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BDSM: Honored Dead - 10/31/2006 11:35:40 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		The past few days I've been reflecting on death as another year begins to come to its conclusion and I am missing my mentor as the anniversary of his passing rolls around. Himself is not here right now, and I'm strongly in need of hugging. (Hormones - ::sighs:: )Since I can't have that, I've decided to put up a memorial on my webpage to honor my mentor and others who have furthered the cause of BDSM and/or D/s via education so I am compiling a list of honorees and seek the help of this forum.

The format is going to be very simple - just some scrolling text under a general banner. I'll have two sections, the first will be those who have touched me directly and the second will be those who I may not have personally known, but who have touched others and helped enrich their lives via supporting BDSM education. (Perhaps starting organizations, writing books etc. which support education.)

If there is anyone here who would like to have someone listed, please drop me a note on the other side or add a post into this thread.

If you wish to have your name on there, I'll be wording it as follows:

XXXX honors the memory of YYYY

If you don't wish to have your name on there, but still want someone acknowledged, I'll be wording it as follows::

The memory of YYYY is honored.

I'll be happy to use screennames if desired or first names, but I'll only include full names of those who are well known and were 'out' before their death. Scene names are also acceptable.

This is just a small acknowledgment to say thank you to all the wonderful people who have touched my own life and accepted BDSM D/s as a valid choice for a way of living, but have left the flesh behind.

Celeste

edited to add - If you don't want someone on the site, please feel free to acknowledge anyone you like just on this thread as well, but let me know 'not' to put them on the site or I'll assume that's why you're posting here. Thanks.

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 10/31/2006 11:58:35 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 10/31/2006 5:41:08 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Hello A/all,

I had a friend once who I was extremely close to, who was dumped by her husband and father of one of her 3 children, switched teams (hooked up with a lesbian) while in College (in her 50s) working on her PhD in Sociology with emphasis on Gender Issues.  Our conversations were primarily via letters, which I still have, that spanned a number of years.  These coincided with my studies on Feminism and modern history in college.

It is hard to describe how much she affected my attitudes towards intolerance.  Her girlfriend was deaf, and was ostracized by other people in the deaf community for being with a hearing person.  She died of lung cancer from a life of smoking.  I shared her slide into death and donate blood platelets now remembering (I get all misty, it is not pleasant to watch) what she told me about chemo therapy destroying the bone marrow which makes platelets.  The only way she could eat the last few years of her life involved marijuana, which partially explains my extremely militant stance against marijuana laws, even though I have not smoked dope since I was a teenager.

I had another friend who was deeply religious (judeo christian) and gay of the bathhouse / anonymous sex with strangers persuasion.  We had long conversations about our lives and experiences.  No amount of ostracizing and intolerance by society or his religion could even compare to the amount of self-loathing he carried around because of his sexual orientation.  I suppose this explains my rather militant tolerance of other people's sexual preferences and peccadillos.  He was dealt a hand of cards for whatever reason, and he spent the time he was gifted with here fighting within himself for being the person he was.

Just me, could be wrong, but there ya go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 10/31/2006 7:45:41 PM   
MstrJohnJ


Posts: 82
Joined: 5/5/2006
Status: offline 		I looked at this thread for quite some time today and started thinking back to when I lived back on the east coast.
There was a very special lady out there who got me started in giving name, form, and practice to what I already I was.
She took me, as an student you might say, and taught me what I believe to be the art in dominance and submission. Even when I was new she treated me as an equal (just with less experience) because she said she saw dominance (and a gift for knots.. I have that story written down somewhere) in me.
And to this day I thank her for the almost 6 years I spent in her house
Before I moved to the midwest she fell ill.
Once night I received a call from her slave telling me that she had passed as a result of her illness.

so if you would add my thoughts to your list.
John honors the memory of Natasha and still thanks her for the gifts she left behind


(in reply to Sinergy)
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RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 10/31/2006 9:02:03 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Sinergy, thank you for your post. I truly appreciate you allowing me a glimpse.

MstrJohnJ, I have added Natasha to the page and wish to thank you as well.

The stories which you both told touched me.. and I'm grateful that others have been touched in their lives as I have been and are willing to share their memories of those whom they honor.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to MstrJohnJ)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 10/31/2006 10:37:42 PM   
MzMinx


Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		hugggs and warm thoughts to you Celeste

*soft smile* .... my Sir ....who I call my Mentor ... and who I have mentioned on this and other threads ...its always hard to sum up what made him special in a few words... he was humble and empathic ... although gruff at  times ...  and had an ability to help people think and feel ... he left this world almost 2 years ago... and is never far from my thoughts

He  gifted me with so much  .... he taught me to look for and touch  the magic in every moment ... he helped me  heal places within me I didnt even know  where hurt....and showed me that trust, respect and love where not just words .... He gave me a  belief in not only liveing ... but how to strive to be the best I can be  ... and even when I stumble I know I was truly loved .. mistakes and all ...

He wasnt just my Sir... He was well known and loved in the community here in melbourne and indeed in  the rest of australia ..His nick online and in the public scene  was SirB ... and mine in those days was spider_doll ...

We had many bdsm  gatherings over the years, educational.. social ... play and he gave  a lot of energy helping and guiding in real,  as well as much time on the australian online channels ... he never refused any one his time ....  even when some of us knew how tired and how deeply in pain he was.  Indeed he always strived to give back more than he ever took .... and his life although full of hardships and pain ... never dented his smile or his desire to help others.

He was always a teacher, a Mentor through out every part of his life .....but he had a special desire to  try to help people understand BDSM beyond the physical sensations ...  and  to be someone they could chat with, lean on  ... who would listen and be non judgemental ... and when it was right ... try to share his knowldege  and skills ....... 


although he always had a soft spot for a well rounded butt offered to his hand  *warm smile* ... and I know may who would say he had magical hands

I miss him .. I miss his magic ....   but mostly I miss his hugs ... He was a big man in all ways... physical  size, heart and spirit ... and he gave the best hugs *warm smile*

he will always stand in honour within my memory and indeed that of many others ..  

*soft warm smile* ....Spidey Honours the memory of  SirB ....  Hale to you My Sir and thank you ... your magic touches me still

thank you Celeste.... *warm smile* ....

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 10/31/2006 10:49:07 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		MzMinx,

That was pure poetry ... thank you so much.  It will be an honor and pleasure to add SirB. I wish I could have known him.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to MzMinx)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 10/31/2006 11:09:17 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I feel compelled to add my own honors. For someone who did a lot for me, as a person, as well as the community.
Becasue he was not "out" to his family, I will only use his first name.  Alister.
He and I had known one another very well for years before I was introduced into the lifestyle.  He and I were never personally involved, but we did go to a few lifestyle events and clubs when we lived together in Boston.  He and I had what our friends called "strays". We often had subs or slaves with us who were trying to get away from abusive situations.  Alister was very much the overprotective daddy type, which complimented me well. We were both protectors in our own rights.  We never dominated our strays, we simply let them recouperate and made sure the abusive influence was kept well at bay. It was a very fulfiling year, before I had to leave.  He was also active in charities and did a lot of volunteer work, often bringint the strays along with him so they could get a taste of being useful and constructive again.

Alister passed away about 4 months ago.  He never told me, nor any of his other friends, that he had cancer.  He did not want us to see him post-chemo. He was so sure that he was going to make a full recovery that he never as much as considered the idea that there was a reason to tel us there was ever anything wrong. Until a few days (literaly) before he passed away. Alister was still keeping up with his volunteering and taching people what it was like to be useful and appreciated.  I havent kept in touc with most of the strays we hadled over the years, and if by any wierd chance one sees this and recognizes the story, Id love to reconnect.
He will be sorely missed. By those in and out of the lifestyle.

Alana honors the memory of Alister
(for all of you who have always wondered what my real name was.  I dont share it often, but this is a special occasion) 


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 10/31/2006 11:41:35 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		DV,

I don't know if 'knowing' is better than not knowing when someone is ill.. I suppose one can say they can prepare.. but I don't think you can, not really. At least I wasn't able to do so. I don't know.. sometimes there just are no answers. Thank you so much for telling me of Alister. I have added him to the page along with the others here and those who reside still in my own heart.. worthy additions every one. Our community is poorer for their passing.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 11/1/2006 4:46:09 AM   
MzMinx


Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		*soft warm smile* Sirb would have found you delightful Celeste ... thank you for this .,.. I have been smiling all day with fond rememberences

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 11/1/2006 11:06:03 AM   
TheShadows


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline 		I would like to honor a friend of mine that passed about 2 years ago.  We weren't really, really close, but she was the nicest woman, and had a knack for making people laugh.  She wasn't a prominent figure in the community, but she gave of herself every day, working as an EMT.  She passed away suddenly, in her sleep, of unknown causes at 38, I believe.  Much too young, in any event.  She is dearly missed.

Harley Honors the Memory of FireCat

Great idea, Celeste.

MrsShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: BDSM: Honored Dead - 11/1/2006 11:22:16 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		MrsShadows,

Someone who gives of themselves every day.. that, to me, is a hero and I'm proud to add her.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to TheShadows)
Profile   Post #: 11
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