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Morrigel -> RE: refuse the Dom orders or not (11/11/2006 6:29:43 AM)
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I think there are two separate issues here. One is your need to be dominated. One is your need to give this man love.
Love is the desire to make someone else's life better. There is no other definition of the word which is valid. Everything else we feel toward someone when we are "in love" is about our own needs, fantasies and desires, and how we hope to have them fulfilled. This is not a bad thing, there is nothing wrong with it--but it is not love per se. It is erotic passion.
For whatever reason, this man is saying "no" to your erotic passion. He is entitled to say no to that passion if he chooses. The fact that you want to be dominated and to have a passionate relationship with him doesn't mean that he can return that passion, now or ever. It may well be that his health is the issue; it may be that his health is a convenient excuse for an underlying doubt or incapacity which he is unable or unwilling to discuss with you. The Emperor is not phrasing things in a "politically correct" way, but "not into her and copping out" is as true as any other way of putting it; he is bowing out of the passion, for reasons of his own, and you cannot force someone to give you passion.
Regardless, in a situation where your erotic passion has been refused, love for another person can still remain. Love is only the desire to make someone else's life better; it has nothing specifically to do with getting your daily spankin'! Sometimes the very best way to express love is to put your own needs and fantasies aside, recognize that It Is Not Going to Happen (for whatever reason), and say, "If there is anything I can do for you, to help you or to make your life better, please let me know."
--M
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