how to get a domme's attention (Full Version)

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desolation -> how to get a domme's attention (2/2/2005 3:46:35 AM)

So, here is the old question.
As already said in my introduction, I'm rather new to the lifestyle, and except for some things online, don't have any experience. I don't know any people who share my kink, either.
So, how do you get started in case you want a REAL, sensual relationship?
I mean, I'm not searching for a pro, I consider it as difficult to really connect in that case. I'm not the typical "whip me and I'm satisfied"-slave, I'm instead someone who wants to surrender to a special person I have some feelings for, and who would take my submission to her as a gift.
Even if I saw someone who's obviously dominant and appears interesting to me, I wouldn't really know how to approach her, or how to make myself interesting.
Not to speak of finding out if someone's dominant at all...

So, how did you all begin?



LadyAngelika -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/2/2005 4:31:39 AM)

How do you get anyone's attention?
You have to get the balance right of getting yourself noticed by putting your best foot forward and without resorting to jackass tactics.

What do you do to maintain someone's attention?
You keep them interested in engaging in a two way exchange (conversation) on topics that you have in common.

What do you do to get them to like you?
Treat yourself and them with respect and be courteous.

Oddly enough, these three tactics that work on most regular folks also works on these wild creatures called Dommes ;)

Seriously desolation, the boys that have a approached me with a friendly, sane, not-to-needy, not-to-sleazy and respectful tone are the ones I've taken the time to get acquainted with.

As for how you get a good intro letter, well Ms Eden & I put started a little something together a while back... 10 Steps For Making A Good First Impression


- LA



Verijaa -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/2/2005 9:11:21 AM)

Sounds like you need to see if there is anybody in the scene in your area. You can try a google search for BDSM, or check a number of BDSM bulletin boards such as this on line. Try the yellow pages. :)

I don't know where you get the idea that it is typical for a slave to get whipped and be satisfied. True, there are a lot of players out there who are really only interested in talking/thinking about kink, and have no intention of letting restraints anywhere near their bodies...but most real submissives want a lot more than some occasional kinky play. You aren't alone in that.

Good luck to you.



desolation -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/2/2005 11:40:14 AM)

@ Verijaa:
the "whipped me and I'm satisfied" was meant to express that I'm not in search of someone I can go to and get whipped (not that this would be bad, I mean, who likes that, ok). If I submit to a woman, she must be in a way special to me, if you know what I mean. I couldn't submit to any girl; I need to really care for her, to trust her, and, most important, I need to know she considers my submission as a gift, as sth. beautiful and special, and doesn't take it for granted.
It's a bit difficult to explain this, even in German... ;)

But thx to you two for your advice. I think I'll just have to approach people.




onceburned -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/2/2005 11:44:16 AM)

quote:

As for how you get a good intro letter, well Ms Eden & I put started a little something together a while back... 10 Steps For Making A Good First Impression


This is a terrific document! [:)]

I have been looking for something like this for some time. Thanks for writing it Lady Angelika and Ms. Eden - I think a lot of people will benefit from it.



ladyrestraint -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/2/2005 10:18:41 PM)

Yes, desolation, you will have to approach people.

They may approach you, but you cannot count on it just because they are dominant. Many Dommes have so many men approaching them they just sit back and pick amongst the many responses they get.

Furthermore, we are women. A lot of us like to be pursued...dominant, or not.



Goodmix -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/3/2005 4:44:49 AM)

Have you looked for a local group? "getting out there" & meeting like minded people in real time (i think) is the first step.



MistressDREAD -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/6/2005 3:24:25 AM)


First off desolation
learn what you are.
are you a submissive
or a slave? do you know
the differance in how
each one acts and if so
can you serve when asked
and discover how you think
about others.
Have you scanned the
profiles yet and if so found
someone whom would benifit
from your advances towards
them and gain what you desire?
Or is your desire all about who
you seek and how to serve Thier
interest and needs with out thought
to yours?
As a Domme I expect any slave
to ask permission to speak to Me
befor asking Me any thing in word so if
you were to write Me telling Me
your desires with out My asking for
such information I would brush you
off because only a submissive would
write Me in such a way and I only
seek slaves. That is just one sample
of the art of getting a Dommes attention
here online. I personally also like to
see a slave whom does follow the Dominant
upper case and subjudicate lower case
words while online and speaking to Me.
Its no different to Me then having the same
Sir and Ma,am respect that ANY submissive
would give Me when I enter the room,
and trust ME when I enter the room there is
NO doubt what Personality trait I carry,
and that should be the same online and
learning how to read into words and using
the upper and lower case to enphazise this
just makes the whole BDSM thing online easier.
Of course there are many whossegow whom
dont like such and this is always to be respected
if comming from the Ones you seek. Having
complete confidance in who and what you are
and then expressing such will gain the attention
of any Domme and if She has a interest will
persue you. Any time that I read a slaves words
here I go and check out their profile and see if
their interest stand up to that which I seek and
if so I contact them to see if they have a interest
in Me and My interests. So have a good definition
of what you seek and what you will bring to any
Dominant and that is both inside the rhelm of
BDSM as well as your life outside of such. Be
honest in what you seek, if its simply to pursue
your submissive desires online in word then be
plain of such and you will gain like minds to this
end however if it is real life servitude you seek
also be plaiin in this and you will gain those whom
seek the same. There is no shame in being either
or both or none. There are many here whom
allready are quite happy in their relationships and
simply come here to learn more or to make online
freinds whom are into a simaler Lifestyle. So you
see simply being here does not automatically
make you looking or available nor does it make
any of Us nessisarily into ALL of the Alternate
Lifestyles here or any at all as there are many
vanilla here to whom visit to learn about Us.
Take Me for sample: I noticed your post. Does
your profile fit that which I seek? No
you live in a different country from
Me and your smile is way to charming
and happy to be desolate so
your choice of name to Me
does not fit your true demeanor
and last but not least you seek
someone close to your own age
which I am quite far from now.
So you see desolate there are
Dommes that you have gained
Their attention to HOWEVER it
is you whom does not nessisaraly
fit into the Dommes that take a
look at you. Work on your confidance
of self some more desolate and
know that you are being noticed.
Just not by the perfect One for
your desires......... YET......JMPO



MistressDREAD -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/6/2005 3:34:13 AM)

quote:

I don't know any people who share my kink, either.


So then lets hook you up right now with some other folks whom share your kink.
What is it? you seem to have eluded as to what this kink is and this is not the time
to be shy about what thrills you. Soooooo speak up and tell boy! Open
up those lines of communication and comeradery!



BeachMystress -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/6/2005 9:11:15 AM)


Dread, The right justification looks good.. IMHO



MistressDREAD -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/6/2005 12:38:27 PM)

Why ThankYou Beach.
One day Ill find My true Font!!
and it will work with the right
side of My brain on that day.....LOL

That was Arriba Arriba LET 5
Im on Piranesi It BT 4 right now
tho. Here is My copy and paste line I
use. Yep Im a cheater! ~wink~ [;)]
quote:

[i.] [font.="Piranesi It BT"] [color.=#CC3366] [size.=5] [/.size] [/.color] [/.font] [/.i]



BeachMystress -> RE: how to get a domme's attention (2/6/2005 5:16:25 PM)

LOL, you're not the only one.. my line is simple.. color=#990099]font="Trebuchet MS"] I don't close my color or font, so it does my sig as well (lazy girl LOL)



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