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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Apoligize formally or just let it lay? (11/3/2006 7:47:19 AM)
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I’m going to go ahead and do some outing here, which I don’t think anyone will mind overly much. I think it’s VERY interesting all the different perspectives and “possibilities” that people have brought up and it shows me just how little we can give adequate advice without knowing personalities and details involved.
It turns out that *I* am the one that Doc felt the need to apologize to.
Let me first state that I truly had no idea of that when I read his post, responded, and even when I saw the email from him, I was confused and it took a few minutes to connect the name with the time in my life and respond appropriately.
But I’ll explain the background. This started a few years ago- early 2004. I was living in NJ and recently got involved with the man who is now my ex-master. I was going through a very difficult time of things for the first part of the year. At a bdsm club one night in NYC, my ex and I happened to bump into Doc and his wife and I learned that they had known eachother for a few years and enjoyed much fun together in the past.
The four of us actually had a great scene time together that night, and afterwards my ex encouraged me to be with him, let him help me out and offer support, as well as to hopefully keep a reciprocation open to be able to play with Doc’s wife freely.
While Doc did help out and get a start on things, he did also mismanage things badly and caused me a lot of grief, which my ex was not at all happy with. I went away from the situation thinking he was simply a total horndog who was very insecure and inept at dealing with women and found that “dominating” them was the only was he knew how to feel secure.
Knowing who I was and am- no he didn’t cause me lasting damage. However it could have happened, and certainly would have if it were someone with a different personality and perspective. I simply stopped communicating with him, with my ex’s blessing and found other ways to get things settled.
And my life moved on and here I am, happy and content and in fine shape in Austin, Texas with my partners.
I have to say that WITHOUT this thread, if I had simply received his apology out of the blue, I’d likely have just ignored it or pondered for a few days and perhaps sent a brusque reply. I’m not often in the mood to play someone’s “forgiveness fairy” just because they decide it’s time for it. But because of this thread and knowing he’d seriously thought about it- I felt more personal and involved and as if it was just closing a chapter. I’d say that only real lasting notion for me is that he was allowing an amazing spacious NYC apartment to go completely to waste with its décor, color and set up.
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