RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one

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RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one - 2/3/2005 12:35:29 PM

darkinshadows

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Joined: 6/2/2004
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quote:

that this was something that wasn't limited to bikers and fetishists

It's not????????? *squeals.............*... I was misinformed???? *faints*

Greetings knkywch and welcome!

Angel came into the Ls many years ago... and counting on my fingers and toes it counts for twenty yrs. I have flitted in and out and thouroughly enjoyed every single moment. Every mistake, every triumph, ever heartbreak, every tear... goodtimes and bad... highs and lows. I have made some fantastic friends and learnt so much from amazingly humble and wise (and not so humble!) people...

I wouldn't change, for the WORLD.

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RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one - 2/3/2005 2:06:16 PM

GrandpaLash

Posts: 133
Joined: 1/8/2005
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I'd always had fantasies, but I imagine the look on my face one night in 1978 when my mistress (as in not my steady GF) said, 'That's a lovely big belt you have Phillip, hit me with it please.'

So I did. And she siad, 'No, fucking HIT me.' LOL. So I did. And I loved the next 18 months with her. But at that time I was also becoming a very feminist male, and I swallowed the line that this nwas abuse and oppression of women, so I repressed my needs until the mid 90s, then started to fantasise again.

It was the net that taught me that there were many others who shared my desires, and also convinced me that it is not a gender issue at all, it is a psycho-sexual issue. From that moment I have not looked back.

Master Phillip (Grandpa Lash)

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RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one - 2/4/2005 7:58:27 PM

realophelia

Posts: 168
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quote:

I'm curious to know folks' experiences coming into the realms of erotic power exchange. How did you cross into this area of the world?

I attempted to introduce BDSM into a couple of vanilla relationships (with not very good results). Eventually, I met someone who responded favorably.

~Ophelia

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RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one - 2/9/2005 2:49:28 PM

sub4hire

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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i was enjoying this thread. So thanks to mod one I went and got my responses back.

For me it was none of the above. I was doing research for a class I was taking in sexual dysfunction. Read about the lifestyle. Realized where I fit in. I had the same dysfunction.
Anyway, took a good long hard look at my life for several year's.
Never did play, it was more mental for me. D/s.

When I was 20 and living in Texas. First time I lived out of state away from my parents. I met my Dom. About a year into our relationship I played for the first time. Didn't know they had munches back then. While I did know a few couples within the lifestyle. Nothing organized.

Anyway, ten year's later as I asked for release I found out there was a semi-organized scene. Decided to go to a munch with a friend and the rest is history.

Then knky’s response

Hi Gloria:

So, when you met your Dom, was he identified as such before you actually played approximately a year later? Or, was it that you happened to meet this man and later found out he was compatible with regard to the erotic power exchange and then became your Dom? It sounds to me like your first "live" contact was the one-on-one with him and your first knowledge/understanding of the lifestyle was through academia. Am I understanding correctly?

Sincerely,
kw

And mine once more.

When I met him I knew he had Dominant qualities. I already knew I identified with the submissive side of things. I was trying to change who I was for many year's. My brothers and sisters were much older than I was. All submissive, and all married to abuser's.
I really didn't want to follow the path I was born into.
When I met him, I guess I finally let my guard down to be who I was. He was loving instead of abusive. So, it just progressed naturally. As far as BDSM goes, the kinky sex part. Well we experimented with rope. Most of the population of the US has explored bondage at some point. For some of us it caught on. For other's it didn't and they just don't do it now.
The percentage is quite high at that. I'm pretty sure in the 80 something percentile.

Anyway, once we realized we liked bondage then we were re-born so to speak. It went on from there. After talking to a lot of people. We met friends. I had already known some M/s couples from my research. Just seemed like a natural progression.

I've been with my current dom almost 6 year's. If I were alone and seeking. I think the play aspect would definately be prevalent but the mental connection would have to match perfectly for me to even consider someone. I mean, we can find play partners anywhere.
Yes, through school. I probably should clarify myself on my first statement. I was taking a psychology class on sexual dysfunction.

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RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one - 2/9/2005 9:07:04 PM

Ojedieu

Posts: 142
Joined: 1/17/2005
From: Michigan
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Like so many others who have already posted their stories here, I was drawn to BDSM at a very young age. I was seven and I guess a natural switch even then. I drew kinky pictures then of people in cages (I frequently fantasized about being in one) and men on penis leashes (something I'd never seen or heard of before -- just seemed a natural way to control a man). I wasn't really sure what was supposed to happen *after* the cages and leashes and being admired while naked and locked up. It seemed like it should be something, but I just didn't know what exactly. At that point the cages, leashes and nakedness was the main fascination anyway.

I'd frequently pretend I had been abducted and was being shipped to a harem somewhere where I would be a slave but treasured and admired at the same time. I'd also play with dripping candle wax on my nipples (funny how we all seem wired to do some of the same things before even knowing others out there did it too, isn't it?), and of course clothespins.

I really wish I could remember the name of this movie I saw around that time which I credit with cementing the idea in my little brain. It was about a guy that was trying to take over the world by getting an army of beautiful women to drop pills into mens' drinks that caused them to hiccup 100 times then blow up. -- Anyway -- there was one scene in that movie where he had a woman naked and secured to a table by 3 (strategically placed) metal straps running across her body (ala Frankenstein movies). I soooo wanted to be her and to have that table!

Wow, I'm rambling, sorry 'bout that. Skip to the chase:

I didn't get to indulge at all til I was 15 (still no sex, just a lot of pinning my arms down while we were making out) and at 17 started experimenting with light bondage (rope, belts, neckties as restraints, etc.) and sex. At 19 I met the guy I eventually married and he enjoys my kinky side, even though he's into it more for the visual than the mental aspects. In the short time between those ages, I did date one or two 'nillas. I had one tell me I was sick for even asking to be tied up -- good thing I hadn't requested more. The others were just well...boring.

The hubby and I have explored many different avenues of BDSM over the years as just a couple. Slowly we looked at stuff that was popping up online, but never liked the chatroom stuff. Our first meeting with our local scene was about 10 years ago via a college munch group. Since then we've kind of gone in waves as far as our participation locally. Every once in a while we just like to retreat, take a year or two off from the local scene and just focus on us.

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RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one - 2/10/2005 8:58:38 AM

MidnightWriter

Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
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Long story - well, it took a while. I got into this in stages - almost like a too-hot bath.

First, it was occasional kinky sex - playing backgammon or cribbage, with the "loser" having to "suffer" being tied up, or serve for 15 minutes at the command of the winner. (Gawd, she played poorly - and I was clueless enough to not realize it was intentional.)

Years later, I met and married a woman, and we tried that once. Once. She lost and got tied up, and came about a gazillion times, and refused to do that ever again - she couldn't reconcile that reaction with her feminism. We split up, for reasons that had nothing to do with this.

My next lover was more than mildly kinky - she wanted domination and spanking, and made no bones about it. I had a helluva time reconciling my egalitarian philosophy with dominance, but she stuck with me while I explored and learned. Then she was sexually assaulted, which I interrupted. The guy committing the assault went to the ER, I went to jail, she went on to a new lover.

Out of jail, knew I'd never find another lover who was into what I now craved, and resolved to get along without d/s. But then I tripped across Usenet, and subscribed to alt.sex.bondage on a whim.

Within a year, there was a private munch group in the area, and I was (due largely to reading a.s.b daily) one of the teacher-types. A few years later, I was running a public munch group and playparties.

Just lucky, I guess.

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RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one - 2/10/2005 1:25:33 PM

fencerpet19

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Joined: 2/7/2005
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I just got into all this last year, but knew from the start that it was for me. There was a teacher who I sort of had a crush on, and I could tell He thought I was hot too... we'd occasionally go out for coffee or lunch, but mainly just chatted online.

During one such conversation we were talking about sex, and He mentioned a couple of really kinky things along with some acronyms (D/s, BDSM, etc.) that I didn't know. So when I went online to figure out what they meant, I was completely blown away at the fact that TONS of other people out there share my fantasies, including Him.

A few conversations later we both basically admitted that we liked eachother and started fooling around. We began with less kinky stuff, but soon I was on my knees begging for more. I can't imagine a vanilla lifestyle ever again! Thank you Master for showing me the light!

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RE: Your intro: community vs. one-on-one - 2/10/2005 1:49:53 PM

knkywch

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Joined: 7/23/2004
From: Cal-iFORN-eye-yay
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Gloria, you rock!

Thank you (and miraculous mod one!) for doing whatever you had to do to get your responses back. While I got to read your first response, but I didn't get to see the second one before the berserk time warp thing happened. Very cool to retrieve it!!

In gratitude for the great sharing on this thread...

kw

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