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Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 9:08:42 PM

steeljoe

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

Why is it that subs/slaves always leave their pictures out of their profiles, yet state that they are looking for a real long-term relationship?? They also don't reply to your messages, yet a week later they claim they received No Messages?? Are they even serious?? Because so many are on several sites, but state they can't find someone to match their criteria, and yet several match mine exactly!! So what is the game??

Post #: 1

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 9:20:43 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

Settle down Joe...

I have no pertinent info ... but, give it time. Did you expect to come here and "poof" magic sub appears?

I don't have my pic posted because (1) I have a Dom, and (2) I require privacy.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to steeljoe)

Post #: 2

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 9:37:40 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Whoa. That's a big polar bear behind you.
If they don't reply to your messages than interpret that as a "no"

(in reply to steeljoe)

Post #: 3

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 9:41:01 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steeljoe

Why is it that subs/slaves always leave their pictures out of their profiles, yet state that they are looking for a real long-term relationship?? They also don't reply to your messages, yet a week later they claim they received No Messages?? Are they even serious?? Because so many are on several sites, but state they can't find someone to match their criteria, and yet several match mine exactly!! So what is the game??

Your profile is negative, your post is negative, you seek someone who fits your criteria but then don't list what that criteria is, you come across as a bit desperate, you exaggerate, your profile picture is two years old and not really all that flattering to you, you don't exude dominance, and whinning is a very unattractive trait in one who claims to be a dominant.

In other words .. it's not them, it's you. Be the sort of man who will attract the sort of woman you seek. It's as simple as that.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to steeljoe)

Post #: 4

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 9:52:02 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Celeste don't hold back girl. LOL just teasing i enjoy reading your posts.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 5

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 9:59:57 PM

Jobsdone

Posts: 20
Joined: 8/20/2004
Status: offline

It's not a game steeljoe..it's a dance. So listen to the musicians, then move as only you can.

_____________________________

slaps and tickles,

Jobsdone

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

Post #: 6

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 10:00:22 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

To blunt? ::chuckles::

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

Post #: 7

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 10:30:09 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Why is it that subs/slaves always leave their pictures out of their profiles, yet state that they are looking for a real long-term relationship??

They feel they do not have to show themselves to strangers to find a 24-7 relationship perhaps? Ask them if you want an answer

quote:

They also don't reply to your messages, yet a week later they claim they received No Messages?? Are they even serious??

I do not understand this part, do you mean they find someone else after a week? Or do you mean that they just did not respond to you and then claim they never got an email?

quote:

Because so many are on several sites, but state they can't find someone to match their criteria, and yet several match mine exactly!! So what is the game??

Just because they met your criteria does not mean that you mean theirs... think about it...

And then there are Celeste's observations and advice... she had some pretty cogent points that you may want to consider

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 11/9/2006 10:34:29 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to steeljoe)

Post #: 8

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 10:34:06 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

What does including a picture have to do with what sort of relationship someone seeks? Last I checked, those with or without pictures in their profiles are both still equally capable of having LTRs.
What exactly are your criteria? You dont mention them, yet you are not wiling to accept someone who deosnt meet them.
And on here, often people do not get messages. Its a quirk of the system, but from personal experience, it does indeed happen.
Its no more a game to the subs than it is to the Doms on here. Some are very seriously looking, others are just looking for playtime. Maybe he problem is that you are not finding those that are looking for what you are, and they dont bother responding becasue they dont see a match. Not everyone sends a polite no thankyou.
Keep trying, and maybe rewrite the profile to be a bit more inviting and informational.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 9

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 10:47:34 PM

NanaimoNeophyte

Posts: 23
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Your profile is negative, your post is negative, you seek someone who fits your criteria but then don't list what that criteria is, you come across as a bit desperate, you exaggerate, your profile picture is two years old and not really all that flattering to you, you don't exude dominance, and whinning is a very unattractive trait in one who claims to be a dominant.

In other words .. it's not them, it's you. Be the sort of man who will attract the sort of woman you seek. It's as simple as that.

Celeste

You are my hero, Celeste!

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 10

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/9/2006 11:05:48 PM

ChaOz

Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Chill out, it might take years to find someone and I think its probably easier getting a straight girl and breaking her in lol There's a lot of hit and miss, many dont want to meet and just think they know you from your profile/emails.. other just want to play scenes that they fantasise about as if your simply there for their enjoyment and dont undertand the concept of earning their desires. I dont know dude, I wouldnt expect to find anyone soon and dont take them seriously until they are actually kneeling before you. I dont get the 'exclude dominance' bit myself, I like to know I can chill out with a girl if I'm going to be in a D/s role with a straight relationship attached and I dont like lines blurred, I wouldnt presume to give someone orders and pressure them into submitting until a face to face agreement has been reached and they know who I am and exactly what I want.

I was introduced to it online, with a girl on a normal chat room asking out of the blue to be my online slave.. did research and it clicked for me. Once we did actually start to play it didnt fit into her fantasies as she just wanted someone to tell her to masterbate and watch on cam, which I felt was lame. I got creative but it didnt work so it ended. Others run off if you come on too strong. Its nuts but essentially these subs/slaves probably get a lot of offers per week and I know a few who have been in very dark situations because they trusted the wrong Dom so you just have to be patient and hope the right one comes along and takes that chance with you. Next time you come across a local girl online just ask to meet for coffee straight away, it shows your serious and its a great way to see if they are. Plus there is an unknown factor, some only want to submit to a certain type, the scene plays off on a lot of fantasy and emotional triggers so seriously.. dont take it personally and dont expect anyone to suddenly rush into something just because you put the word Dom on your title. I've even had scam artists promise me life long submission and love, if only I sent them some money or airline tickets or whatever lol

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 11

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 2:35:23 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steeljoe

Why is it that subs/slaves always leave their pictures out of their profiles, yet state that they are looking for a real long-term relationship?? They also don't reply to your messages, yet a week later they claim they received No Messages?? Are they even serious?? Because so many are on several sites, but state they can't find someone to match their criteria, and yet several match mine exactly!! So what is the game??

Groan......... oh Joe, your doing alot of assuming!
Your true isnt necessarly my true, your games may not be mine either.

Think out of the box.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to steeljoe)

Post #: 12

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 2:48:44 AM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline

Personally I think its because he LOVES heavy metal music and hates bar hopping..

I mean really.... the serious subs who are looking for a real 24/7 relationship arent gonna like that.

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 13

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 2:50:53 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: steeljoe

Why is it that subs/slaves always leave their pictures out of their profiles, yet state that they are looking for a real long-term relationship?? They also don't reply to your messages, yet a week later they claim they received No Messages?? Are they even serious?? Because so many are on several sites, but state they can't find someone to match their criteria, and yet several match mine exactly!! So what is the game??

I'd be willing to bet that for many, it's the one specific line in your profile that states that the submissive could work as long as the work didn't interfere with your life...yes yes, I'm sure you meant the life of the relationship.

So, to me, this reads as being very insulting of anyone who is out there pursuing a career. It belittles them and their efforts, and even if your profile matched exactly what I was looking for (if I was looking), I'd steer very clear of you.

Or, I'd be very upfront about what I "need" that my employment provides. I'd make darn sure that you were offering a retirement package commensurate with what I am offered through my place of employment. I'd make sure that in whatever we were deciding, that there were provisions drawn up all legal-like, to make certain that if we ever decided to end things, that I'd have a place to live, a car to drive that was in good condition and much more. I'd be sure you'd be paying my medical insurance and providing an income that would take the place of what you didn't want "bothering you." That would include medical benefits for my children. I'd want money in the bank from you that I'd otherwise be saving from the income I made and I'd want you to be sure to pay for all the classes I'd be taking in order to keep me current my given field. And THEN we could talk about how much my job would REALLY interfere with your life.

The reality is that relationships end - one way or the other, and there would be no way that I'd give up my career to be someone's submissive. I'm sure there are those who would, but even if we were the best match on the planet, It sure as hell wouldn't be me.

Beyond all that, I know that for me, even when I was looking, I didn't post a picture that EVER included my face. I did have a picture on another site at one time, but never ever did I show my face. My career doesn't make that a very good idea whatsoever. Besides, I rather like the process of getting to know someone without a picture. If your game is that you are making snap judgments based on the picture rather than the person, then that would be no less a game than someone else wanting to work it the other way.

So, you might want to take a look at how YOU present yourself and the games YOU play before accusing everyone else out there of gameplaying.

Oh yes, and just for the record, I have no profile to speak of...precisely because I'm only here for the forums.

juliet

(in reply to steeljoe)

Post #: 14

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 6:28:37 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Joe, your profile sounds like you've got a lot of baggage from past disappointments that you're carrying around! You can't write a profile scolding everyone who's reading it for things they haven't even done yet! I gotta be honest, if you sent me an email, after reading your profile, I'd just delete it! There's nothing there to attract me, and I already feel like I did something wrong, or else I probably will soon!

Why not re-write telling a potential sub positive things about yourself, instead of just listing a bunch of demands that must be met, and why you would be a good partner for her?

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 15

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 6:43:38 AM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

nice reply Jobsdone. Very well said :),

(in reply to Jobsdone)

Post #: 16

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 6:59:36 AM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

*blinks*
Some people spend years alone searching and studying; yet you feel by the tone of your profile that subs/slaves should be tripping over themselfs to fall to their knees before you. "No legal issues" "No mental baggage" and i can assume no children........ We are all human, we all have "baggage"! We love people not inspite of their shortcomings but because of them, that is the factor that makes each of us special.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 17

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 7:27:12 AM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

I get the impression that you think it's *easy* to find someone that meets your criteria. Please know that finding someone in the D/s M/s world is no different than in the vanilla world... in fact.... it may be even *more* difficult because of the various kinks, desires and *requirements* involved. You must be patient, and as others have said... if they don't answer, take that as a "no" and move on. She's out there somewhere - patience is a virtue!

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to steeljoe)

Post #: 18

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 9:03:01 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Joe you need to chill a bit you have only been on CM 3 months many people have been on a lot longer and have not found anyone yet. As others said your profile is negative try writing someting more postitive.

As to why i don't have a photo is because i am owned and my Master had told me not to put one up. Before you ask the next question why do i come to CM if i am owned? It is for the fourms.

Matt's littleone

< Message edited by littleone35 -- 11/10/2006 9:05:17 AM >

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 19

RE: Finding a True Sub with No Games - 11/10/2006 11:19:12 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

You're 51. You expect that this perfect sub has no children, owns no property, has no career. If she has any of the above, then she isn't available to just pick up and move. Would you quit your job and sell your house to move in with someone you just met? Then respect her enough to acknowledge that these things are as important to her as they are to you.

More importantly, let's say she does move up quitting her job and six months later it's obvious it isn't working out. Now she's out of her industry in a less than stellar job market. She'll be lucky at her age, assuming she's about yours, to find anything at half her previous salary immediately. Planning to compensate her for everything you made her lose? Didn't think so.

The polar bear's nice but your stance isn't.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 20

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