quote:

Interesting post.

I'll go out on a limb, and suggest it isn't just appropriate for Female Dominants, but also for female submissives, male dominants, male submissives, and everyone in between. Confidence in one's sexuality, security in one's desires, and open mindedness is a great formula to make a person attractive, not just to the opposite sex or dominance spectrum, but to all people, all across the board.

Stephan

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I'm not contesting what you are proposing but it does not address the issue I raised. There is something that is particular to Dominant women and that is the issue that I am interested in discussing with my fellow Dommes and those that understand us.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Rather, I am seen as a woman who is assertive of about her sexuality, is open-minded and knows what she wants. The feedback that I have gotten from these vanilla boys is that this is so very attractive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


The essence here is that Women are often dichotomised as Madonna/Whore (for the X-tians and other variations for others). Women not in touch with their sexuality are Madonnas (not to be confused with the pop sensation who has shown us just how in touch she is with hers!). Women who take charge of their sexuality are Whores. Of course many submissive women take charge of their sexuality. But then they hand it over to someone. Dominant women take charge of their sexuality as well as the sexuality of the men and women they dominate. It's like a double dose of whoredom or something. And that is the issue I was trying to raise with this post.

- LA

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare
My intention was hardly to dispute your statement - I catagorically agreed with everything you stated. I just simply suggested that the source of sexual confidence isn't a function of dominance, but rather a basic human quality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare
Insinuating that because I am neither a Domme nor a person who understands them doesn't make my comment more or less valid.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare
If you have a personal concern about my commentary, feel free to contact me off board to discuss the issue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

The essence here is that Women are often dichotomised as Madonna/Whore (for the X-tians and other variations for others). Women not in touch with their sexuality are Madonnas (not to be confused with the pop sensation who has shown us just how in touch she is with hers!). Women who take charge of their sexuality are Whores. Of course many submissive women take charge of their sexuality. But then they hand it over to someone. Dominant women take charge of their sexuality as well as the sexuality of the men and women they dominate. It's like a double dose of whoredom or something. And that is the issue I was trying to raise with this post.

- LA

I agree with you in most respects to your observation here. I find these polarizations to be even more distinct where I am living, where men aggressively seek 'Whores' six days a week, and spend one day a week with their Madonna, keeping the same Madonna for years at a time. A 30 year old acquaintence of mine is a prime example. He has told me he loves his girlfriend of four years and intends to marry her in a few years, but only wants to love her one day a week, and wishes the other six days he could spend with a hot girl for the night, weekend, etc. He spends a lot of money on his girlfriend, has a good relationship with the family of the woman, etc, but every time I see him, he is complaining about the time and effort she takes.

To be fair, this is a two way street. A woman here who is in the Madonna role here is usually devoted, well educated, and quite attractive. She often complains about the lack of time and attention she receives, but makes no real effort to change her situation. In the example of my acquaintence, she could just dump her boyfriend and find one better suited to her needs - but obviously this requires risks, and a great deal of disruption to her life.

As for the woman choosing the Whore role, I don't believe this such a simple matter because I don't think anyone sets out in life to be in this position. In reality, I think women who take charge of their sexuality aren't seen as whores so much, as they are seen as attractive and interesting. I know women in my life who, while not the most physically beautiful woman I've met, have amazing personalities and a great deal of confidence in themselves as women, both sexually, emotionally, and intellectually. They never lack attention from men, and often leave the more shallow women with the expensive clothes, hair, and makeup clueless as to how they do it.

In the end, just because a woman (or man) is dichotomised by others, doesn't mean they are obligated to the role.

Stephan

quote:

ORIGINAL: GentleLady

When I was growing up I was taught that if I enjoyed sex I was a whore/slut. That resulted in Me having some severe hangups about My sexuality because I enjoyed it. For many years I actively throttled all sexual responses in an attempt to fit into the role society had handed Me. It was such a relief to finally learn about the BDSM Lifetsyle. Not only was I able to fully acknowledge the fact that I was Dominant...it also meant that I could stop trying to fit the role of wife/submissive/passive/etc. At the start I had to literally give Myself permission to have orgasms and enjoy sex. Since then My sexuality has soared because I felt like I had been given permission to be sexual. Embracing My Dominance and sexuality has given Me a self-confidence that has affected all other areas of My life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GentleLady
On a personal level I have found that controlling the sexual experiences and releases of a male submissive reinforces My feelings of My own Feminity. I feel more Female because I can do these things...(if that makes any sense).

quote:

Kamikaze bottoming, *grunt*