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most important show of submission - 2/4/2005 12:35:41 PM

Sirssweet

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Sirs, what is the single most important thing Your sub can do to show her devotion/

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/4/2005 3:54:37 PM

BeachMystress

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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I may not be a Sir, but I am a Dominant. The most important thing my sub can do is correctly anticipate my needs and provide them without being prodded to do so. This takes time for the sub to learn in most cases, as it means actually paying attention to my likes, dislikes, moods, energy level and such. Of course I enjoy the overt submissions, such as getting on his knees and taking "it" for me and the sweet submissions such as cooking dinner or stroking my hair. The one that means the absolute most though is when he provides what I need before I think to ask for it.

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
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(in reply to Sirssweet)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/4/2005 6:08:39 PM

stripmaster

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It's not how you dress or undress, it's not what shape or not shape your body is, it's not what you say or don't say. It’s not the amount of pain or sex you surrender. It's not cleaning house or fetching his slippers & pipe. The only thing a slave can do to show submission, is BLIND TRUST! That is something that the Master has to earn. If your Master asks you to do something that is scary, or something thing that you dread, but you do it out of blind trust, that he knows what’s best for you then you have shown him true submission.

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Spare the rod and spoil the slave

(in reply to Sirssweet)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/4/2005 7:39:40 PM

Interesdom

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From: England
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Many things come to mind, depending on circumstance. Of all the things that I've thought of so far, I can't decide between two of them - and they are similar in nature:

Accept that I am not perfect, forgive my mistakes even when she has been hurt and not let it affect her love and service to me.
Be totally open and truthful to me, regardless of whether the truth scares her or whether she thinks it might hurt me.

(in reply to Sirssweet)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 12:13:04 AM

BeachMystress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Interesdom

Accept that I am not perfect, forgive my mistakes even when she has been hurt and not let it affect her love and service to me.

I like this one :-) Too many are shocked when someone brings up the fact that Dom/me aren't perfect. Um.. scuse me but, we are human too. I need to be accepted for all my facets, both good and bad, to be happy with a sub. He doesn't just get to take the Dominance and ignore the rest.

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Interesdom)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 4:56:24 AM

ProtagonistLily

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quote:

The only thing a slave can do to show submission, is BLIND TRUST! That is something that the Master has to earn. If your Master asks you to do something that is scary, or something thing that you dread, but you do it out of blind trust, that he knows what’s best for you then you have shown him true submission.

Sounds good on paper. What I find more interesting is how long a Dominant expects a submissive/slave to become comfortable with a blind trust situation.

Should she/he have this blind trust from the moment they begin a correspondance? Should the blind trust, like a relationship, mature over time? If a submissive/slave is uncomfortable with being introduced to something new by the Dominant and questions it, does that mean he/she doesn't have blind trust and is not devoted?

I whole heartedly disagree that blind trust is the only thing a slave can do to show devotion. As a Dominant person, part of my job is to employ the ability to read a submissive/slave, to have intuitive awarenesses that allow me to understand them.

You are correct that trust is earned, how ever, it can be taken away or 'unearned' too. Trust, like so many other things in BDSM, is not absolute. Anyone who shows up on first contact saying they have blind trust doesn't understand the core fundementals of BDSM and D/s relationships in my opinion, and probably has other issues that they are masking in the name of BDSM. And frankly, to do so disrespects me as a functional human being.

Lily

< Message edited by ProtagonistLily -- 2/5/2005 5:00:31 AM >

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 9:08:21 AM

topcat

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From: Tidewater, VA
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Protect the property

Trust

Obey

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-there is no remission without blood-

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 9:26:29 AM

MizSuz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Protect the property

Trust

Obey

Ya know, as wordy as you can sometimes be you often amaze me with how concisely you express my own thoughts.

I was thinking of you this morning. We should talk again (instead of this ESP thing we keep doing). I've made significant changes in my life recently. Scary, but good.

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to topcat)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 9:56:43 AM

topcat

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quote:

We should talk again

Madam-

'as you wish...'

I am making the call-

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 11:20:50 AM

domtimothy46176

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For me, it's her attention to the little details that seperates her service from the mundane and elevates it to the level of devotion. "The Devil is in the details" is something we've probably all heard before and it's true for me and my household. Knowing that she cares enough to pay attention to the little niggling details of my preferences shows me that she cares not just about being obediant but about pleasing me in the smallest minutea. IMO, there's no greater sacrifice she could make.
Timothy

(in reply to Sirssweet)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 12:24:19 PM

MizSuz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Madam-

'as you wish...'

I am making the call-

You always know just what to say.

It was good to speak to you again. <smile>

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to topcat)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 2:03:48 PM

stripmaster

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quote:

I whole heartedly disagree that blind trust is the only thing a slave can do to show devotion. As a Dominant person, part of my job is to employ the ability to read a submissive/slave, to have intuitive awarenesses that allow me to understand them.

You must not of read the opening post, "most important show of submission" not "the only thing". This thread was not show of devotion; there is as many ways to show devotion as there are Masters & slaves. I did state that it had to be earned, and to earn that kind of trust would take time and work from both parties. I know a BDSM relationship, or any relationship for that matter is based on constant learning and building of experinces good & bad. If there isn't enough good ones to build on, then the relationship will fall apart. When a friend of mine once asked me how do you know when you have reached or done a great job with your slave? After great though I replied when our trust in each other is so strong she doesn't even question my command only follows it, because she's put her care and life in my hands. I know if you park your car with the keys in it and the engine running in front of 7-11 it’s going to get stolen. Starting a new relationship off with blind trust is like asking the fox to guard the hen house. So how long does it take for the blind trust; that depends on the couple. Can it go bad sure; the constitution only guarantees pursuit of happiness. If every Master was a great one and every slave a good one there wouldn't be so many people searching on collarme.com. So yes I agree with you that there are a lot of people who do not understand the core fundementals of BDSM and D/s relationships.

Steven

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(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 2:56:25 PM

TolerableCruelty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Interesdom

Many things come to mind, depending on circumstance. Of all the things that I've thought of so far, I can't decide between two of them - and they are similar in nature:

Accept that I am not perfect, forgive my mistakes even when she has been hurt and not let it affect her love and service to me.

Be totally open and truthful to me, regardless of whether the truth scares her or whether she thinks it might hurt me.

Maybe its just Me, but I don't find that being a show of submission at all......that's something that we should all strive for in any relationship, 'nilla or kinked.

All in all, I'm afraid I'll have to agree with TopCat
when a slave does those three simple things, and leaves the wieght of the world upon the Masters shoulders to bear the brunt of any recoil.... that is complete and total submission.

(in reply to Interesdom)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 8:12:41 PM

Sirssweet

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Thank each of you for your answers and insight. and i hope i did not offend by my brash assumption that only males would be dominants.

sirssweet

(in reply to Sirssweet)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 8:20:23 PM

ProtagonistLily

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quote:

The only thing a slave can do to show submission, is BLIND TRUST! That is something that the Master has to earn

Well, then apparently this quote is out of context, because you state it as the only thing, not the most important thing.

The thread title wasn't in question. Your finite use of the word 'only' in the above quote was what caught my eye.

Lily

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~Dr. Seuss~

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/5/2005 11:11:36 PM

NtrlLeader

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As a sub there are many things my subs do to show their devotion to me. I'm sure the most important thing varies from Dom to Dom. As a Dom I see it as part of my job to see to the growth, protection, and safety of my subs, and as such I will occasionally ask them to do things to help them grow or learn (cut back on smoking, try to get to know more people, focus more on school work, etc...). Obeying these things and putting in a sincere effort is the thing that shows their submission to me the most, because it shows they are willing to learn from me and put my commands before their desires.

Dom Dan

(in reply to Sirssweet)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/7/2005 9:23:34 AM

bluedogg7000

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This may sound simplistic but..it all starts with attitude:

A desire to learn is the most important attitude of all. Not to learn what your Master or Mistress wants but rather to learn all you can about yourself...Then whatever you give will be true and by the right person, cherished...

(in reply to Sirssweet)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/7/2005 7:14:55 PM

FangsNfeet

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Be honest

Be willing

When I say "Bend Over!" you better do it.

Attachment (1)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/8/2005 7:38:47 AM

MidnightWriter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirssweet

Sirs, what is the single most important thing Your sub can do to show her devotion/

Tell me the things that I need to know that they don't want to admit to.

Honesty is the single most important factor to me.

(in reply to Sirssweet)

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RE: most important show of submission - 2/8/2005 11:02:31 AM

Cyis75

Posts: 164
Joined: 8/31/2004
From: Georgia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Be honest

Be willing

When I say "Bend Over!" you better do it.

I would go as far as saying the first two items go for both the dom and the sub. As was said earlier we are human, regardless of our role in the relationship, and mistakes will be made. What matters most to me is the honesty and willingness behind the action.

As for the last, Sometimes nothing need be said at all. What makes me adore my 'kitty' more than anything is that we are so in tune with one another that I don't have to say a thing, sometimes a look or growl is all it takes. Beyond her taking care of things that I'm fully capable of doing myself , she does to serve me and by doing so makes both her and my life better.While she and I enjoy more edge play the trust as others have mentioned comes more into play as she knows a mistake on my part could possible harm her and she has trust in me that I won't harm her in a manner I had not planned on doing.

Overall, back to the OP, it depends on the relationship and the people in it. As can be seen from the replies which list many different things and many the same.I find it sometimes easier to just say "whatever works for you"...

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

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