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thetammyjo -> RE: increased masturbation in a Ds relationship -- are we alone? (11/17/2006 7:40:51 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cloudboy
Masturbation is not about technique, place, or frequency ---- its about the erotic thoughts in one's head.
I suppose you are trying to see if your slave can maintain erotic thoughts in different physical positions, times, and places.
Well, yes and no. While erotic thoughts can play a big role if we only experience sex in one way that way can over-ride the thoughts in our heads to a big degree. Think about a true fetish -- without that object there is not sexual release regardless of how many erotic thoughts one has.
I think human beings tend to go for what is comfortable so we find one way that works sexual and we stick with it. That can be fine as long as we are either only with ourselves or only with a partner that has the same sexual model that works for them. That odds are that someone will be giving up some sexual pleasure for the other though and while that might be part of the submissive/slave dynamic it won't be mine.
I happen to be able to enjoy sex and reach orgasm in a variety of ways myself -- perhaps part of coming to masturbation later in life for me -- so I want partners who are this flexible. Fox is pretty darned good but he isn't perfect and I think part of his job as my slave is to strive to better himself and mine is to focus him on that goal.
As a few other women here have said, sexual flexibility is a good thing not just for the current partners but for the individual and future relationships.
Let me just give you a current example. Since getting his ear pierced the normal way that Fox masturbates has been very difficult -- you all don't know us well enough to get a diagram here of what position he uses. He tells me this and admits that it's making him a bit more stressed than he's used to -- as though I can't tell?
This is what got me thinking and developing the new orgasm program. With me, he's pretty good though there are a few things I'd like to see more of. While I knew intellectually that what he does alone affects how he behaves when we are together, it wasn't in my face so to speak until this issue of his popped up. So I see this as an opportunity to help him develop greater flexiblity for both of us.
In my experience the best training and the best service happen when both people can feel, know, and see benefits for each of them. I also think when the training tackles a need then it works better because you can sense and gauge the results.
Anyway I'm rambling; I've got a cold and I should get offline and get more rest.
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