RE: refuse the Dom orders or not

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RE: refuse the Dom orders or not - 11/10/2006 1:06:22 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Back off and leave him with his thoughts. He is going through some life-changing events right now (it seems). Tell him you are backing off for the duration.. and then let HIM call You.

That's how I would handle it.

Indeed, I'd do the same.

There are very few people I'd *force* myself onto and even THEN I'd have to be VERY sure they wanted me to.

Maybe I'm strange but I couldn't care that deeply about anyone I'd known a matter of weeks, let alone already be deciding that I could cope/care about their medical problems without even knowing what they were.

agirl

(in reply to LotusSong)

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Post #: 21

RE: refuse the Dom orders or not - 11/10/2006 8:25:35 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

I see it as he is pushing her away with one hand but also in some of the statements she made he is still pulling her toward him with another.He needs to think as he stated so let him think...I felt not ready for a relationship whilst in the middle of a move..I cannot imagine how someone would feel if they were in the middle of a health crisis...Now with that being said...I have to admit I too in my head said..hummm...this condition is suspect..But I am a romantic at heart and I attempt to keep my cynacism on the back burner, and sometimes I get burnt..but hope always springs eternal...So give him room..write only happy generic newsy e-mails, do not pressure,keep the contact but lose the pressure....best wishes..Tempting

(in reply to agirl)

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Post #: 22

RE: refuse the Dom orders or not - 11/10/2006 10:38:15 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Um.. I hate to say this, but he has no right to make this descition alone. I understand where the m,asters make the desitions but when it comes to things like this it has to be a mutual thing. There are just some things a Master cant deside on their own they havent the right to!!

Magik's slave

Everyone has the right to make a decision about who they want to spend their life with. It is the one thing we always have the right to make a decision about and we do not have to take anyone else's input into making it.

It is just the reality of it. I am not saying it is fair, but life isn't fair.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 23

RE: refuse the Dom orders or not - 11/10/2006 10:53:18 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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You are all so gentle, here (even you, LotusSong *smile*). Maybe he really has been recently diagnosed, and is focusing on his health. Maybe he doesn't want the O.P. to suffer a relationship where he is becoming infirm (although considering both of their efforts to date are typing and other long distance connections, it is hard to imagine his recent diagnosis interfering in the relationship so far). Maybe...

...but from a "guy" perspective? He's just not that into her, and is copping out with this excuse.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to LotusSong)

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Post #: 24

RE: refuse the Dom orders or not - 11/11/2006 6:29:43 AM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
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I think there are two separate issues here. One is your need to be dominated. One is your need to give this man love.

Love is the desire to make someone else's life better. There is no other definition of the word which is valid. Everything else we feel toward someone when we are "in love" is about our own needs, fantasies and desires, and how we hope to have them fulfilled. This is not a bad thing, there is nothing wrong with it--but it is not love per se. It is erotic passion.

For whatever reason, this man is saying "no" to your erotic passion. He is entitled to say no to that passion if he chooses. The fact that you want to be dominated and to have a passionate relationship with him doesn't mean that he can return that passion, now or ever. It may well be that his health is the issue; it may be that his health is a convenient excuse for an underlying doubt or incapacity which he is unable or unwilling to discuss with you. The Emperor is not phrasing things in a "politically correct" way, but "not into her and copping out" is as true as any other way of putting it; he is bowing out of the passion, for reasons of his own, and you cannot force someone to give you passion.

Regardless, in a situation where your erotic passion has been refused, love for another person can still remain. Love is only the desire to make someone else's life better; it has nothing specifically to do with getting your daily spankin'! Sometimes the very best way to express love is to put your own needs and fantasies aside, recognize that It Is Not Going to Happen (for whatever reason), and say, "If there is anything I can do for you, to help you or to make your life better, please let me know."

--M

(in reply to Emperor1956)

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Post #: 25

RE: refuse the Dom orders or not - 11/11/2006 8:46:47 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Um.. I hate to say this, but he has no right to make this descition alone. I understand where the m,asters make the desitions but when it comes to things like this it has to be a mutual thing. There are just some things a Master cant deside on their own they havent the right to!!

Magik's slave

Everyone has the right to make a decision about who they want to spend their life with. It is the one thing we always have the right to make a decision about and we do not have to take anyone else's input into making it.

It is just the reality of it. I am not saying it is fair, but life isn't fair.

What I ment was it isnt right for him to diside for her that he is to sick for her to be with, if he doesnt want a relationship thats up to him but he cant say that he wont have a relationship because of her, thats her choice not his

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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Post #: 26