Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (Full Version)

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johncw1 -> Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 10:39:21 AM)

Many people think is weird and crazy to think that someone (slaves or subs) can like the idea of being humiliated, nude daily in a collar and cuffs (like slaves through out history), submitted to a life of discipline, torture, humiliation, chasited, shaving, dressing in uniforms, feminization and be at the call of someone else who owns them as property. I love and like this life that I have chosen, of course for any sub or slave, been nude in a dungeon all day would be great but also it would be boring if you didn’t do anything and just hang or be in a cage. Being a slave today is about commitment and hard work helping your owner (s) to be better, live in a better way and release them from many tasks usually not the owners and more for subs or slaves. Discipline, punishment and things that make an owner feel pleasure are part of the training and a sub or slave knows them and accepts them as it is part of the life they have chosen or forced to chose.
I just don't understand why people would not accept us the way we are and call us weird or crazy. I also can't understand why this is a game for many and if we slaves, Masters and Mistresses are in a game or if there is something real about it, i ask because I read a lot of profiles were people ask for subs or slaves but they are not prepare to work for a relationship, they ask you to move quickly without learning about you or knowing you better. I hope i can start talking with the real BDSM society and not with the game players. Is there a BDSM society that understands? Is there a slavery life for thse who crave and accept their role as subs and want to be slaves? Can someone tell me if I am in the right group or web page' 
john



juliaoceania -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 10:46:18 AM)

quote:

I just don't understand why people would not accept us the way we are and call us weird or crazy.


Because people are judgmental, especially about things they do not understand or are fearful of. There are many things I think are weird and crazy, and for me they are... but I do not judge what others do

quote:

I hope i can start talking with the real BDSM society and not with the game players. Is there a BDSM society that understands? Is there a slavery life for thse who crave and accept their role as subs and want to be slaves? Can someone tell me if I am in the right group or web page' 



I think that many will ask what you mean by "real" here, and what a "game player" is and if you think that most slaves are caged all day.

I think that you should stay, read, contribute, and see if you like the crowd in these parts. Maybe you can contribute your views on what your slavery means to you.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 10:48:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: johncw1
I just don't understand why people would not accept us the way we are and call us weird or crazy.


you sound frustrated, but i cant imagine this dearth of equality is a foreign idea to you, where in society do you see anything different? who is accepted the way they are? Jocks?, Buddhists?, Horse thieves?...
 
every classification on any group is limiting and biased...its the nature of classification


quote:

I also can't understand why this is a game for many and if we slaves, Masters and Mistresses are in a game or if there is something real about it.


its a light hearted game to some, its a very serious game to others, and to some its so serious a game that they are unaware they are in a game at all.



losttreasure -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 11:08:25 AM)

If you are looking for a site or society where everyone agrees with your idea of what it means to be a sub or slave, I'm afraid you are in the wrong place.  If, instead, you are willing to accept that we each have our own thoughts and preferences on what it is that we enjoy, and understand that you may find others here who share your ideas, then welcome.



LadyEllen -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 11:15:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: johncw1

Many people think is weird and crazy to think that someone (slaves or subs) can like the idea of being humiliated, nude daily in a collar and cuffs (like slaves through out history), submitted to a life of discipline, torture, humiliation, chasited, shaving, dressing in uniforms, feminization and be at the call of someone else who owns them as property.

There are two issues here as to why society in general finds this difficult to handle.
 
First, there is the genuine horror that people feel, for the idea of slavery itself, for the idea of someone being abused in such a way. Long may this viewpoint prevail, although it does tend to confuse actual, non consensual slavery with consensual bdsm slavery, and also tends to be coloured by knowledge about actual slavery drawn from the most abusive epsisodes in history, which ignores that in many places throughout history, actual slaves were not badly treated at all, and were often influential figures in their societies.
 
Secondly, there is the Christian morality which has informed and still dominates our culture. A morality which says basically that eroticism itself is a bad thing - sexual activity is for the procreation of children to the greater glory of God, that sort of thing, and whilst to desire it is a natural weakness for mankind, it is not something to be enjoyed, but rather a temptation which should be resisted as far as possible, and if resistance is not possible then its only outlet should be in Christian marriage, which should be in love, but not have any brook with the fleshly temptations of lust. Given that viewpoint on reproductive sexual activity, society in general has a major problem in dealing with anything beyond that - not just bdsm, but homosexuality, transgender behaviour, fetishes etc. General society cannot understand how someone could willingly enter into consensual slavery for erotic purposes, as sex itself is dirty and slavery is wrong on top of that.

I love and like this life that I have chosen, of course for any sub or slave, been nude in a dungeon all day would be great but also it would be boring if you didn’t do anything and just hang or be in a cage. Being a slave today is about commitment and hard work helping your owner (s) to be better, live in a better way and release them from many tasks usually not the owners and more for subs or slaves. Discipline, punishment and things that make an owner feel pleasure are part of the training and a sub or slave knows them and accepts them as it is part of the life they have chosen or forced to chose.

Absolutely - apart from that last part "forced to choose"; what do you mean by that please? If I had an actual slave, then yes I could force them to do anything, but to me even a bdsm slave should not be forced to do anything - they should want to obey. Maybe I'm too soft, but it sort of takes the point away for me, if I have to force them to obey? I want a happy slave, happy to serve! I am also worried about the idea of a bdsm slaves being forced to choose consensual slavery - that makes no sense to me; it has to be a conscious and willing abdication of personal authority that makes a bdsm slave - a slave forced into such a life is an actual slave.

I just don't understand why people would not accept us the way we are and call us weird or crazy. I also can't understand why this is a game for many and if we slaves, Masters and Mistresses are in a game or if there is something real about it, i ask because I read a lot of profiles were people ask for subs or slaves but they are not prepare to work for a relationship, they ask you to move quickly without learning about you or knowing you better.

Yes; IMO those willing to take a person as a slave, just any person, based on their profile or on a few exchanges of mail, is not someone I'd be comfortable with to be honest. If I took a slave, I'd want to know them and as much about them as possible, because whatever the relationship, I'm going to have to live with them! And I believe whatever we might think, there has to be some sort of human relationship between owner and owned, for it to work. And in the end yes, this is all a game really for me; I am absolutely and resolutely against actual slavery, though I could easily own and use a willing slave under some consensually agreed arrangement that places responsibilities on both parties - something absent in real slavery. 

I hope i can start talking with the real BDSM society and not with the game players. Is there a BDSM society that understands? Is there a slavery life for thse who crave and accept their role as subs and want to be slaves? Can someone tell me if I am in the right group or web page' 
john




Lordandmaster -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 11:19:38 AM)

Because the way you stigmatize something you don't like in our society is to use phoney mental-health language.  In the seventeenth century, you would have said something about blasphemy or atheism.  Times change, but small-mindedness is a persistent feature of the human species.

quote:

ORIGINAL: johncw1

I just don't understand why people would not accept us the way we are and call us weird or crazy.



LadyHugs -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 11:56:26 AM)

Dear johncw1, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Lad, you are in the correct venue and list.  That said, it is an unfortunate truth, that you'll never find an absolutely 'gamer, player and or predator' free forum, format, group, organization, club, academy, tribe, BDSM support and education, convention or tea society.
 
The art of 'weeding' through the good talkers and such, is learned here and elsewhere.
 
As far as the 'humiliation' factor of walking about nude, in cuffs and collar, I don't find that in a M/s lifestyle and or D/s lifestyle -- humiliating.  In my mind's eye I see, a beautiful and natural human being in their most beautiful and natural state.  At first it might seem humiliating but, our creator has given individuals so many varieties of bodies, in so many shades of color, sizes and shapes, to me it just enhances my appreciation of a slave who is willing to do that service in the most precious of artful presentation in motion.
 
As a dominant, served many times and for many years; I always am entranced by the service of nude slaves.  Watching the human body in motion is just as pleasing as to see my horses, run, jump, buck, racing around at full speed, without any human touch, control or signs of human tampering.  The horses know I watch, as they delight in horse play and energy; they can halt in a heart beat, raise their head and pose-- look at me! look.  Then tear off and zoom around in their splended power, grace and run straight for you, as to mow you down, stop on a dime and lean over and nuzzle, with love and affection.
With human slaves, we have that power, strength, beauty, grace and affection, with the added bonus of communication and the other means to express it.  It makes me as a dominant blessed to own a slave.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



touchtaboo -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 12:27:58 PM)

Hello..-s-

I'm slightly curious to know why you are seeking such reassurances from a *community*..if you are indeed as happy in your servitude as you claim to be ..who cares what anyone else thinks?...surely your relationships and the in's and out's of it ..belong to you and your owner?....i would spend less time worrying about gaining acceptance from a venue that has proved it will either ferciously agree..or not..with any given opinion at a time...live your life..be happy ..don't worry about others..

taboo



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 12:48:12 PM)

We are often afraid of things we don't understand. Fear is often manifested as anger and intolerance.

Master Fire



nephandi -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 4:36:24 PM)

Life is a game, your asserts is your game pices, how will you play it? Yes to some BDSM is a game or a hobby, somthing to spice up their sex life, and that is okey, for others it is a serious life path witch is also okey. But for those on the outside looking in, BDSM, D/s and related topics can be considerd bizarre and frigtening, and it is human nature to hate what they fear. What man fear he will hate and what he hate he will try to destroy, it is a sad thing, but is is also a rule in the wonderful game of life.



LTRsubNW -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 4:38:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: johncw1

Many people think is weird and crazy to think that someone (slaves or subs) can like the idea of being humiliated, nude daily in a collar and cuffs (like slaves through out history), submitted to a life of discipline, torture, humiliation, chasited, shaving, dressing in uniforms, feminization and be at the call of someone else who owns them as property. I love and like this life that I have chosen, of course for any sub or slave, been nude in a dungeon all day would be great but also it would be boring if you didn’t do anything and just hang or be in a cage. Being a slave today is about commitment and hard work helping your owner (s) to be better, live in a better way and release them from many tasks usually not the owners and more for subs or slaves. Discipline, punishment and things that make an owner feel pleasure are part of the training and a sub or slave knows them and accepts them as it is part of the life they have chosen or forced to chose.
I just don't understand why people would not accept us the way we are and call us weird or crazy. I also can't understand why this is a game for many and if we slaves, Masters and Mistresses are in a game or if there is something real about it, i ask because I read a lot of profiles were people ask for subs or slaves but they are not prepare to work for a relationship, they ask you to move quickly without learning about you or knowing you better. I hope i can start talking with the real BDSM society and not with the game players. Is there a BDSM society that understands? Is there a slavery life for thse who crave and accept their role as subs and want to be slaves? Can someone tell me if I am in the right group or web page' 
john



(I actually don't understand the grammar or the spelling)



ownedgirlie -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/4/2006 9:12:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: johncw1

Many people think is weird and crazy to think that someone (slaves or subs) can like the idea of being humiliated, nude daily in a collar and cuffs (like slaves through out history), submitted to a life of discipline, torture, humiliation, chasited, shaving, dressing in uniforms, feminization and be at the call of someone else who owns them as property. I love and like this life that I have chosen, of course for any sub or slave, been nude in a dungeon all day would be great but also it would be boring if you didn’t do anything and just hang or be in a cage. Being a slave today is about commitment and hard work helping your owner (s) to be better, live in a better way and release them from many tasks usually not the owners and more for subs or slaves. Discipline, punishment and things that make an owner feel pleasure are part of the training and a sub or slave knows them and accepts them as it is part of the life they have chosen or forced to chose.

Whatever way I feel I may best serve my Master is secondary to the however he feels I would best serve him. If he prefers me in a cage all day, then that is the best way I can please him that day.  I do not consider anything I do for him boring.  If relegated to staying alone in a cage or closet or whatever, then I contemplate my slavery to him, I meditate on him, and I hang out in my mind which can be quite an entertaining place to be :)  I do not live with him but when with him I am always naked while indoors.

I understand your sentiment about wanting to do more for the Master.  I would love to do tons more than I am currently able, but I live according to how he dictates, and if that pleases him, then I would be wrong to complain about it.  I am free to suggest ways of serving and pleasing him, however, but it is up to him what I do.

quote:


I just don't understand why people would not accept us the way we are and call us weird or crazy. I also can't understand why this is a game for many and if we slaves, Masters and Mistresses are in a game or if there is something real about it, i ask because I read a lot of profiles were people ask for subs or slaves but they are not prepare to work for a relationship, they ask you to move quickly without learning about you or knowing you better. I hope i can start talking with the real BDSM society and not with the game players. Is there a BDSM society that understands? Is there a slavery life for thse who crave and accept their role as subs and want to be slaves? Can someone tell me if I am in the right group or web page' 
john


We live in a morally conflicted society.  Sexuality is taboo for many, and generally people feel much safer not discussing it, and keeping it tucked away in the bedroom.  Further, we live in a post-feminist movement society, and the idea of a woman submitting to a man is disagreeable to many "vanilla" women.  It is very difficult for some of my friends to understand why I am the way I am, but I do appreciate their efforts to accept it.  Still, I occasionally find myself in a conversation with one who tries to convince me that "You don't have to do that for him - just tell him no!"  I share very little details about my relationship with my Master as a result.



MsOpal -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/5/2006 7:54:15 AM)

This reminded me of something that happened to a friend last year when they had a need to ask some advice of a criminal attorney.  They needed to explain that they lived a "D/s life" and try to explain what that meant in Reader's Digest version.  Remember, this was a CRIMINAL attorney.  Their take on a Ds life?  He told her that is was "sick"!!!!!  This from a man who defends murders!



thetammyjo -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/5/2006 8:24:02 AM)

People label anything they are afraid of or don't understand as weird.

I've even had a few folks say to my face that I must be abusing Fox or must have brainwashed him if he thinks he's my slave. This has come from both vanillas and kinky people.

They foolishly tend to do this in front of him, I'm not sure why, and then I never get a word in edgewise cause he's all over them at that point.

Folks who get to know us though, vanilla or kinky, can see that whatever they think consensual slavery is, it is about honor, committment and hard work from everyone involved. One person who had accused me of being abusive in the past started hanging out with us more via munches and things and about a year later had the gall to call us "one of the cutest couples" she'd ever seen and a "great role model".

I think, johncw1, you could have left out all the "examples" in your OP though. Frankly I don't know that many folks who are owner-slave for long periods of time who do all that stuff all the time.



Archer -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/5/2006 8:29:49 AM)

You have 3 or 4 questions you seem to be struggling with all at once here. Maybe just for your personal peace of mind and ability to focus and center yourself it's time to find the one of them that matters most and work it out for yourself. They seem jumbled in your post and as such the post seems unfocused. Actually it seems very much the rant, which of course doesn't have to be focused as it is a rant and ment to get the energy out and thus lead to a more rational focus. But if you really are struggling with these things then perhapse a more focused effort on one at a time would be of use.




happypervert -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/5/2006 8:59:25 AM)

The single minded focus you describe of a "a life of discipline, torture, humiliation, chasited, shaving, dressing in uniforms, feminization and be at the call of someone else who owns them as property" does sound crazy to me. I simply can't understand someone who apparently has no interest in arts, sports, entertainment, socializing, gainful employment, literature, current events, hobbies, relatives, or anything else that normal folks do with their lives. As a matter of fact, what you described sounds more like a jerk-off fantasy to me, and I tend to think that folks who express such fantasies as the reality they want to live are just plain crazy, though perhaps not quite clinically so crazy they end up institutionalized or wandering the streets mumbling to themselves.

So there's an answer for you. Hey, it's your life and go live it the way you want. However, I suspect a lot of dominants will shy away from you because they'll also think you're living in some fantasy world, so your potential mates will be limited to those who are as crazy as you.

Good luck!



krikket -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/5/2006 9:17:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: johncw1
I hope i can start talking with the real BDSM society and not with the game players. Is there a BDSM society that understands? Is there a slavery life for these who crave and accept their role as subs and want to be slaves? Can someone tell me if I am in the right group or web page' 
john


You're in the right place as long as you can accept that many of those that participate here may well have different ideas and definitions about what sub/slave and Master/Dom means.  We're all different, and the best part is that here on CM, we (usually) appreciate and celebrate that difference, learn from each other, teach each other, and accept others for who and what they are.  i'm not really sure what you mean by the "real BDSM society" as we're all as real as you make us.  Yes, there are some fakes here as there are everywhere, but that's why we've been given a certain amount of intelligence, to separate the wheat from the shaft.  One other thing to remember, imho, is that often what you might consider "not real" is very real to another; it's not that it's not real (or wrong), it's just different. 

i wish you luck...

cheers
jimini



BDSM05478 -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/5/2006 10:33:36 AM)

To ownedgirlie and TammyJo Ma'am (respectively) I am SO relieved to hear that there are people in your circle of friends and aquiantences, that try to convice Y/you that what Y/you are doing/ being "subjected" to, think is an abusive relationship. I know that sounds odd but my own mother, who btw is into bondage, accused Daddy of being to controling and brainwashing me into loving and serving Him. One friend of mine just can not wrap her mind around how i can be so happy in this life and had the gall to say "I thought you were stronger than that, to let a man control you" and try to explain to me that i was being abused but not aware of it...... of course i had to express my judgement that being a shrewish, bossy, broad that nueters and underminds her man, cutting them down and treating them as if they didn't matter, really seemed to work for her because she was so happy in her intimate relationships. I just couldn't believe that there are some people that try to tell you what kind of relationship you are in. what nerve! I am in this because I WANT it, and as i tell them i'd like it even more controling but with the unmentionables around, it just doesn't look right for mommy to be eating her dinner out of her dog bowls from the floor lol
Just wanted to share that really long babble, which i seem to do alot [:)]



agirl -> RE: Why is it that people doesn't understand the commitment slaves have when serving its owners? (11/5/2006 11:19:38 AM)

I'd say firstly that you're not *forced to choose* any way of living.

Secondly, I'm sure there are people that CAN understand your desire to live the way you have spelt out in your post and also your profile.  If you spend some time around here I'm sure you'll find a few kindred spirits. (Not me though, I'm afraid) I'm assuming that by *people* you mean the population in general.......with reference to that , I think it will be a long time coming, if ever.

It doesn't make for peace of mind to fret too much about other people's ideas or judgements on your choice of living style. If you find what you like and it pleases you, just live it. You can be judged for pretty much anything regardless of bdsm.........life is a lot easier when you can take that for exactly what it is.

Regards, agirl






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