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RE: punish first, explain later - 11/5/2006 2:53:59 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear sonny2000, Ladies and Gentlemen;

The question you posed, was if you(Hugs) met a submissive who orgasms from a good flogging, or whacking; and sends you a nice thank you not for the marks.

Answer would be yes but, it wasn't done in a punishment situation.

I don't give a misbehavior of a slave/submissive the 'pleasure' of getting what they want and orgasm from it. Pain puppies, are usually sent to the corner, hold a dime on the tip of the nose against a wet tile wall, squatting and the balls of their feet on something rough and gritty. I ignore them. The marks are invisible but, they will be implanted plainly in their mind.

Punishment does not have to be the use of corporal. It can be mental, passive physical and the playground for a creative sadist.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: punish first, explain later - 11/5/2006 3:11:39 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

The guy acted like a jerk and treated me like crap. I just wanted to know if punishing and refusing to give the reason first was common behavior among doms and have found from the input of most that it's not. Thanks everyone.

What would you be thinking right now if it WAS common behaviour for *doms?

Would probably become a domme myself so I didn't have to worry about it.

(in reply to agirl)

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Post #: 42

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/5/2006 5:01:08 PM

thisishis

Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Is it a common thing for a master to punish a sub and refuse to explain why until afterwords? It seems to me that without an explanation, a master could misunderstand a situation or action and the sub could end up being punished unjustly. Do es a sub have the right to an explanation before a punishment is carried out? Any thoughts on this?

i don't know how punishment works in the relationships of others. my Master usually makes certain i understand why i am being punished, prior to punishing me. All punishments, to date, that i've received have been warranted. He makes certain i understand why i am to be punished so that i will learn from the experience and not repeat the same mistakes again and again, or act out disobediently over and over again.
What a sub has right to or not, depends on the specific relationship ... IE: the agreements between those in the relationship, whatever was negotiated, etc ect (IE: In this relationship, i have the right to obey first and ask questions later. Anything else afforded me, is a priviledge extended to me by my Master ... period.).
i do see it being possible that a 'sub' could be punished unjustly if the dominant person of the eqaution doesn't have all of the details and facts.
It's not happened to me.

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Post #: 43

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/5/2006 5:09:39 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
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My owner has NEVER punished me without making me very aware of why I was being punished. Nor would I punish a submissive or slave in my collar without making them aware of why they where being punished.

Punishment is supposed to correct behavior, if you don't know what behavior is being corrected how can the punishment be effective?

Side Note: In my opinion punishment should NEVER be done out of anger or simply to tear down or hurt you.

< Message edited by nikaa -- 11/5/2006 5:10:01 PM >

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Post #: 44

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/5/2006 8:49:29 PM

SumterDom

Posts: 60
Joined: 1/29/2006
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akisha "And in my opinion, if He or She is waiting untill later to explain what was done wrong it probably means they need to to come up with something plausible"

Don't know how many times I've heard things very much like that. My thinking is that if I want to beat you etc then I don't need to make up some bullshit reason or excuse to do so. And on the same note...if mine wants to get a beating etc they are allowed to let their desires be known. Acting up to get "punished" will have just an opposite effect...more like being my footstool/coffee table for an extended period of time...anything except what shes wants.

I don't play being topped from the bottom very well! LOL!

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Post #: 45

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/6/2006 1:13:03 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I was only punished once but i have been displined a few times. Master will e tell me why i am being displined. He would want me to know what i did wrong. How can i correct my behavior i do not know what i did wrong?

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 46

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/6/2006 1:28:09 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
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SumterDom

I completely agree.

If he desires to hang me from the rafters and beat me for an hour that is totally up to Him. He doesn't need to "come up with a reason" Just has to say "Get your butt downstairs" *smiles*

Making up excuses to punish just breeds distrust of the Dominant. Another side effect is the sub starts being afraid to do anything and not trusting their own judgement because they never knows what's going to cause them to be punished.

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Post #: 47

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/6/2006 4:11:59 PM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
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I had to respond to this post, as after reading the replies I find myself bothered by the ease in which some portray as disgarding of their sub/slaves should they have infractions. I truely like to believe that with the time, energy and thought that goes in the selection process that there is an equal amount of time, energy and thought that goes into a negative occurance prior to a Dominant / Master disgards the sub/slave. Pardon my perhaps misinterpretation of jesters but submissives / slaves are not souly pieces of meat and do have minds that within are developed feelings, empathy, knowledge and error, etc.

I have listened to enough said Dominants that reap pleasure out of the ability to discipline and punish, their kink includes bratty subs. But then i wonder to what extent is the committment of the Dominant / Master that deems a 3 strike rule - 1 2 3 , your out. I personally would stay away from such dynamic, I am human and in such I make mistakes sometimes it does require more than 3 attempts to get it right, and sometimes it is just being off balance in life, but regardless we all make mistakes.

And then again perhaps I am not totally intouch with the realities of being a 247 submissive / slave. Sorry for the hijack on the thread, I was just abit bothered by some of the responses made.

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Post #: 48

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/6/2006 7:00:11 PM

SumterDom

Posts: 60
Joined: 1/29/2006
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As mentioned, a large reason for sitting them down and finding the real "why" is to determine if this is truly what they can not live without. Many play at being one form of submissive or another...just as dominants do. If disobediant is deliberate and repeated then they could be indicating that what they thought they want is not in reality what they do want. I wan't to know that. If they're sincere it will show. If they are not then they will fail...without being setup to fail. If repeated "failure" does occur then part of the "why" session may reveal other causes of disobediance...that may need medical attention. It is a part of this dominants responsibility to see issues are handle should they surface...and the "3-strike" format and why discussions can tell, both, a whole lot about the other, the relationship, and themselves.

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Post #: 49

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/6/2006 8:27:17 PM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
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i've been punished with no discussion of what i have done, but that is only after being collared to my current Owner/Master, however that being said He asks me afterwards if i know what it was i did or why i was punished.

in the past i've been asked if i knew why i was being punished, asked if i had anything to say about it and sometimes if i had a legitimate (sp) reason for why i behaved a certain way, said something i knew better than to say or dressed the way i wanted instead of how He wanted me to, my punishment would fall to the floor and not happen.

if my current Owner/Master punishes me and i feel it unjust then i ask to speak to Him afterwards about it, but He always asks me "Are you ok?, Will you be ok?" Usually He asks the last one only if He has to go to bed for the night to get up early the next day for work.

i tend to be really hard on myself after being punished for a few days because i don't like disappointing Him, and so any punishment He gives me not only do i learn from it, but it pales in comparison (ok i know that isn't spelled right ......lol) to any punishment i give myself (being real hard on myself).

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Post #: 50

RE: punish first, explain later - 11/8/2006 8:02:24 AM

iced05

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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before sub /slaves received punishment ..... master / mistress had confront the slaves boy or gurl what mistake their up to n slaves n subs have to be honest to avoid miss judgement ..........

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Post #: 51