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MizSuz -> RE: Red Flag or Just Plain Jitters? (2/9/2005 9:23:32 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tabbycat
Here's what I wanted to ask.... Could my own jitters about meeting someone be causing me to see "red flags" where there aren't any? This person has done nothing really that would give me cause to worry. The only thing is that we haven't even met yet and he wants some sort of contact with me every day. While that is something I find fair of a Dom to ask his sub...I don't know how I feel about "submitting" to someone before I meet them. I know a lot of people start online, but since we planned the meeting so fast I don't see why.
Is his wish for daily contact the only "red flag" you are having? If so, have you discussed it with him? Not so much to object (unless you do object) but to clarify with him why he wants it? Have you clarified with him that, while you may be looking for someone to submit to you are not willing to submit until you are willing to submit?
Lay it out there, preferrably in the spirit of trying to understand each other better rather than blaming or pointing a finger or complaining.
Ask him. His answer may be able to help you separate the wheat from the chaffe (or in your case the jitters from the flags) and could only serve to allow you to communicate and/or understand each other better.
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