RE: How do you deal with angst?

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RE: How do you deal with angst? - 11/16/2006 7:14:27 PM

KaramelGoddess

Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
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Bake bread... you can pound out your frustrations on the dough and you get the satisfaction of eating something delicious that you made out of your negative energy when the bread comes out of the oven.
~Kara

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"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

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RE: How do you deal with angst? - 11/16/2006 7:28:32 PM

ladychatterley

Posts: 132
Joined: 3/10/2006
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Thank you all for your kindness. Much of my angst is meta-angst--as in something little happens and it sets off a "what the heck am I doing" and all of your kindness and warmth and acceptance was so very healing.
Thank you!

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RE: How do you deal with angst? - 11/16/2006 7:37:07 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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LA always says that if you can think of it, someone else is doing it and she's right. We all get that "what the heck am I doing" feeling at one time or another. Just don't dwell on it, that's all.

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RE: How do you deal with angst? - 11/17/2006 6:54:44 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
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Repeat after me: "Inside my head is not a friendly neighborhood".

Girl, you spend too much time in there, rolling messes around, mixing up your Play -Doh colors to where it all comes out looking like poop.

Get out of your head and talk to a trusted someone whether it's a friend or your Dom. In your head is a useful place for grocery-list making, driving, some work, cleaning, making travel reservations, cooking, laundry, etc. For life's questions a LITTLE headwork is good, but if you are getting stuck in a swirl there, making things and yourself wrong for how it all is, when the voices call HANG UP and go see a movie with a friend. Talk to someone, get off that track of thought and go do something useful or indulgent. It will eventually subside. Then you are not feeding the crazy wolf, but the sane one.

love
cks

< Message edited by classykindasassy -- 11/17/2006 6:55:53 PM >

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"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

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RE: How do you deal with angst? - 11/19/2006 11:36:32 AM

kinkiminx

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/5/2005
From: Brighton, Sussex, UK
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Everyone has fears and anxieties!

I'm not the best person to ask, I've had to learn how to put mine aside and think over them myself - when it comes down to it I've not often found that people have the answers. I can't get melodramatic, because if I did there would be no one to pick me up afterwards. Just means I don't have the option, not that I never have any worries, we're all human.

Find kink aware friends to chat to as well as your vanilla friends, and try to educate those who don't know... as you discovered, a therapist could be difficult if they have no understanding of BDSM, though there are some who do -I used to know a guy in the lifestlye who was also a retired psychologist, so there must be some out there. Talking things through with a Dom is essenrial, he needs to know how you feel, so don't feel bad about telling him!

As for

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladychatterley
Everyone else seems so perfect, and I'm just not....

LOL. I have the organisational skills of a spanked arse, and I don't mean that lightly... I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on regularly...

enough said, that's open enough for me on a public forum! ;)

It's more that you have the courage to put yourself out here as you are and be honest that you are not perfect.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladychatterley
For example, it is all I can do to not nag him about smoking. I just can't be supportive of that. I know he will quit if/when it is right for him, but I'm also aware that I really, really want him to quit. Part of me is counting on his words about quitting to happen at some point. Not really a good submissive, and yet that's where I am honestly.

So maybe this doesn't make me very submissive, but honestly, if you love someone, how can you support them in doing someting which could potentially kill them? I wouldn't, and I'll even be honest and say I wouldn't regardless to whether I could.

And no, you don't have to think someone is perfect to submit to them; being under the illusion that someone you know that well is perfect, would be to put it bluntly, delusional. No one is perfect.

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RE: How do you deal with angst? - 11/19/2006 12:05:06 PM

OnlyHis

Posts: 137
Joined: 2/25/2004
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quote:

I'm probably more melodramatic than most, and I wish I didn't make silly things a big deal, but when I read the threads I just have to wonder--don't y'all ever freak out like I do? Where do you put your angst? What happens during your dark nights of the soul? Do you doubt? Fear? Rebel? Or do you all just know it will work out all right? Or do you all have a kinky friend who doesn't know your partner, so you can tell them your fears?

Oh yeah I freak out more often than I care to admit. During my dark days I try to remember all the positives of the relationship I have with Master. Doubts sometimes can be a good thing, they cause you to rethink what you want in life and many times can make you see that you are already on the road to having what you want. But doubts can cause hurt to not just to yourself but to your Dominant too so take care there. Fears yes, still get them from time to time. Had my share of inner battles and battles Master has helped me through in regards to the fears. This can be in what is happening around our relationship or what He expects from His slave.

I don't always feel like things will work up but most times they do. Just have faith in yourself and in your Dominant. And yes I have a few friends that I turn to when things feel like they are spinning out of control. They have helped me a great deal. Master knows them and thinks it is good for me to have these shoulders to lean on.

Best to you

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RE: How do you deal with angst? - 11/19/2006 12:13:19 PM

OnlyHis

Posts: 137
Joined: 2/25/2004
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cks, I agree with your words when you say " Get out of your head." Master often tells me I think to much and I know that has caused me and us problems in the past. I am working on that. :)

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