where to begin???

where to begin??? (Full Version)

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offbeatenpath -> where to begin??? (2/7/2005 4:10:41 AM)
Somebody please Help me!!! I have for so long thought myself strange being who I am in a giant world. Now as I search through posts and meander around the site I feel lost in what I thought was a small fringe world. I thought it was a freakish side of myself that I longed would go away it never did. Now here I try to explore it and now I feel like a moron at a meeting of MENSA. Please somebody point me in a direction. Tell me where to start. I have missed so much and want to catch up. Help Me! Please!!!

tabbycat -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 5:40:28 AM)
smiles i know just what you mean. I felt the same way, and still do to a point. First of all BREATHE and welcome to a wonderful new journey. i know what its like to suddenly find you might not be the freak you always thought you were- to know you're not alone! I would say just read a ton of the threads here they can point you to a lot of great places. Secondly read, read, read. It helped me to find where I fit into things when I read everything i could get my hands on. [8\|] Good luck finding your way and remember you're not alone anymore. ~tabbycat

onceburned -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 7:08:48 AM)
Yes, I agree with tabbycat - reading is your best friend when you are first starting out. Here is a good starting point: The WizDomme 'Newbie Pack' I am sure that others here will have suggestions as well. Welcome! [:)]

BeachMystress -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 9:01:40 AM)
The WisDomme site is great. Some other links that might help you get a handle on things.. http://www.castlerealm.com/ http://www.leathernroses.com/ http://vanilla-not.com/index.html http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html http://www.cuffs.com/

HoosierScorpio -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 9:06:10 AM)
Start by reading and a good start is SM 101 by Jay Wisemen and get all the books you can get your hands in the lifestyle. Another good suggestion is by finding and attending your local munches and sloshes your area. There are allot of very good knowledgeable in the community that will be more than happy to help you learn. There are lifestyle events going all over the country that will have workshops you can attend for the fee of the event. Goodluck

sub4hire -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 9:14:23 AM)
quote: I feel like a moron at a meeting of MENSA. Please somebody point me in a direction. Why? When I was in mensa as a teenager I talked about the lifestyle. Actually that is where I met some of my best lifestyle friends. Although, since you don't want to do that. I'd have to echo the other's sentiment. Read and attend munches. You'll fit in real easy.

domtimothy46176 -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 10:48:09 AM)
"Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" by Miller and Devon might be helpful as a reference book in the basics. Timothy

Mercnbeth -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 11:26:19 AM)
quote: Somebody please Help me!!! You're in NEW YORK! At least it's what your profile says. Is the cowboy hat a dichotomy or are you going for the "Joe Buck" look? (From the movie Midnight Cowboy - not the SuperBowl announcer. Damn hate giving references that date me!) Anyway - pick up the Village Voice - There are at least 100 source references there for any number of lifestyle groups. In fact, there used to be a active 'Mensa' lifestyle group that posted their meetings. At the very least, go to the next TES (The Eulenspiegel (sp?) Society) meeting. http://www.tes.org/ If it was Pottsville, you'd have something to whine about - but NYC!??? Hell - there EVERYONE is kinky in some regard or another!

Voltare -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 11:50:07 AM)
Lots of good advice and links already, so I'll just mention that the 'lifestyle' may seem pretty cryptic, but in a few weeks it'll make a bit more sense. It's like learning anything new, just takes time and practice. The best advice anyone ever gave me about it (and the rest of life) was that if it feels right and doesn't hurt anyone, go with it. If it feels wrong, or hurts someone (including yourself) then it's probably not a good idea. The rest is just rhetoric. Welcome, and good luck Stephan

offbeatenpath -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 3:31:56 PM)
Thanks everyone I really appreciate the Help and as per merc & beth The hat was a bad gift that grew on me it is most often seen camping, rafting, cooking, and when I have had a few too many. again thanks to all

mistoferin -> RE: where to begin??? (2/7/2005 5:57:05 PM)
quote: NYC!??? Hell - there EVERYONE is kinky in some regard or another! Wow, guess that explains why I am so kinky....being born and raised there....lol.

Mercnbeth -> RE: where to begin??? (2/8/2005 10:09:55 AM)
quote: Wow, guess that explains why I am so kinky....being born and raised there....lol. erin - DITTO! In fact I think they don't even stock vanilla at Baskin Robbins in the city. It's 'French' vanilla (lots or oral), or 'whole bean' vanilla (obviously dildo play), and a whole gamut of vanilla 'swirls'. Come on, a 'vanilla fudge swirl' is an obvious reference to anal sex.

mistoferin -> RE: where to begin??? (2/8/2005 10:49:49 AM)
LMAO........my favorite ice cream growing up was Carvelle.....guess that was an obvious reference to knife play. They were famous for their soft serve twist.......no straight cones there.....only twisted. Not to mention that I grew up in an Irish neighborhood.....all those shileleaghs. Catholic school where we were regularly physically tortured......no wonder I'm submissive....I was trained from birth.

Mercnbeth -> RE: where to begin??? (2/8/2005 11:14:35 AM)
quote: Catholic school where we were regularly physically tortured......no wonder I'm submissive....I was trained from birth. erin, At first I thought I'd take this off the thread because we were getting off the thread focus, but maybe others will come out of the closet. This comment was great, and brought back many fond memories of my ill-spent youth. I went "all the way" going as far as attending a Jesuit University, 16 years of catholic education. I guess I could have been a priest or a Dom. (Insert sacrilegious, albeit too often accurate, comment about priests here.) "Catholic school where we were regularly physically tortured......no wonder I'm submissive....I was trained from birth." Often I've identified my catholic school education as the foundation of my introduction into the lifestyle. I remember being aroused while witnessing others being punished. Some favorites, beyond the basic 'impact play' (you know rulers/pointers or a backhand to the face, hands, or back side) were the humiliation tasks they gave. At a young age I got to witness the effects of holding a bar of soap between your teeth if you talked too much; extended kneeling on the hard marble between the church pews if you fooled around during mass, wearing gum on your nose for a week if you got caught chewing it in class, or walking the stairs for an entire day if you were caught running up them. ummmm such memories...such inspiration! Think I'll go out and get a school girl outfit for beth. Who said that formal religious education doesn't stay with you for the rest of your life?

mistoferin -> RE: where to begin??? (2/8/2005 11:29:32 AM)
quote: Think I'll go out and get a school girl outfit for beth. I know whenever I put mine on I have an overwhelming urge to kneel down and say "Forgive me Father for I have sinned". I must admit though I generally prefer Sir's "punishments" to all those Hail Mary's! I had one nun who had a knack for pulling those tiny little hairs on the back of your neck. To this day there is no faster way to make me melt than to pull my hair.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: where to begin??? (2/8/2005 11:35:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: Catholic school where we were regularly physically tortured......no wonder I'm submissive....I was trained from birth. Often I've identified my catholic school education as the foundation of my introduction into the lifestyle. I remember being aroused while witnessing others being punished. Some favorites, beyond the basic 'impact play' (you know rulers/pointers or a backhand to the face, hands, or back side) ummmm such memories...such inspiration! Think I'll go out and get a school girl outfit for beth. Who said that formal religious education doesn't stay with you for the rest of your life? LMAO.... You people are crazy, and going to hell... We only had sunday school at my house when I was very young, not much of above mentioned torture there.... Very funny, M

aliljaded1 -> RE: where to begin??? (2/8/2005 1:07:20 PM)
NYC is the best place to be YOURSELF blend in w/ the rest of us .. smiles and holds the door open points to the sign above it "Tied up and Twisted"......

ProtagonistLily -> RE: where to begin??? (2/8/2005 1:32:53 PM)
quote: You people are crazy, and going to hell... Yes, but there's just so much room in my handbasket, so you guys will have to get your own ~grin~ Lily

Overlord218 -> RE: where to begin??? (2/9/2005 10:00:28 PM)
Hmmmm... Ok, there's a couple of ways to go here. In terms of reading material, The Story of O is THE definitive textbook for BDSM. It's available anywhere in books or if you're a visual person, they made a movie of it way back in the 70's which managed to capture the book without delving into straight porn. Also, James Spader made a movie a few years ago called "Secretary", which is more D/s, but again, explains the motivation of the submissive... And the Dominant, for that matter. And let us not forget, there's nothing better than realtime interraction, be that here online in the myriad of lifestyle chatrooms, or your local lifestyle club scene. www.webmaze.com has always been very good I've found, but I'm sure there are thousands of others.... And I DO mean thousands. Hang in there eh? Overlord218

fencerpet19 -> RE: where to begin??? (2/10/2005 11:33:42 PM)
Yes definitely read the Story of O! It's a great book. I did happen to come across a website that has it online for free (though they do cut out the last chapter, as most american censors do) here: http://www.erotic-bdsm.net/ just click on the "reading room" and it's in there. I'm pretty new to all this too, and I know exactly how you feel! It's a great feeling to know that you aren't alone out there, and that TONS of other people share your same fantasies [:D] Ha ha I went to Catholic School as well! Even though we didn't have any corporal punishment, I think all that sheltering makes kids want to break out... or at least I did. grin I bet those old schoolgirl uniforms come in handy [;)] I should break mine out sometime lol. Best luck, FP

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