Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (Full Version)

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medievalwench -> Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 4:45:10 PM)

i have been pondering this since i have always thought of myself as a sub - the idea of TPE seemed so scary, but then i spoke to Master about my fears and He said, "but girl, that is what W/we are living". i seem to have hit a thought loop now and it keeps repeating in my head <lol>
Thankyou,
wench





Rayne58 -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 4:59:57 PM)

I've been thinking about this a bit too.

I identify as a sub. I don't give up control of everything in my life, for example I have my own money and the control over what it is spent on, if anything. Master doesn't want to control everything that I do. I choose my own clothes, although if we are going somewhere special He will indicate a preference for a certain outfit. My hair colour is my choice, as is its length. However I suspect that if He indicated a preference for a certain cut or colour, I would comply [:)]

However in talking to another Dominant (a friend of ours), he said that he would consider me as slave material. The way he ascertained it was this: He asked me if I would do anything my Master asked (within reason of course) and I said Yes I would. I guess it all depends on perspectives - how you see your relationship may not be how others perceive you![:D]



medievalwench -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 5:13:24 PM)

i think i have always considered myself to be a sub, because i had negative connotations about using 'slave' but since reading a lot here those are waning and i am wondering where i am other than at Master's feet.
i don't want to turn this into a 'levels of submission' thingy though because i have read a lot of those on here already.
i dress as i am told - not specific items of clothing usually but in a specific style - as far as my hair and makeup also, Master has control of my income, and my tasks in the household are also given by Him. noone has said that i am more of a slave than a sub, but i think maybe i am, or i am heading that way, i know that really it is what is inside that counts and inside i instinctively bow to Him, and believe that He actually does know what is best for me more than i do myself in the huge majority of cases.
i am now wondering what my profile should be listed under...



nikaa -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 5:13:51 PM)

Total power exchange, when one person willingly hands over personal autonomy to another.

In my opinon this term can and does apply to both submissives and slaves. I beleive both can/do turn over complet authority to another person.

In many ways I think your question, is often asked by every submissive or slave. Goddess knows the debate of slave vs. submissive is an eternal one among the general populose of the BDSM world.

In the end does the label you use really matter? Are you not serving your one in a way that works for the both of you?

I would personally sit down with my Master and ask him, " Why do you see me as a ******"
 
Edited to add: I don't beleive that being slave means you are micromanged or that you give up everything.



medievalwench -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 5:16:44 PM)

Thankyou nikaa, i will ask Him before i change anything on my profile, i am required to do so anyway so that He can approve it.
I have read many of your posts and i like how you think,
Sincerely,
wench



nikaa -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 5:21:47 PM)

medievalwench,
 
I saw your question to me in the Gorean forum, but I didn't think that was exactly the most approriate place to answer you. I was in the process of emailing you my answer when I saw this thread.
 
*laughs*
 








sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 5:50:44 PM)

I am a slave and Master and I practice TPE. You do not have to be a slave to do this. Turning over total power is not a slave thing.



medievalwench -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 6:09:27 PM)

Master has replied to my question and He has said that i am His girl and that i am His slave, He named me wench because i serve Him in all ways; He has told me i should alter my profile accordingly, i don't know why i didn't just ask Him first except that i'm tired as i had a really long day so i guess i'm a bit dopey!
Thankyou for your replies,
wench



nikaa -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 6:22:37 PM)

medievalwench,
 
I am glad that you talked with him about your question/confusion on the subject and that he was able and willing to explain his reasonings to you.




BDSM05478 -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 6:41:39 PM)

I would say most definatlly yes! lol isn't it funny how these states of development just seem to happen and we are the last to realize it



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 8:03:58 PM)

YOu don't seem to have figured out that labels have very little meaning outside of your own relationship.  Actions don't define your label and personal relationship orientation.  Stop trying to make a box for yourself to fit into. 

ANd stop just accepting what your master says- when he says something that confuses you- ASK HIM TO EXPLAIN FURTHER and enter into some intellectual discourse with him.



Celeste43 -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/13/2006 8:23:38 PM)

In three years I've told him flat out no only once. Reminding him of my schedule and why it doesn't fit something else doesn't count. But I am a sub, I consider myself a sub and he considers me one. There are areas of my life he doesn't want to control and there are things he wouldn't demand of me knowing how much harm they would cause.

We mainly consider ourselves compatible and in love who just want to spend as much time together even if that time is repairing lamps and changing oil in the car(him) or folding laundry and cooking (me). We don't use labels, we just work on communication and caring. In the long end the label is unimportant, the feelings are what count.



medievalwench -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/14/2006 3:22:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

YOu don't seem to have figured out that labels have very little meaning outside of your own relationship.

i'm a very word oriented person i just think i'm somewhat pedantic in that way, i do realise what you are saying and i actually agree; its just that i like to get things clear in my head and specific definitions of things help me to look at the world in a new way that i might otherwise have blocked out.

Actions don't define your label and personal relationship orientation.  Stop trying to make a box for yourself to fit into. 

that is a bad habit of mine, not so much in RL but online as i find people in general are always basically asking what another person it. i guess my sociolinguistics background is somewhat restrictive.
i do think actions define what my relationship is though, what else is a relationship but a series of interactions?

ANd stop just accepting what your master says- when he says something that confuses you- ASK HIM TO EXPLAIN FURTHER and enter into some intellectual discourse with him.


i have done that this morning, it wasn't possible when i posted the question as Master was winding down ready for bed and needed His space. He had also been thinking about this more and we ended up with a discussion of what various terms mean to U/us in what way our relationship works, and  general issues  W/we have with eachother so it was a pretty big thing to get into but i think it has helped to sort out the things that have been in my mind since i was collared - i think that my collaring unearthed a lot of relatively small things that needed to be discussed.

i came to the conclusion that i am a girl who serves her Master with all of herself and that is enough.  Master  decided  that seeing as i don't think i fit the definition of either slave or sub fully  that its okay for me to use either as i see fit, i've gone for sub for now, i don't think i am totally one thing or the other, i'm just me.

Thankyou for your message, even though i've been living this way for almost 7 years i need 'freshening up' occasionally.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/14/2006 6:56:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross


ANd stop just accepting what your master says- when he says something that confuses you- ASK HIM TO EXPLAIN FURTHER and enter into some intellectual discourse with him.



So true. Communication is so important in any relationship. If you do not understand something, ask for clarification. He might assume you understood and things start spiraling from there. Nothing is concrete and set in stone in BDSM. Sure some like labels. Find what works for you and you will be much happier and less confused. Good luck.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/15/2006 9:47:43 AM)

IMO..I have found that many start off as submissive in a relationship and that when the relationship becomes a long term thing and the trust has been established and reaffirmed over and over , then does it seem to me it progresses into a Master/slave relationship.But as many have said there are only the definitions between the 2 that count....Tempting



Rayne58 -> RE: Does TPE 24/7 necessarily mean that you are a slave? (11/16/2006 4:09:48 PM)

http://www.rlslavery.com/

Reading this site, it would seem that I am forever destined to remain a sub [:D]



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