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LadyHugs -> RE: Am i really sub? (12/19/2006 6:58:44 PM)
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Dear marksl, Ladies and Gentlemen;
First, I must state my sincere concern about the first paragraph, to which you wrote; ... "in relationships in the past I played the game for a while then reverted back to form, being assertive stubborn, etc." My focus is on the words... "I played the game."
To some of us, this isn't a game, especially when attempting to find a partner that will last beyond a 'game' period, such as role play and or somebody acting what they are not, in order to gain self satisfaction, which I see as a manipulation. It really isn't being honest to others when you make sport of something people take serious, unless you associate with like minded individuals to where it is all a huge game, like a match/game/fun and frolic and then part ways to be who you are sort of thing.
The other key words I focused on your original post; was in both paragraphs. One, "...I want to be sexually submissive but, my character is over powering;" The other key words, "...I don't fit easily into the male submissive box, yet it excites me at the same time." It is my belief that your judgment at this time is that being male submissive is sexually exciting and it is short lived."
The "general" philosophy in male submission, is not just within the areas of sex acts, sex excitement/arrousals. It is the whole attitude and behavior in other interactions with another, not exclusively for sex.
As for being stubborn, difficult and such--the paragraphs in the original post has a lot of "I want" in them. In not seeing that you like to manipulate a painful response, I do not see that you would be a masochist. Being difficult might be more manipulation and control then anything else, especially when you got the reward of kinky sex, you don't want to 'play' fair and give the other partner what they want/need, so being difficult is TOPPING from the bottom; as to have the other person quit/give up and or ignore you.
In my mind's eyes I see, even those who bottom will be gracious enough to return some form of appreciation for that brief 'dance' in D/s. It is understood that both partners have needs and wants. It isn't just one sided or something to the tune of "Do me."
I can not tell you to quit or to stay--just consider. The choice must be yours to make, just as it would be my choice and or anybody else's choice would be--you must do choices as to fit yourself.
That said, given what you have offered the readers, to which the focus has only been sexual; I find bottoms will at least be submissive for a while longer and appreciate the other partner. I am not sure if you would fall under that definition, given what was offered in your first and original post.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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