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SweetDommes -> RE: Presenting a Challenge ... (11/8/2006 11:23:20 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Celeste43
quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
quote:
ORIGINAL: Celeste43
Some people get off wildly on wrestling and take down scenes. If you don't, then you aren't compatible. Wish him good luck and keep on looking. The fact that he's into something you aren't doesn't make either of you necessarily wrong, just incompatible.
There is a huge difference between doing it for a scene or two and doing it all the time. The profiles that I have seen have a strong implication that this kind of behavior (wrestling, taking down, forcing) would be required on a daily basis to earn the submission of the boy writing the profile.
I would rather earn the boy's submission through compatablility and mutual respect and care. If I have to re-earn that submission daily, or even weekly, it would be a waste of time on all sides. I would feel used (for that leather wearing, whip weilding fantasy that they seem to have), and I would be miserable. As TammyJo said, I do this for fun and relaxation - that kind of relationship is not relaxing or fun, and would probably quickly degenerate into being abusive.
Wasn't arguing. Just seems that so often when people get offers from someone they aren't compatible with, they seem to label the other person as bad as opposed to just saying, "Sorry, don't think we're looking for the same things". And that I don't get. It would be like labeling someone who preferred the Mexican restaurant to the Chinese one as bad when it isn't a moral imperative it's just a matter of taste.
I guess I'm just curious as to why you don't simply write back that you aren't interested in taming anyone but you wish them good luck as opposed to some of the name calling that gets done.
Who said that I was messaged by people with this in their profile?
I saw multiple profiles in a row that had this attitude, and I was curious as to if I was the only one who saw it as undesireable. Honestly, I'm hoping that some of the submissives who are on the site and lurk over here (and I know that there are a lot who do) will read this and consider how their profile comes across to Dominants. The general consensus is that it's not an attitude that they want in their submissive (with an exeption or two) - and all of the submissives out there wondering why they can't find someone "dominant enough" to "tame them" need to know that they are turning most potential Dominants off by their attitude.
Oh, and I didn't do any namecalling. When we get messaged by someone with that kind of profile, I do reply back that we aren't interested - which typically results in said "submissive" flaming me and telling me that we're not really Dominant and wouldn't be able to handle them anyway. Kind of leaves a sour taste in my mouth, but I still always reply to the first e-mail in the same way - they either get a "sorry, not interested, but thanks" message, or a "you need to read the profile more carefully" message, just like anyone without that attitude who messages me (although, without that attitude, there is at least the possiblity of a "hey, let's chat" reply ... lol).
I was simply curious as to how others perceive submissives who have this kind of profile - I have found that I'm not alone in my estimation that having that attitude is not desireable. I certainly hope that at least one of the submissives with a profile described will see this and learn from it. If they are truly wanting to find someone, they need to know how they are coming across to people who read their profile - someone who says that they are not a doormat, that they only give their submission to someone who deserves/earns it, etc. gives a much better impression than someone who says "I must be tamed, no one is dominant enough for my submission" (or worse, "no one is dominate enough" *shudder). I would guess that at least 1/2 of the ones with such a profile truly don't know that's how they are being perceived, and truly don't intend to come across that way. If no one ever tells them, how will they know?
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