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Letters from Evil Santa - 11/7/2006 12:52:07 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, Attys at Law
Serving Your Needs Since 1898
201 Pequin Avenue
North Pole, Earth

Dear Susie:

This is to inform you that, in accordance with our policies regarding the distribution of consideration, aka presents, on December 25th per annum, you will not be receiving any such consideration for violations of the Terms and Conditions Agreement contained in the "Naughty and Nice Policy" furnished to you at birth.

Your violations include, but are not limited to:

1. Annoying and detailed blog entries.

2. Use of the Men's Room while feeling particularly needy. (See Appendix A for definitions.)

3. Use of a cell phone in a movie.

4. Lying about your sins in Confesssion.

5. Lying about Confession to your parents.

6. Reading a comic in church during Mass.

7. Failing to memorise your vocabulary words during the 2nd week of April, 2006.

8. Speaking out of turn in class.

9. Failing to show proper respect for clergy.

You will receive a revocation letter via certified mail in the following days. After that, a process server will visit you at school to set you down for deposition. You may bring an attorney to the deposition, but not a parent.

This letter serves as your 30 day notice as per Clause IV of the Terms and Conditions Agreement referenced above. It is not intended as a full explanation of your violations of the "Naughty and Nice" Policy, nor may it be introduced into evidence in any legal proceeding, except by Santa.

You may file suit in small claims in the North Pole against Santa for a statutory limited amount of no more than $3,000 (Three Thousand Dollars) and must serve Santa via process server.

Regards,

Fredrick "Freddie" Dewey, atty at law

cc: Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus

~candystripper~


< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/7/2006 12:53:34 AM >
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RE: Letters from Evil Santa - 11/7/2006 1:05:31 AM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		"I'm getting sued by Santa Claus..."

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Letters from Evil Santa - 11/7/2006 3:59:46 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		I sat on Santa's lap one year dressed like a school girl for a guy I was dating..when Santa looked at me with a smirk and said "ho ho ho" somehow I think he was being sarcastic

(in reply to LadySeraphina)
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RE: Letters from Evil Santa - 11/7/2006 4:04:55 AM   
MyMasterStephen


Posts: 219
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		I thought Santa Claus was an invention of Coca-Cola...?

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
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RE: Letters from Evil Santa - 11/7/2006 4:05:42 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		Coca Cola EVIL............Santa only brings Pepsi products

(in reply to MyMasterStephen)
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RE: Letters from Evil Santa - 11/10/2006 2:10:25 AM   
adommeforu


Posts: 847
Status: offline 		Dear Santa
Every time I open presents and get excited, Mom and Dad make me take a special pill, then nothing seems as fun. Why?
Billy Masters - San Diego.

Dear Billy
You are broken. The pills are to fix you. and thank the Lord for this or you would have to be taken somewhere to be raised, possibly by wolves or very mean people. Even with the pills, this could happen anytime without warning. Just something to think about.
Merry Christmas. Love Santa.





_____________________________

Bad hair day!!

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Letters from Evil Santa - 11/10/2006 3:53:36 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Dear Satan...

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to adommeforu)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Letters from Evil Santa - 11/10/2006 10:49:29 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		Every year i have to eat the cookies for my kids so they think Santa ate them..one year i got up to eat them and my son got up and said "STOP! DON'T TOUCH SANTA'S COOKIES MOMMY!" it was sooo cute

(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 8
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