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creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 9:03:31 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		Ok i have had now one too many (which means two) Doms ask me to tell them my dream scene. i am witty and creative at some points, but both times it has left me feeling stupid. i really don't have enough knowledge in scenes to know what i would like to try. Is there any place where i can get ideas? Learn more about the S/M part of this lifestyle?
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 9:06:48 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Well, I have two thoughts.

1.  The doms who are asking you this are lazy muffuckers.

2.  I'll bet dollars to donuts you've fantasized about specific situations even if you're relatively inexperienced and know that there must be other things out in the world that you've never seen.  Telling someone about the fantasies you've had is a lot more informative--because it says something about YOU--than giving them a list of a few activities you've heard of and might like to try one day.

(in reply to CrazyC)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 9:24:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		First off, if a dom is asking you that question at any point before a second offline date, he's not long term dom potential.

Secondly, even at the 4 month living in with two partners point of my life, I couldn't just recite a scene out like that.  I don't plan or fantasize in that way, and neither do tons of people.  I've got tons of kinks, lots of flashes of ideas, a few hot ideas and that's about it.  When I masturbate, I flash a few ideas in front of me, get into the groove of it and get off.  Maybe once every few years do I ever have a "fantasy" that I play in my mind.

So if your mind works that way- just say so.  Don't be pressured to write a telenovela based in kink.  Share your ideas of what you like, what gets you hot and move on from there.

But again, be mindful of that "before the second offline date" rule.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CrazyC)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 9:53:54 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		Why the rule? is this not something they should ask?

LoM...you don't know how much you cracked me up.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 10:08:52 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Well, it's a sign of two things.  First, it sounds like they're looking for jerk-off material.  Second, it sounds like they're devoid of their own ideas and want you to do all the creative work.  Of course a dom should get to know you, what you like, what you've experienced, what you've craved, and so on.  But there's a lot more to doing that than just asking you to come up with ideal scenes.  Again, that's why I said that it makes more sense to share fantasies with someone you're interested in than to recite a specific scene or sequence of activities.  A scene is just a lifeless construct unless YOU'RE in it.  And a dom who pays attention will be able to tell a lot about you from those fantasies.

That brings up something else: a good dom will end up knowing things about subs that they don't even realize themselves.  If he's not doing more than asking you for your ideal scenes, he's never going to reach that stage, because his knowledge of you is always going to be limited by your own self-knowledge.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC

Why the rule? is this not something they should ask?


< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 11/6/2006 10:09:42 PM >

(in reply to CrazyC)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 10:44:07 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would take this as an invitation to share a fantasy, and depending on the connection between me and the dominant in question I might take offense to being asked this. I might feel uncomfortable answering...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CrazyC)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 10:48:30 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Asking someone inexperienced to describe their ideal scene is asking for a fantasy. Some people think that way, others dont.  Angel wishes I would, but I cant plan out things like that ahead of time.  I am not wired that way.

They might be digging for a fantasy, or something to play off of for a first meet and playdate.  My take on it, at least.  Something to make for a nice little intro to make you want to come back.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 10:56:30 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		ok so i might have the wording wrong since i didn't know there was a diffrence.

By one i was asked a scene. We have never met. i have had my reserves of if he could actually Dom me anyways, so yea what you are all saying might be right.

The other one did say fantacy. We have met once, and would have a second time...but life wasn't going to let that happen. i am pretty sure he was just getting me to open up and start expressing myself, since i have been very reserved/ friendly with him.


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/6/2006 11:03:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Sharing certain information about kinks enjoyed, limits, likes and dislikes can create intimacy at a nice pace. It can also show if the two of you are suited for each other. I used to provide this information on a limited and almost clinical fashion. I shared my favorite things, and also things I wanted to try that I had not tried yet.. but not in pornographic detail. In other words it had no penthouse forum quality to it. At least at first.. but if a connection continued then I would share more and more as I felt comfortable.. I guess in the beginning if they are not seeking to move within a mutual comfort zone i would wonder about their sincerity... at least a little sensitive to it.. but that is just me

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 11/6/2006 11:04:05 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CrazyC)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/7/2006 5:53:50 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC

ok so i might have the wording wrong since i didn't know there was a diffrence.

By one i was asked a scene. We have never met. i have had my reserves of if he could actually Dom me anyways, so yea what you are all saying might be right.

The other one did say fantacy. We have met once, and would have a second time...but life wasn't going to let that happen. i am pretty sure he was just getting me to open up and start expressing myself, since i have been very reserved/ friendly with him.




Never mind the *second offline date* rule.....that kind of enquiry would draw a total blank from me. It's actually only quite recently that I've spoken about that kind of thing, in that kind of way, with my Master and I've been with him long enough to be counting in years. He asked and still asks LOTS of things to get inside my mind, but even now doesn't explicately ask about *scenes* or *fantasies*.

I am not at all interested in sharing *fantasies* or *scenes thoughts* with someone I barely know and I'd find it rather dull of them to ask, actually.

agirl



(in reply to CrazyC)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/7/2006 6:25:16 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

I shared my favorite things, and also things I wanted to try that I had not tried yet.. but not in pornographic detail

This is how I would approach it also. Share something that you truly enjoy or would like to enjoy, but keep it simple and unpornographic. If they press for the 'dirty' parts of it, you can pretty much guess that they are looking for wank material

Master asked me once very early on in talks with him what was the one thing that I had always wanted to do but never had. I answered him with two words; his response was nothing more than 'interesting'. He never asked me to 'elaborate' with more details.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/7/2006 12:08:09 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

I had a dom do something similar to me. He gave me a writing assignment where he gave me the topic (which by the way was one I told him was not something I did) and he wanted me to write a story as to how I saw it played out.  Normally I would have told him to go to hell since we had only had two conversations up to that point..but I was on a semi truck bored and looking for something to occupy my mind.

By the time I was done with the story, I was murdered by the lover of the domme who collared me....hehehe .... needless to say..I wasnt chosen to be his after that <wink>

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to Kalira)
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RE: creating scenes... - 11/7/2006 3:04:01 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		Oh that is good! LMAO...

I did mention something, and later that day he asked me the same question. it made me think he wasn't really listening. 

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 13
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