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Lawrence111 -> RE: Deleted unread (2/19/2005 8:26:01 PM)
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"I would think there are a lot of reasons. They looked at the profile of the person who sent the email and either decided the person lives too far away, or just not compatable from what their profiles says. Granted, they havent opened the email to see if it's just to say and, maybe offer advice, or make a friend, but those are just my guesses to some reasons."
I am glad someone brought this up. I hate the deleted-unread "feature"
First of all, I didn't think someone would take the time to look at the profile before reading or deleting the mail. Would that not be several extra steps (where clicking on the name of the user who sent you the mail brings up the message and not the sender's profile, and where if you want to review the profile, you must leave the mail section, return to the profiles section, type in the user's name, then hit return in order to look it up) ?
I would like to add that from the perspective of someone who does respond to profiles, when I write to someone it's because I think I might have common interests with them. I accept that I could be wrong, that their opinion does not concur with mine, and that's fine.
To clarify, I don't usually send off quick messages: Sometime it is just a short note to write, "Hello I used to live in your city and did you know that GROUP-XYZ has a munch on the first Tuesday of the month at Restaurant ZED? Hope this helps you."
Most often when I do write, I take time and effort to speak to what the person has said: I copy and paste what they say in their profile, comment by comment, then speak to how I feel about each individual statement. I do this (1) to show my interest in *them* vs. my interest in ONLY their photo, for example, and (2) to outline what I feel are common thoughts and interests.
After this time and effort, it's very frustrating to have the message deleted unread. "Damn, they didn't take 10 seconds to even look at what I worked at .... " I recall some folks writing to tell me that they agreed with my Journal entry about this, so I know I am not alone.
If the fact is that people actually review my profile, and judge me on that (vs. my thoughts on how what they said spoke to me), then OK, I suppose I can accept that. But in a polite and civil world, it would be nice if someone took a minute ... just a minute ... to see if I am right or wrong in what I wrote to them. If someone reads and never replies, that's OK: at least they may have seen what I worked at, and they simply do not agree. But the "deleted unread" message... to me is rude, feels like a dismissal and gets frustrating, especially when you have done your best to be sincere and communicative..
I suppose this could be seen as whining, and if so, feel free to sue me. Thanks for the forum to express,
Lawrence
Ithaca, NY
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