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Mentoring question - 2/5/2005 1:02:04 PM

littlebuttercup

Posts: 36
Joined: 2/1/2005
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i'm wondering if it is common practice for more experienced Dom/mes to mentor more inexperienced Dom/es?

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/5/2005 2:48:47 PM

TolerableCruelty

Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
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as far as real life, I have only mentored 1 new Dom, but in My area there isn't exactly a scene. I have met a few online, and I've offered suggestions when asked to help, moreso to the new subs than the Doms, since most of them I've met online are just looking for some cyber and have no interest in the D/s life. I think before I would actually take time out of My personal schedule, I'd have to seriously meet and talk with any prospective new Dom, probably more than I would a sub.... because, in either case, they would be a direct reflection of Me.

(in reply to littlebuttercup)

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/5/2005 2:49:02 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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quote:

i'm wondering if it is common practice for more experienced Dom/mes to mentor more inexperienced Dom/es?

Midear Buttercup-

I don't think it's uncommon at all, at least informally- in fact, I'd hope it were the case that it is common- while many exaggerate the danger of some of the work we do, there are a few things that you should really have some help in learning.

I have had the pleasure in the past few years of having a few seekers come to me, and I am always happy to help them along- it wasn't long ago that I was the seeker, and many wonderful, skilled people in the scene (top or bottom, male or female) took me in hand and showed me the ropes. With the exception of a few people who claimed to be my protoge, and went crashing about the scene with their asshat on, it has been a really good feeeling to be able to give something back.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

< Message edited by topcat -- 2/5/2005 3:00:23 PM >

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(in reply to littlebuttercup)

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/5/2005 4:43:15 PM

littlebuttercup

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Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Midear Buttercup-

I don't think it's uncommon at all, at least informally- in fact, I'd hope it were the case that it is common- while many exaggerate the danger of some of the work we do, there are a few things that you should really have some help in learning.

I have had the pleasure in the past few years of having a few seekers come to me, and I am always happy to help them along- it wasn't long ago that I was the seeker, and many wonderful, skilled people in the scene (top or bottom, male or female) took me in hand and showed me the ropes. With the exception of a few people who claimed to be my protoge, and went crashing about the scene with their asshat on, it has been a really good feeeling to be able to give something back.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

thank you so much for your thoughtful answer. the reason i was asking is that my husband wasn't involved in bdsm until he met me. i believe i brought out his naturally dominant side. i think he (and i) could greatly benefit from some sort of mentoring.

thanks again,

buttercup

p.s. lol at your asshat comment. :D

(in reply to topcat)

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/6/2005 12:33:47 AM

BeachMystress

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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I think that any new Dominant (or sub) can benefit from some sort of mentoring, even if it is just having a more experienced Dominant (or sub) with whom to talk about thoughts, feelings and ideas. In my experience, it is common for new Dominants to reach a point where they reach out naturally. They may not enter a formal mentorship, but they do look for others to broaden their knowledge base.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to littlebuttercup)

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/6/2005 6:21:06 AM

OrientalMistress

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My dear...is He then looking to be mentored... Perhaps I can help. You will find My profile at debi4uth2 {yahoo}.

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/6/2005 9:41:06 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrientalMistress

My dear...is He then looking to be mentored... Perhaps I can help. You will find My profile at debi4uth2 {yahoo}.

Are you going to charge them for this? And what are your qualifications? Your yahoo profile lists you as a sub and your CollarMe profile lists you as Domme. As which would you instruct him? You say you train only in cyber on your CollarMe profile. Do you have any real time experience? Is that as a sub or Domme? How many people have you mentored? Were they Dom/me or sub? Where can this person you're offering to "mentor" find information about your training, skill level and such? Who do you have to provide testimonials on your behalf? I find it odd that anyone would offer to mentor a stranger. Mentoring is a serious business and not easily done via online. If he wishes a mentor, I suggest he seek a local group, find someone he respects there and request help.

I'm not sure what part of Ontario you're in littlebuttercup, so I'll just throw some links out there and hope you're near one of them..

http://snap.to/bdsmkingston
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CorporalCaucus/
http://www.dssg.org/
http://www.ehbc.ca/
http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/kawarthaalternativelifestyles/
http://www.oxford.net/~louise/bdsm/london1.htm
http://peterboroughpowerexchang.homestead.com/index.html
http://www.geocities.com/saafegroup/saafe.html
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Toronto_Ds_Singles/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BDSM_Toronto/

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 2/6/2005 9:42:54 AM >

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to OrientalMistress)

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/6/2005 3:19:58 PM

littlebuttercup

Posts: 36
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

Are you going to charge them for this? And what are your qualifications? Your yahoo profile lists you as a sub and your CollarMe profile lists you as Domme. As which would you instruct him? You say you train only in cyber on your CollarMe profile. Do you have any real time experience? Is that as a sub or Domme? How many people have you mentored? Were they Dom/me or sub? Where can this person you're offering to "mentor" find information about your training, skill level and such? Who do you have to provide testimonials on your behalf? I find it odd that anyone would offer to mentor a stranger. Mentoring is a serious business and not easily done via online. If he wishes a mentor, I suggest he seek a local group, find someone he respects there and request help.

I'm not sure what part of Ontario you're in littlebuttercup, so I'll just throw some links out there and hope you're near one of them..

http://snap.to/bdsmkingston
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CorporalCaucus/
http://www.dssg.org/
http://www.ehbc.ca/
http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/kawarthaalternativelifestyles/
http://www.oxford.net/~louise/bdsm/london1.htm
http://peterboroughpowerexchang.homestead.com/index.html
http://www.geocities.com/saafegroup/saafe.html
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Toronto_Ds_Singles/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BDSM_Toronto/

thanks so much for the links. we are in toronto, so i'll try those groups first. i agree that online mentoring would probably not work. thanks again for your help. :D

(in reply to BeachMystress)

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/6/2005 3:22:22 PM

littlebuttercup

Posts: 36
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrientalMistress

My dear...is He then looking to be mentored... Perhaps I can help. You will find My profile at debi4uth2 {yahoo}.

i am just making some inquiries. and i know that if and when He does seek a mentor that mentor will need to be male. not that Dommes are any less qualified, just that i think he would relate better to a male point of view.

(in reply to OrientalMistress)

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RE: Mentoring question - 2/6/2005 7:35:04 PM

FangsNfeet

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Experience and inexperience?

Who would you like to have sex with you're first time? Another virgin or someone who has been around the block a few times?

All I can say is that it normally works out good both ways when entering the life style with someone. If you both aren't all that experienced then you get to grow together learning each other and your limits very well. If you choose to be with a master with more experience then you might have more trust as to what he is doing and be able to broaden your horizens at a faster pace. Either way it's a win win situation for the most part.

As for you Hubbie just now getting into BDSM, just trust him to read, learn, and experiment with percaution. Also see if he will become a member of this site to ask qustions and do more research. I'm sure he's going to enjoy learning and doing all sorts of naughty things to you and your marriage will be better and longer lasting for it.