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ORIGINAL: slavejali


I was thinking of some stuff that gets all weird on here and putting myself in the position of those at the firing end. Example; If it was Masters desire for me to use third speech, cap up, write about something that I considered private, I would do it and cop the flack. Nothing anyone said would make one iota of difference to me cause I would know in my heart I was just obeying my Master and making him happy...and thats what its all about. None of those things would be a reflection on him or me or our relationship in any kinda negative way, because I did it, no matter what anyone thought, or got annoyed by, all it would realisitcally be would be a reflection of my obedience to him. Any adverse reactions to it would simply be people not accepting our style of relationship and casting their bias towards us. It's easy for me to see who is acting with integrity and who is not in cases like that.

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Or does this thread stem from the idea that some submissives disagree with the idea of always/sometimes/frequently asking "Why?"

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A highly talented amateur pianist is submissive and in a relationship with a DOM. The DOM forbids her from playing the piano or practising b/c it takes time away from him. Her response to his demand is "Yes Master, whatever you say."

a. I'd want to kill the DOM

b. I'd think the sub was crazy and short sighted.

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Consent, consent, consent! I think perhaps the one thing that most of us here agree on. Your actions in a public forum _are_ a reflection on you, always will be. And if they were ordered by your Master, and we know it, they are a reflection on him, and by extension, a reflection on you and on your relationship. And if you, by those actions, hurt those who have not consented(including their feelings or reputation), that is _not_ ok.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
Or does this thread stem from the idea that some submissives disagree with the idea of always/sometimes/frequently asking "Why?"

As most people on the "Asking Why" thread said- asking questions is a limited exercise, and that through training, the need for "why" answers can diminish.  Eventually, you either do it or you don't.  And yet there are still exceptions :)

But I'm glad you brought up that point because a lot of people don't see that conflict coming and end up feeling quite trapped in it- the whole guilt of "subs don't ask questions, they obey" and yet in order to obey well, questions need to be answered.

Which is why I said on the "Asking Why" thread, on the "Trusting threads" and now with this thread- we're talking about a process here, something that takes work and time and regular evaluation by those involved.  Lots of people want to make Ms relationships into a "absolute, in one moment you turn into perfect slave or you suck" when relationships, even Ms ones, are a work in progress.

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if someone considers these as highjacking the thread, please state so and I will start a new thread.  I think they relate to the original post, though...

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ORIGINAL: slavejali


Thankyou for your post, I don't think I've seen a post of yours till now. I'm not disagreeing with what you are saying, the point there again is, if you've chosen your relationship wisely, however it plays out and whatever you do, should simply just be seen as domination and submission...and its all good.

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ORIGINAL: Lady Alaria
*blink, blink*

Not sure exactly how to take that LA... not sure exactly what form of sarcasm you are or aren't using.  Ah well....

Going home to wipe my feet on a sub now.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Exactly, it's the ones who sleep on the floor and let their doms play with other chicks who should get looked down on and made to feel stupid

:D

Love the "doormattyness"

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In ANY relationship 
1. clearly communicate your needs, desires, boundaries UP FRONT
2. think, feel, reflect  and communicate after every scene (interaction)
3. expect change

The collar I give him marks him as mine, and as with any precious possession, I am responsible for his care, mental and physical. 

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Quote: slavemaia
i still remember the exact day that switch was turned on and it has never turned off since.

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."
Sri da Avabhas

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ORIGINAL: slavejali

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Or does this thread stem from the idea that some submissives disagree with the idea of always/sometimes/frequently asking "Why?"

I can only speak from the experience of my relationship, but if i was constantly asking "Why?" Master would be asking me "Why do I percieve myself as his submissive/slave?" That's not the deal, that's not what the relationship is about. How bloody tiresome for the dominant(the type of dominant that I am attracted to anyways) to have to live in a relationship like that.

On another angle: If Master saw me hesitate on something, he would be asking me "Why?" and would leave room for me to explain my feelings or thoughts so that he could handle them.....and in that way, we both end up happy. At other times, he wouldn't and I would simply submit...after all thats my role within the relationship...to submit....if at times "blindly". Yet even then, its not really blindly, I'm doing it through the recognition of the relationship I am in, so its always consciously. My decision and choice to do this came at the beginning of the relationship, it was the invisible "contract" I signed.

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A highly talented amateur pianist is submissive and in a relationship with a DOM. The DOM forbids her from playing the piano or practising b/c it takes time away from him. Her response to his demand is "Yes Master, whatever you say."

a. I'd want to kill the DOM

b. I'd think the sub was crazy and short sighted.

Ok, I've played (toyed) with this scenario, these are the thoughts that came to me.

Every relationship I have been in I have been submissive to my partner. In my list of priorities in life "relationship" is right up there at the top of the list. Anything else I do are just....things I do, yet all things I do should stem from, or be of, benefit to the relationship, if its not, it gets dropped. Looking back on my life, my life has changed directions 180 degrees many times, perhaps each time I've started a new relationship, because of my partners influence and my desire and willingness to submit to them.

Example: I've always loved music, yet with my late husband he couldn't stand it and I lived around 5 years of my life without any. I didn't feel deprived because my relationship and its harmony and me pleasing my partner was the very most important thing in my life, everything else fades into insignificance.

I've been in relationships where I've worn leather, others where I've worn lace (damn that sounds like a song lol), changed groups of friends, changed what I ate,  changed job directions, changed lifestyles, I've ridden with the hells angels and had dinner with diplomats ..everything to suit my partner...and I wouldn't regret it ever or think I made a mistake. The one theme remained which is of utmost importance to me, "relationship" and my submission to it.

I have never lost my "self" only changed the outward circumstances, I've always been the same, submissive.

To get what your saying in alignment with one of the things I was attempting to get across in the topic. "We have the responsibility to choose our dominant wisely - then submit"....in that pianist scenario...if that girl's whole heart was in her piano playing, she shouldn't agree to enter into a relationship that would stop it. There are plenty of doms in the sea, and probably a lot that would love that. I basically think more effort should be applied in agreeing to a relationship.

Again, for me, my general ideologies around life focus around relationship and my submission to it - and thats ok too and doesn't make me a doormat, yet from all intents and purposes could see how others could see it that way.

The other thing to note is, if left to my own devices, I am a fully funtional human being, capable of thought, inspiration and action. My submission needs to be "taken" and "controlled" and that can only happen by a dominant force. In my younger years, I was not so "intelligent" about what dominant force took me...and I winded up in a sticky situation...but as life goes on we become more intelligent and realise we have a choice....and we wind up in relationships that are really cool...but realistically the same dynamic is playing out, domination and submission..hrmm...(thinking whether to go into this)...Ok gonna make a really fucked up statment but hey ... even in the abusive relationship I was in...my submission enjoyed it, I loved the sense of control, I loved the domination, I loved the submission....In that extreme situaton I touched something deep inside me. I am submissive, point blank. It took me till I was nearly dead to realise, that I could be dominated and not killed...and that in life we have a choice as to what relationships we enter into. I grew up.

Maybe having been in that kinda relationship it was the impetus for me to realise my submissive chore and come home to it. It may have also been the impetus for me not to be fearful of dropping really down into submitting to a relationship, I've been at the point of death and in that moment realised I could run away...what is there to fear after coming to a realisation like that? How can I ever be afraid of submission after that? What is there to fear from a man who 'consciously' chooses domination, not through being an abuser and lack of self control but because he can appreciate the essence of domination to whatever intensity he likes...and he can do it in whatever style he likes, he is giving me what I want..he is complimenting me....and is not an axe murderer or abuser.

(I'm not really totally happy that I have expressed that exactly how I would like..so hope it makes sense to someone)

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ORIGINAL: slavejali

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I can imagine living without music if my master demanded that, using your example,

 
It was interesting when Master entered my life. He is a music fiend...and very LOUD music (probably because he is deaf..well not really, it was LOUD music in his 20's that caused his deafness)...but anyways what I wanted to say was...whe Master brought music back into my life again, I think I went into shock for awhile, it almost felt imposing on my being, I was so used to silence, I realised I hadn't danced or sang for the longest time..it was like a re-awakening in so many ways..yet I can see both those situations, from both partners, through my submission to their "way" gave me a gift, and neither was lacking.
 
Partner who didn't like music and liked everything very quiet: (Actually there was more to this relationship than just the loss of that scensory factor)..no TV either for example...no sex....hardly any outside impetus at all in so many ways)....I lost any desire/need I had for outside things to provide my mind with "entertainment". I found music within me and got the chance to really connect with myself. (Btw,,, I still considered him my Master, even though this relationship had nothing to do wth BDSM...in fact...he felt that my previous involvement in BDSM was abusive and tried to "heal" me from it)
 
Master who likes music and outside fun and games: Its allowed me to integrate that sense of well-being inside me with interaction and participation in "things". It's allowed "application". ....umm errr....And I get sex again now and a whole bunch of fun lol
 
Dunno, just thoughts....but I can say, my absolute submission in each situation... was all good and didn't take anything in the slightest from me...."added to" perhaps.