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I think my sub has an online dom - 11/4/2006 1:16:35 PM   
SHEmiss


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/4/2006
Status: offline 		I just recently started seeing a sub, things have been happening that lead me to believe he has an online dom that is conflicting with his obedience to me. I am a fledgling goddess trying to find my way....what is the appropriate way to handle this situation? Should I cut him loose?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/4/2006 1:26:40 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		First thing to do is to tel him that if he is to be yours, he has got to cut off contact with any online Dom/me that might be anything more than simply chat partners.  You have to be the only one giving him orders. It is possible that he was talking with someone online who predated you, and therefore MY first action would be togive him the chance to stop speaking to the other influence.  If he refuses, or if things do not change, then yes, I would cut him loose.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SHEmiss)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/4/2006 1:32:48 PM   
SHEmiss


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/4/2006
Status: offline 		thanks dv

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/4/2006 6:07:46 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Doesn't it depend on how recently you started seeing him? If it's been once for coffee, then you really can't demand total and immediate submission.

But talk to him about this. Explain that he can't serve two people. If you're sure you want him, then it's appropriate to issue an ultimatum. If you think you're not very compatible, then it's unkind to insist he drops the other one just before you plan to drop him.

(in reply to SHEmiss)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/4/2006 8:10:38 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I know I am a slave but have been in a similiar situation reversed. I would confront him with it and tell him he needs to make a choice. If he doesn't like that then cutting him loose might be a good thing. For me its a trust thing.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to SHEmiss)
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RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/4/2006 8:54:19 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		You should probably find out for sure first.  Communicate.  Then you will have a better foundation for discussion and you'll be able to make your choice accordingly.  What rules have you established for the relationship?  Have they been clearly communicated and agreed upon?  How long have you been together?  What makes you think he has one? 

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/5/2006 3:04:55 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greeetings
 
yes

(in reply to SHEmiss)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/5/2006 11:36:00 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

You should probably find out for sure first.  Communicate. 


I agree. If there is a need to end the relationship, it would be best to make sure there is a legitimate reason rather than a suspicion. Also, this discussion will help establish whether you each see the relationship to be similarly exclusive.

In my opinion, this conversation will be best approached with a question about whether he has any other partners, or from what leads you to have the concerns that you do. For instance, if his inability to obey is what leads you to think he has another partner, I think it would be best to focus on this inability to obey and probe why this inability is there. I think this approach will be better than stating that you suspect he has an online domme.

My two cents.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 11/5/2006 11:56:27 AM >

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/5/2006 11:40:39 AM   
Mistresscarmen1


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Ask the sub then punish him. IF you have not collared him I think you should not care!! There are plenty more than a cheating worm you can have at you beck and call !!

(in reply to SHEmiss)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/5/2006 11:44:09 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Perhaps the day finds me a bit waspish, but the question, and the situation in general, strikes me as a bit Jerry Springer.

My sour commentary,
MSS

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to Mistresscarmen1)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/6/2006 9:54:18 PM   
SHEmiss


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/4/2006
Status: offline 		Your comments really got me thinking...especially yours MSS. Being new to this, I find myself not knowing what to expect...which can lead to a little paranoia. As a person who feels at times like an attracter to Jerry Springer type situations(I've joked many times that between me, my immediate and extended family we could book a whole month's worth of shows :)), I tend to sometimes look for these types things as a self defense mechanism. I've just had some weirdness in the past with boys and the internet...I realize that I really have nothing to worry about.Thanks for the wake up call.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/6/2006 10:05:56 PM   
RazorJAK


Posts: 821
Joined: 8/5/2006
From: Manistee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SHEmiss
I realize that I really have nothing to worry about.Thanks for the wake up call.


There is a fair number of fine ladies here who are QUITE GOOD at giving people the virtual dopeslap upside the head in order to make the brain engage again. 


_____________________________

"Are all men from Michigan such loud-mouthed braggarts?"
"Just me baby. Just me."
~ Evil Dead - the musical ~

(in reply to SHEmiss)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/6/2006 10:12:13 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		**blinks innocently**
Sometimes, the brain backfires.  SOMEONE has to knock it back into alignment

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to RazorJAK)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I think my sub has an online dom - 11/6/2006 10:23:52 PM   
RazorJAK


Posts: 821
Joined: 8/5/2006
From: Manistee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

**blinks innocently**
Sometimes, the brain backfires.  SOMEONE has to knock it back into alignment

DV


Did I imply that anything else may be the case?  :-D


_____________________________

"Are all men from Michigan such loud-mouthed braggarts?"
"Just me baby. Just me."
~ Evil Dead - the musical ~

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 14
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