In The Mean Time "The Barter System?"

In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (Full Version)

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RosaB -> In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 7:45:14 AM)
The "No Strings Housework" thread got me thinking and especially a comment made by someone. A lot of people seem to get their knickers and panites twisted up over the exchange of money, free labor, etc., what does one do in the mean time when your just itching for a bit of stress release and you have a friend that's available and willing to barter? Would you consider it. Example. Diane and Brad often get together just to hang out as friends but have no mutual romantic interest in each other. Brad is craving some non sexual good old fashion discipline, Diane's usual housekeeper, (or Diane just wishes she had one,) is away, Phillip offers his housekeeping service, or whatever in exchange for whatever bdsm activity they agree upon. Would any of you consider it as a viable option? Remember you already know and like each other on some level but, presently, are just not feeling each other as romantic mates. Rosa PS..........And I mean doing real housework, not just bending over looking out the corner of your eye to see if I'm staring at you with a stern look while you look ever so cute rubbing the same spot for 15 minutes at a time.

LeatherBentOne -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 7:59:21 AM)
We barter in life all the time because we are always looking for a pay-off, emotionally, physically, finacially, psychologically and sexually. Few things would ever get done if we weren't willing to barter in some aspect of life, much less housework unless one enjoys it. But, that's a barter in itself. See what I mean? Most definitely, I'd barter and do barter, especially with my sub. That's what relationships are about. You give me this; I'll give you that. That's just the way life is. Full of exchanges cuz nobody lives in a vacuum. Well, unless you're a dust mite. LBO

undergroundsea -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 8:03:22 AM)
In general, I think it is a viable scenario. How well it would work for me is a different question. My draw to BDSM is more dynamic related than activity related. That is, I am not so interested to get flogged or topped as to engage in acts of D/s. And there has to be some chemistry to engage in acts of D/s. So the scenario you describe does not apply so well to my reality. However, I can still imagine scenarios that allow room for a barter. I don't actively seek such an arrangement but do not rule it out. Cheers, Sea

RosaB -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 8:16:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne We barter in life all the time because we are always looking for a pay-off, emotionally, physically, finacially, psychologically and sexually. Few things would ever get done if we weren't willing to barter in some aspect of life, much less housework unless one enjoys it. But, that's a barter in itself. See what I mean? Most definitely, I'd barter and do barter, especially with my sub. That's what relationships are about. You give me this; I'll give you that. That's just the way life is. Full of exchanges cuz nobody lives in a vacuum. Well, unless you're a dust mite. LBO LBO, that was my thinking exactly when I first thought of posting this, everyday we barter for something. When we go to our job, we are bartering at work. I was just wondering how some thought of this in the bdsm realm. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sea, yes it is true, in the context of how it applies to ones long term needs, it wouldn't work, but if of a moment of just plain stress release for some people, I just wonder how it might work for some. As we know, many of us are not real and only look to play at this for short periods of time. Just kidding so don't through stones people.

undergroundsea -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 8:35:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RosaB Sea, yes it is true, in the context of how it applies to ones long term needs, it wouldn't work, but if of a moment of just plain stress release for some people, I just wonder how it might work for some. The context of my post was not so much long-term needs but type of play. I am interested in D/s play (versus bottoming to physical play) and can see it to occur in a casual, even one-time manner. I feel the type of play I seek does not align well with bartering with someone where there is no chemistry, which the scenario described in the OP presupposes. For me, corporal play (the first example that comes to mind upon talk of play for barter) has value as an expression of D/s, or as part of the dance towards courtship (at a play party for instance). Corporal play for the sake of sensation alone does not appeal to me much. I have declined invitations to play even without a barter when the chemistry or attraction is not there. If someone does find a barter to fit their situation, great. For housework, I distinguish housework towards D/s from housework towards barter. I think positioning housework that is really barter for corporal play as housework towards D/s (an expression of the power roles) misses the spot ;-) Cheers, Sea

MasterFireMaam -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 9:58:34 AM)
I do this. I have a houseboy who serves me by mowing the grass and cleaning the house (really cleaning). In return, I indulge him in a few ways that don't necessarily "do it" for me, but that I don't mind doing a a reward for real, good, work. I've also given him gifts to say thank you. he's not a match for my household, nor has he expressed an interest in being a permanent member of such. It's simply a symbiotic relationship.We have things in common that we can talk about and he's a nice guy. It works for us. Master Fire

MstrssPassion -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 10:34:37 AM)
Barter or whatever else you want to call it will cause things to become mechanical exchanges where one expects something in return for what it is they do & ultimately you end up with "you owe me one" sentiments. I find this tit for tat interaction to severely undermine the dynamic that I have set up with those I interact with on various levels from intimacy to purely service. The relationship was set up with clearly defined expectations of both parties & also with regular intervals of modification if such is needed due to changes or growth. If someone approaches me with the mindset that they will do a, b &/or c for me so long as they can expect to get 1, 2 &/or 3 back from me then the whole thing is starting off on the wrong foot & I don't see how finding balance will be possible. I am the dominant & by this I am the one who designs & implements what will take place within our relationship. Don't read this as if I do not establish rewards & such. I just see no point it setting up a system that offers a submissive the ability to manipulate the course of relationship. They either surrender to the path that I have set up or they keep right on walking, following their own path... that choice is of course theirs to make. Besides, by keeping with the example offered, if a sub comes to me & thinks that offers of house cleaning, auto detailing, cooking, lawn service, handy man services or anything of the like, he/she will think wrong.. none of this appeals to me personally & all of which are day to day things that are already handled (either by me, another family member or hired help). Service, to me, comes from a much deeper place than mechanical skills.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 10:47:04 AM)
I love the barter system and use it often. I have plenty for submissives to do,not just housework,but outside work also. I have an outside wood furnace that holds a 3 foot log...its kinda fun to hook up the logs to the submissive as if they were a horse and have them drag logs out of the woods( I have 8 acres of land loaded with trees) and so in that way you can have work incorporated into a scene. I get My wood moved they get to be a horsie W/we both win. I have some seclusion here which enables Me to have outside privacy to do all sorts of things...

DiannaVesta -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 11:21:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion Barter or whatever else you want to call it will cause things to become mechanical exchanges where one expects something in return for what it is they do & ultimately you end up with "you owe me one" sentiments. I find this tit for tat interaction to severely undermine the dynamic that I have set up with those I interact with on various levels from intimacy to purely service. The relationship was set up with clearly defined expectations of both parties & also with regular intervals of modification if such is needed due to changes or growth. If someone approaches me with the mindset that they will do a, b &/or c for me so long as they can expect to get 1, 2 &/or 3 back from me then the whole thing is starting off on the wrong foot & I don't see how finding balance will be possible. I am the dominant & by this I am the one who designs & implements what will take place within our relationship. Don't read this as if I do not establish rewards & such. I just see no point it setting up a system that offers a submissive the ability to manipulate the course of relationship. They either surrender to the path that I have set up or they keep right on walking, following their own path... that choice is of course theirs to make. Besides, by keeping with the example offered, if a sub comes to me & thinks that offers of house cleaning, auto detailing, cooking, lawn service, handy man services or anything of the like, he/she will think wrong.. none of this appeals to me personally & all of which are day to day things that are already handled (either by me, another family member or hired help). Service, to me, comes from a much deeper place than mechanical skills. Thank you! I agree with you 100%. I start reading this thread and thinking, “Are you kidding me?” lol – There is no way in hell I’d agree to that type of arrangement. Call me a bitch and I’ll thank you because there is no way I’m changing my style. I make them clean my house AND bring me a gift. I don’t ask them what they want in return. If the serve me they serve me at any capacity I see fit and if they don’t their history. This doesn’t mean I won’t consider the needs of a submissive. If I care about someone this is only natural but I will be damn if I’ll allow any type of manipulation or passive aggressive behavior because I’m not performing to his/her standards.

DiannaVesta -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 11:23:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 I love the barter system and use it often. I have plenty for submissives to do,not just housework,but outside work also. I have an outside wood furnace that holds a 3 foot log...its kinda fun to hook up the logs to the submissive as if they were a horse and have them drag logs out of the woods( I have 8 acres of land loaded with trees) and so in that way you can have work incorporated into a scene. I get My wood moved they get to be a horsie W/we both win. I have some seclusion here which enables Me to have outside privacy to do all sorts of things... lol- Thats what I'm talking about! If my needs fit in line with his/hers its all good.

RosaB -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 11:50:03 AM)
Um, for those messaging me, this wasn't an invitation, this was just a question I put out here on the forums out of curiosity. Dammit. Thank you to all that have shared your thoughts on the matter so far. Sea your your very thoughtful responses are most appreciated. Rosa

draba -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 1:22:02 PM)
I barter with my Mistress. I am her gardener. She is a pro. Fortunately, we are not picky about hours and how much each owes each. That works out in the long run. I ahve been with her for 1 1/2 years. Sometimes in the winter I can not work, yet Mistress still lets me come for sessions. Each of us make request from time to time. Hers are for plant material and mine are for differant session scenes. All in all this works out. Often I let Mistress have her way with me and usually she lets me do as I want in the yard. I am dedicated to her and she has placed a collar on me. Supposedly, I am her favorite and most reliable. It does pay to do a good job for Mistress!!!!!!

Morrigel -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 1:45:07 PM)
Y'know, threads like this really make me realize what a blessing it is to be able to mind my own business. I honestly don't care how other people run their personal affairs or how they exchange goods and services, sexual or otherwise. As long as both partners are content that they have received a fair value of something they wanted? S'all good...[:)] --M

beltainefaerie -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/7/2006 10:16:02 PM)
As with all things, it would work well for some and the mere idea would throw others into fits of laughter. As a switch, I feel like I can respond from both sides. I generally crave more relationship in my subbing, but there was a time when I didn't have a Master and would have definitely gone for this type of relationship. I would certainly have exchanged a valuable service such as cleaning for discipline. Now cleaning is motivated far more by my desire to please Him than by anything I might receive for a job well done. As a Domme/Top (depending on my mood) I might consider such bartering still. It could be mutually beneficial.

Hitandmiss -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/9/2006 7:55:22 PM)
Oh yes, I'm a player. I enjoy people and I can do WIIWD just as casual as that. It is just for fun sometimes, too. And even with my husband and I sort of barter - sex service for sex service sometimes :) I enjoy so many things.

RosaB -> RE: In The Mean Time "The Barter System?" (11/9/2006 10:06:09 PM)
Alrighy then. I'll take that as a no. [:)]

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