"Wannabe-doms"

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lilmado -> "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 4:14:28 AM)
Hi, As you know, there are so many wannabe-doms on this site (although I guess many of you reading this are not...I tend to think people who come to forums, read what others are thinking, and leave comments are more real than people just serching for a dom/sub out there). I often get scare of those wannabes and hide my pf for a while untile I feel a bit better...that's why I'm hiding my pf... Anyway, I tend to lose interest the morment I felt "wannabe" from doms...I don't really understand those "wannabe-doms". As a sub, "I" rather want to be "wannabe-sub"...Although I definitely want my master to feel "he wants me to be his sub and to serve him", I want to feel "I really want to be his sub and to serve him" more than he feel"". I guess that makes me so eager to serve him and makes me a better sub....and I feel much happier when I'm a sub of someone to who I'm dying to serve[:)] For you, doms, isn't it better or makes you happier to have a sub who is sooo eager to serve you than a sub by who you really want to be served, of course when when you have a certain amount of interest in both...? I don't know...I am wondering which situation is better for most of doms.

Kalira -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 4:50:26 AM)
I am sorry, but I am really having a hard time understanding what you are asking here. /looks confused

lilmado -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 5:17:45 AM)
Ahaha....sorry, English is my 2nd language and my english is terrible...ahaha OK...as a sub, I'd like to have a dom who I really want to serve than a dom who really want me to serve him because the former makes me really earger to serve him so that makes me a better sub. And I "guess" ...for a dom, it might be better to have a sub who really wants to serve "him" than to have a sub who he really want to be served by.... But I am a sub, and I don't know...so I was asking which situation doms want.... Not sure if I could explained... ok... sub A ...who really wants to be your sub and really want to serve you. and you are also interested in subA. sub B... you really want to have sub B as your sub, but sub B is not as eager to serve you as sub A is. Which sub you want? Guess definitely subA and...I want to subA, but many wannabe-doms seem to seek subB...so...I was wondering...

Kalira -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 5:25:14 AM)
ahh ok, I think I understand now [&:] Since I am not a Dominant, I really can not answer your question. However, I will say this. When Master and I first started talking, neither of us were really thinking past just being friends. He found some things that I had written interesting and wanted to discuss them; I found his humor to be infectious. Don't look for someone based on onlly what you want from the D/s or M/s side of the relationship. Start with simple things like hobbies, likes and dislikes. Service to another means nothing if you do not at least like each other. [:)]

emdoub -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 6:09:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilmado sub A ...who really wants to be your sub and really want to serve you. and you are also interested in subA. sub B... you really want to have sub B as your sub, but sub B is not as eager to serve you as sub A is. I think I see what you're asking here. While eagerness to serve is one of the things I find really attractive, there are other things, too - and there's often enough the goal of turning a type B into a type A. The slave I collared most recently (who I granted manumission to almost 4 years ago), was a type A - not really my type at all, but the drive to serve was so intriguing that I collared him. Until it blew up, it was a pretty satisfactory relationship for both of us. The slave I had before that was remarkably attractive, but she had no interest in me at all when we met. After pursuing her for a while, we started dating, with occasional scenes in the dates. Two years after I collared her, we went 24/7. I owned her (or thought I did) for about 10 years after that - the relationship lasted about a dozen years, though she started as a type B. I don't think that this made me a wanna-be. Sometimes, the sparks are immediate and mutual - sometimes, the attraction is one-sided, but grows into something more. Does that explain why those guys whom you don't find appealing are pursuing you anyway? Midnight Writer

CrazyC -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 7:27:23 AM)
hmmm. i'm a sub also so can't speak as a Dom, but i am thinking it is one who wants to serve them. At the same time there are levels (not actual labeling levels) of how much a sub is giving. I have found many Doms have their own prefrence of how much they want the sub to submit. Some like the sub to be completely submisive where they can pretty much controle the subs every hour, and others like the sub to just respest the authority of the Dom but able to make pretty much make the rest of the decisions for themselves. i think that is why it is so pounded here that each person has their own fit, and to keep looking tell you find someone who fits it.

CrazyC -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 7:29:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: emdoub Does that explain why those guys whom you don't find appealing are pursuing you anyway? Midnight Writer Yes, it explains alot...thank you.

mnottertail -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 7:42:12 AM)
reminds me of the old song--- I wannabe Bobbies slave, I wannabe Bobbies slave...... Not all people are immediately receptive to all universal notions, and women under the battering rams of penis wielding men, will oft times let the word 'No!' roll off the tip of their tongue, just to have a place to breath.......... But they don't always mean it, many times they just haven't thought it through. Ron

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 8:26:15 AM)
I think the best relationships have both.

Celeste43 -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 8:38:58 AM)
Well I can't imagine that anybody wants to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with them. Very depressing. But about the 'wannabe', I find that so often an offensive way of saying that anyone who doesn't do the things I like to do, and doesn't fit me can't possibly dominate anyone. Just because Dom A is a bad fit for sub C doesn't mean he won't be perfect for sub G. Doesn't make him a wannabe, just incompatible with C

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 9:21:39 AM)
Exactly Celeste!..it always comes down to compatability.Just look out for those HNG's .as many have proposed it is better to meet in meatlife if possible..[:)]...Tempting

MagiksSlave -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 11:15:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 Well I can't imagine that anybody wants to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with them. Very depressing. ((whimpers [:o][:o])) tell me about it.. Ok hijack over back to your regularly schedualed thread Magik's slave

MissUnleaded -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 11:56:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilmado sub A ...who really wants to be your sub and really want to serve you. and you are also interested in subA. sub B... you really want to have sub B as your sub, but sub B is not as eager to serve you as sub A is. Which sub you want? Guess definitely subA and...I want to subA, but many wannabe-doms seem to seek subB...so...I was wondering... You'd think a sensible person would want what they can have, but after years of listening to friends complaining about their committment-phobic, married, imprisoned, abusive or otherwise emotionally unavailable love interests, I have to conclude that there is a perverse streak in human nature that makes us want someone precisely because they don't really want US. Maybe doms are more self aware than the average person but my sample size is not large enough to draw a meaningful conclusion. Sorry I can't be of more help. [>:]

lilmado -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 4:35:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: emdoub there are other things, too - and there's often enough the goal of turning a type B into a type A. the relationship lasted about a dozen years, though she started as a type B. Sometimes, the sparks are immediate and mutual - sometimes, the attraction is one-sided, but grows into something more. Does that explain why those guys whom you don't find appealing are pursuing you anyway? Midnight Writer Oh, my god...now I kinda understand why...ahaha !!!although I am still a sub A who want to serve a dom who I really want to serve from the begining. I wonder why I didn't notice this...although the role is different, it is kinda same concept I have as my ideal...in which although a dom is interested in having me as his sub, but it is not as much as I am eager to serve him in the begining...but by serving him well, I hope I can witch him to love me as his sub...

emdoub -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/15/2006 10:15:06 PM)
So you're doing the same thing that they're doing - which should make it easier to understand why they're doing that incomprehensible thing that they do - because you do it too. Welcome to humanity - we rarely make sense, but we do amuse. Midnight Writer

LadyHugs -> RE: "Wannabe-doms" (11/16/2006 12:45:23 PM)
Dear lilmado, Ladies and Gentlemen; In my mind's eyes I see, people are precious gem stones. Some are still in the ground, some have just surfaced, some have been picked up and appraised, some have been cut but, not really polished and then those who have been cut, polished and shine brightly in the sun or capture the twinkle of light from the moon. There are those who 'want to be' a good dominant or submissive. And, although on the surface, they are rough and are busy finding themselves like a surface gem; it may take time to find someone who matches with you at your level of experience in the lifestyle and what would make you so happy and shining like the cut and polished stone. Although no diamond and or snowflake is identical, the desire to match extremely close is the goal to reach. Some dominants have gone to that cut and polished level. Some have not and, perhaps have not descovered what a beautiful gem you are, as they haven't discovered how to see the rough gem within. So, it can be the same with you. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

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