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Mustardseed -> RE: Oral Sex During Menstruation (4/20/2007 7:11:26 AM)
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This post will gross out the squeamish. But then again, why are you reading this topic?
It's not so much the way I was raised that made me nervous about oral sex during my period, it was the reactions of my partners. Until we switched from monogomy to polyamory, my (now) ex-husband wouldn't go down on me at all because "women smell funny down there." This from the man who had to learn to wash his ass properly before I'd give him head again. [8|] After watching a lover lick my pussy with obvious delight, he decided that it would be in his best interest to learn to grow a pair and get over himself ... which he eventually did. But yes, my first husband wouldn't recipcrocate oral sex even during my blood free times.
Enter Depo Provera, which worked such a nightmare on my body that it reversed my periods. I was bleeding three weeks out of every month, and some of what I was losing had congealed into something similar to processed canned cranberry sauce / jelly. I became oddly fascinated with the stuff, but also freaked out because I couldn't help but wonder if I was losing mass in there. Watching my lover come up for air not only incredibly bloody but sometimes with small globs on his face got me hesistant to accept oral sex anymore. A D&C during my tubal ligation (which I'd wanted to have done since age 13) discovered a polyp -- invisible to the preliminary ultra sound -- that turned out to be the culprit.
Said lover mentioned above is as close to an actual carnivore as I've ever met. Dude would turn pale if a piece of roasted red pepper clung to his steak. I could go into what he wouldn't eat, but the point is what he would eat me: me, even during my period. Indeed, especially during my period. He had a tendency to make happy noises while licking up blood between my legs, in part -- I think -- because it reminded him of an ideal meal.
I am blessed with the fact that cramping is rare for me during my period. Indeed, the only real annoyance past staining (I also have heavy flows) is the diarrhea that I've been told gets triggered by the vaginal contractions that help to get the blood off the uterine wall. Therefore, other than needing to clean up well in the bathroom before and after, I don't feel particularly awful or gross during my period. If anything I tend to crave more sex around that time.
However, I've also found that there's a merging between the bitchy PMS stereotype and personal power. Before my period, during PMS season, anything that I've been putting up with before becomes an unbearable annoyance or a near mortal insult. Therefore, the PMS week is my time to clean house, get certain things resolved, reinforce my boundaries, nest ... whatever. Even though pregnancy , short of divine intervention, is no longer an issue for me, I do have to consider that my cycle still happens. I track it via The Cycles Page and make notes to myself on my calendar so that I know when my PMS is coming. If I can stop and think about why a certain behavior has become intollerable to me, I am in a much better position to deal with it accordingly rather than to just lash out.
Nowadays, I'm dating another self-proclaimed carnivore, though less hard-core about it than my ex-lover. When I first announced my period ("Uh, there's blood") to this gent, his response was, "Okay. So?" He licks very carefully, going in seach of the blood and even coming up to show off when he's managed to get a long line of it down his tongue. His comment is usually something along the lines of, "Mmm, steak tartare!" [:D]
For the squeaking who insisted upon reading this post anyway, may I remind you that there are such things as dental dams and even Saran Wrap. Okay, there's no guarantee that you won't come into contact with a little blood, and the scent issue is still there, but it should block the majority of the actual blood.
Would I require it of a submissive? If they could do it without yaking then yes, but only with protection.
Also, I typed the words cunnilingus and period (or cunnilingus and menstruation) into Google. A number of people have written how-to articles that cover this topic. It could be worth looking into for some folks.
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