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ExtremeOwnerIL -> RE: Unable to communicate (11/7/2006 6:52:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MasterKalif
Learning to read anyone's mind, esp a stranger, just isn't a viable alternative.
Focus.
Agreed. However, using empathy and listening to the inner voice (no, not those voices, the other ones...) can be extremely helpful, especially in person.
To the OP - that feeling can go both ways, believe it or not. There have been some situations where I've felt the pressure of ensuring a good approach, and also feeling like a bundle of live wires inside.
I've experienced some of what you describe with my girl - it took patience, a lot of empathy/noverbal communication before she could open up and really talk to me without it being a fishing expedition. I will say it helped when she told me this was how she was - it enabled me to understand that she needed my help.
It may be useful for you, or not - but something I've learned from martial arts for nerves is to close my eyes, take seven breaths, deep, while feeling my "center" (usually around the stomach) and imagine what I want to happen. The calming effect while supplying oxygen to the brain is usually quite good for me to clear and calm myself.
Regards,
EO
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