BDSM Humor; Add a Joke (Full Version)

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candystripper -> BDSM Humor; Add a Joke (11/7/2006 1:35:43 AM)

Undesirable Traits in a Subbie

1. She has a tattoo from the CDC.

2. She tells you that despite the fact that her old master is on death row, the rest of the guys in his motorcycle gang still think of her as his property.

3. She frequently calls you by yelling: "Yo, master!"

4. Her idea of "a good caning" is shopping for furniture at Pier One.

5. Her "safe word" is "POLICE!"

6. She can never quite remember where she put those keys to those darn handcuffs.

7. Her self-chosen slave name is "Electra".

8. Her REAL name is "Electra".


Top Ten Reasons To Be A Pervert

10. You don't have to worry about what's left of your reputation.

9. You can really look forward to just hanging around at your friend's house.

8. You'll always have candles when the power goes out.

7. The neighborhood kids won't be allowed to trick or treat at your place.

6. You get to dress like the heavy metal singer you had a crush on as a kid.

5. You never outgrow your toys.

4. Jury duty? Not any more.

3. "You've got mail!"

2. Basic black looks good on everyone.

And the number one reason:

1. Your one night stands are so much more interesting than those of your co-workers.

candystripper



justanotheclaire -> RE: BDSM Humor; Add a Joke (11/7/2006 1:57:22 AM)

lol i so love that last one lol



adommeforu -> RE: BDSM Humor; Add a Joke (11/7/2006 7:07:52 PM)

ALBANY STOCKS AND BONDS:
A pansexual BDSM club.



adommeforu -> RE: BDSM Humor; Add a Joke (11/10/2006 1:47:00 AM)

"The only 'unnatural' sex is that which you cannot physically perform................."
Alfred Kinsey



candystripper -> RE: BDSM Humor; Add a Joke (11/11/2006 4:29:45 AM)

Signature Lines:
 
Build a thousand bridges in your lifetime, but suck one dick, are you known forever as the bridge builder?
 
Violet wands. They're everywhere you expect them to be. --Visa
 
They're always after me lil red ass. --Lucky Charms
 
Don't beat subs without it. --American Express
 
You can hear the wax drop. --Sprint
 
Thud Thud Sting Sting Oh what sweet pain You bring! -AlkaSeltzer
 
What would you do for a spreader bar? --Klondike
 
Sometimes you tie up the nuts, sometimes you don't. --Mounds & Almond Joy
 
P-A-D-D-L-E-S, paddles leave the very best...bruises. --Nestle
 
Get a piece of the crop. --Prudential
 
BDSM: The choice of a lewd generation! --Pepsi-Cola
 
Bottoms. They take a licking and keep on ticking. -Timex
 
This world's no fun. In my world, there are people in chains and you can ride around on them like ponies... Come beat the softer side of rears -Sears Roebuck-
 
It's a feel thing -CocaCola-
 
An ass is a terrible thing to waste. -NAACP-
 
Just what the Domme ordered -Dr. Pepper-
 
(close in on 3 frogs in a pond, dressed in leather teddies): S.....and.....M -Budweiser-
Smacks great. Less stinging. -Bud Lite-
 
Subspace Inside -Intel-
 
Imagine yourself down on your knees. -Mercury-
 
Gimme an ache, gimme an ache... -KitKat-
 
Know what comes between me and that paddle? Nothing -Calvin Klein-
 
Where's the cuffs? -Wendy's-
 
I don't want to hold back, I'm a Toys "R" Us Dom... -Toys 'R' Us-
 
You deserve a spank today -McDonald's-
 
He likes it. He likes it. Hey SAMmy -Life Cereal-
 
This is not your father's S+M -Oldsmobile-
 
Subs. Built damn tough. -Chrysler Plymouth Dodge-
 
Home of the flogger -Burger King-
 
The more you kneel, the more you feel -National Education Council-
 
It does a body good. -National Dairy Council-
 
(close in on a person holding a small brown egg)
This is your ass. (same person holding a large colored striped Easter egg) This is your ass after a scene. Any questions? --Anti-Drug Foundation
 
What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
 
Why does a man have a hole in his penis? To get some air to his brain.
 
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.
 
How can you tell when a man's had an orgasm? From the snoring.
 
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
 
There are two kinds of pain in the world, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.
 
Reality is for people who don't understand ~sub space~
 
candystripper



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