the phone with someone instead of im'ing. Am I missing something? I have never been one who got alot out of chat rooms or Im's. I start talking to someone, I perfer to hear thier voice over just seeing them type some words. However, I have found that once phone contact is made, it is much easier for me to IM with someone, for the simple reason that I can now put a voice to the words that are being typed [:)] Also, since Master and I live in seperate states, Im'ing cuts down on our phone bill quite a bit [8D], though we still talk on the phone at least once a day.

LordBennett -> RE: chats and im vs. phone (10/30/2006 4:38:53 PM)
Drawback to multiple IM's is if I am trying to get one person interrested in me and then type the wrong thing to them or use the wrong name when referring to them in an IM. And yes it is easier to lie via IM and not know if the other is a slow typist or simply talking to numerous people at the same time and therefore not really interrested in what I have to say.

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