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Top Drop - 2/1/2005 4:30:27 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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Hi everyone,

I was talking to a friend yesterday and during our conversation, the term "Top Dropping" came up to help identify some feelings I was expressing. I had 2 amazing scenes in a timespan of less than 48 hours, and although these scenes went really well, I was experiencing some emotions I hadn't counted on.

Anyone have any experience with this?

Thanks,
Lily

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RE: Top Drop - 2/1/2005 5:52:44 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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M. Lily-

we call it topdrop or subdrop or I suppose switch drop- but it's really got little to do with this stuff. It is a normal human reaction to have a period of 'let down' after any sourt of peak experiance, especially when it is episodic.

There are a bazillion varibles- the duration and intensity of the experiance, the contrast to one's day to day living experiance anyone of the ususal mundane mood effectors- SAD, PMS, low blood suger, etc., and all the usual advice applies.

Take vitamins, take a long hot tub, sleep well, and eat right. Most of all, be ready for it, and know that it's just a process you will wind through, that the doubt and regrets ands and blues will pass soon. ANd always, always-

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Top Drop - 2/1/2005 5:22:10 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
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I tend to get a little "spacy" and then very tired, often becoming quite emotional at times. One thing we discussed in a local Domme group I belong to was how important it is for your sub to give back the aftercare that you give him, when you need it. We are often very busy with providing the aftercare right after a scene, and our reactions come later. It's really nice to have your sub there to give you a little TLC too. :-)

Be well,
Julie

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RE: Top Drop - 2/1/2005 8:00:00 PM

knkywch

Posts: 53
Joined: 7/23/2004
From: Cal-iFORN-eye-yay
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Greetings!

I've learned that top drop can be brought on by a number of things. If you aren't at peak energy when you go into a scene, that could bring on more of the drained feelings afterwards. If the bottom tends toward more negative feedback, that can bring on a hard top drop. If several things go wrong during the scene, or if it's a little "bumpier" than usual, that could trigger it as well. Top (or as Lawrence added, bottom or switch) drop doesn't have to be a usual occurance. The incidents can be minimized and symptoms reduced with high attention to self-care, understanding your aftercare needs and effectively communicating them, and choosing your play partners wisely.

Blessings,
kw

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RE: Top Drop - 2/1/2005 11:14:11 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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I am very susceptible to Domme Drop. I did a short MySpace blog on it even. I often find myself feeling down or outright depressed after a very good session. I sometimes judge how good the session was by how awful I feel two days after it. (My drop is pretty predictable.. 48 hours after scene and lasts about 12 to 24 hours.) I've learned to hold myself on a tight rein and NOT make any real decisions when I'm "dropping." I know that if I tell my sweetheart to go take a flying leap off a cliff, I'll regret it. It is very hard not to do sometimes though. The depression, the anger.. whatever you are feeling seems VERY real. It can be hard to believe that tomorrow or the day after you can be fine. I've had a bad case of drop last up to a week. That one pretty much ended the relationship to the person with whom I'd played. Even though he knew I was in the middle of bad drop, he pushed a relationship issue. I make sure that all my subs are aware that sometimes I just need to walk away from an issue rather than deal with it RIGHT THEN. This sub wanted right then, and got it... :-( Ah well, those things happen. Afterwards, I regretted the episode, but I was not willing to put myself back in the situation of someone who ignored a real problem I was having to get their own ego stroked.

I've read and tried all of the advice found on sites and given by friends. None of it helps. Certain types of scenes are going to make me drop. Period. The endorphin high eventually goes away. It is just the way it is for me.

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RE: Top Drop - 2/2/2005 4:21:30 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretDomme

One thing we discussed in a local Domme group I belong to was how important it is for your sub to give back the aftercare that you give him, when you need it. We are often very busy with providing the aftercare right after a scene, and our reactions come later. It's really nice to have your sub there to give you a little TLC too. :-)

Most usually I'm on a high after a scene and the length of time that it lasts is relative to how intense the scene was. I do however experience a drop afterwards and much like BeachMystress, the higher I get, the harder I fall.

This is one of the main reasons I most always play with people I know well and know will "stick around". I have to say I've been lucky in that I've generally had good girls and boys.

- LA

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RE: Top Drop - 2/2/2005 8:01:34 PM

AwnyDSwhip

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/1/2005
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Our local BDSM group covered this topic in passing when they did a workshop on aftercare. The workshop focused on aftercare for the submissive. Almost every Top I have met has mentioned it happening to them at some point in time. At the last Black Rose in November it hit me after a particularly intense scene. Fortunately, my partner and I had negotiated aftercare ahead of time. Bringing the idea of aftercare up for discussion before play is the best way for me to address the needs of my partner and myself.

I've also noticed that "drop" of any kind may be immediate or it can appear hours or days after a scene. Sometimes a simple phone call can make a big difference. Communication is very important.

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RE: Top Drop - 2/4/2005 3:50:05 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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I was trying to find a way to equate drop back to vanilla life and I may have found a rough analogy. Think of it in terms of coming back from a great vacation.. Disneyland or something FUN. You get back to everyday life and it is DULL. You no longer have that excitement to buoy you up. This is sort of what happens in drop.

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*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: Top Drop - 2/4/2005 7:39:05 PM

Darthbetta