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RE: is this common ???? - 11/10/2006 4:19:21 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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Fast Reply:

Why does it bother you so?

I consider myself "rescued" although I wasn't looking to be rescued (nor was I really "rescued" in that I had to do a LOT of work to recover from my past). I was quite ready to settle for what I thought was my lot in life. Along came a man who saw something in me that I didn't. He likes rebuilding that which is broken. I don't consider him a rescuer, per se, but he likes tinkering and working with minds, and he snatched up mine to see what he could do with. Lots of girls have approached him, looking to be saved from themselves. During the course of conversation, he either sees a genuine desire in someone to work toward growth or not. It is quite easy for him to separate the wheat from the chaff. He is smart enough to know how to do that, so those "damsels" end up running off just as quickly has they ran in. It's really no biggy, in my book.

(in reply to mystique2003)

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RE: is this common ???? - 11/10/2006 4:45:35 PM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
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I think it is called empathy, and depending on the type of person you are, the degree of empathy you have in another will vary. And in quoting you "has some other sob story"; this is factual and many people have opened their lives to others and only to be greeted with undesireable actions. It is life, and in my opinion, if any Dominant/Master really wants to dominate a sub/slave then the whole of the sub/slave has to be taken into consideration. Our history defines our future, and there is nothing wrong with anyone going out to seek a better life so they don't have to anymore 'sob stories', and if a Dominant/Master/Mistress can relate to it, and empathize with the fact it is part of the sub/slaves past, then truely one must commend them for such. Not everyones life is a bed of roses mystique, and I am sure most of us look for things that will strengthen our lives and complement them. One factor I use in determining the validity of a continued conversation with Dominants is if they hold any interest in me as a person, and my past, because I figure they can not even get a glimpse into my future let alone a future with them if they really have no interest in it, and on that note I do have a few sob stories to share. Such is life!

(in reply to mystique2003)

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RE: is this common ???? - 11/10/2006 10:00:45 PM

untamedshysub

Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
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its one am and I cant sleep and have taken three sleeping pills and two valiums so I hope this post makes sense. Everyone has a hard luck story , some could fill volumes with it , I have never met anyone who wanted to rescue me from my past or even to deal with it , but I suppose there are those who have soft hearts and fall prey to unsupspecting men and women. Just a fact of life there are givers and takers. the givers are usually the ones who end up hurt in the end.

(in reply to onlythewindknows)

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RE: is this common ???? - 11/11/2006 3:06:17 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

How many other subs and/or slaves have seen or felt this. That many, not all mind you, Doms and Masters when they read about a female sub or slave who has " had a hard life" " been abused by someone" or has some other sob story, well they just seem to melt. I mean they just have to help that poor defenseless maiden. Even when others can see that this poor defenseless maiden is handing over a load of bs. I have seen this not only online but in real time too.

Why does it seem that the Dommes or Mistresses more often can see through this kind of smoke screen ? This has just been a observation i have made and wish to see if others have experienced it or seen it too.

I don't know if there's any gender differences, but I have seen this tendency in guys, both vanilla and otherwise. When I began to use the internet for dating after I separated from my husband, one of the first things I noticed is how common it is for guys to actively solicit stories of past trauma. I think in many cases, its part of a predatory strategy while in others, its part of a more genuine rescuer/knight type thing that MasterFireMaam described and in still others it has something to do with attempts to connect, albeit vicariously, with their own traumas or a desire to bond via a shared sense of vulnerability and damage.

When it comes to women who are endlessly coming up with sob stories, yeah, it can be a problem. My exhusband decided he wanted a divorce because he fell in love with a woman who had a horrifying litany of trauma, much of which turned out to be fabricated. She eventually moved on to her next victim, and so did he.

As for me, I've been "tested" and have acculmulated my own share of sob stories. I'm not above sharing those stories in public or private, in part, because I've benefitted tremendously from various forms of self-help and peer-support. I speak my own life because I've learned so much from others who have spoken theirs. Just as important, though, those stories are me, and constitute who I am. When ya get right down to it, I don't have much else.

Erm...why am I thinking about Gloria Gaynor right now? I am feeling so cheesy.

(in reply to mystique2003)

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Post #: 24