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songbird26 -> RE: ? about Trust. (2/5/2005 5:35:55 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: silksoul4u
What i find sad is there are subs who will consider a man her master, and trust that man enough to let him tied them up and make them completely vulerable and helpless....yet they wont trust them with their material things like money!!
I trust my Master with everything. Personally, for me, if i cant trust a man with literally everything, if i hold back with anything, then he isnt going to be my master.
lisa
*proud 24/7 slave to silksMaster
Money can do crazy things to people. I wonder how many subs have thrown themselves into D/S relationships, with delight and earnestness and stars in their eyes and a complete lack of basic good sense, and have found themselves wiped out financially afterwards? Many people who would never dream of striking/harming/damaging a person's body won't think twice before cleaning out their bank accounts.
Which is not to say that people aren't ever to be trusted. Just that the step of sharing financial information, personal passwords, etc. should not be taken lightly, and should only be considered in a long-term, committed, and time-tested relationship (ANY relationship, I don't care if it's the palest of vanilla or the kinkiest of kink). Even then it might be a mistake, but hell, you can't be cynical all the time. *grin* When I reach the point of permanent committment--and yes, I mean marriage, the point at which most people merge bank accounts and take official responsibility for each others' finances, etc.--then I will consider it. And frankly, if my dominant wants to know what I'm doing on line he's more than welcome to read my gay boy-on-boy erotic fiction. I'm not hiding anything. But I don't know that he'd be all that interested.
Also (and I'm speaking on supposition, here, since I've never been in a relationship with a dominant that even approached this level of trust), I don't know that I would ever give anyone my email passwords and such. Not because I'd have anything to hide, and in fact would happily SHOW him any email he was curious about. But because--and maybe here's a difference in those wacky sub/slave definitions--I value my identity as an individual very highly, and as such will maintain friendships and correspondences that are not in any way related to my master. And maybe my vanilla friends might not want my kinky dominant reading their latest adventures with that persistent yeast infection, or the like. It doesn't have anything to do with respect or trust, but DOES have to do with consideration of the sensibilities and feelings of others not in the relationship.
Basically, the upshot is, "trust in god, but keep your gunpowder dry." Don't let anyone convince you to be an idiot by shouting "YOU MUST TRUST BLINDLY OR YOU ARE A BAD SUB!" at you, and don't let that nice deerskin flogger knock the brains out of your head. But keep hope alive, because the good ones DO exist and are worth waiting for and trusting in. And if you're lucky enough to have already found one of those good trustworthy ones? That is truly and genuinely wonderful. :)
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