RE: Red Flag or Just Plain Jitters?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Red Flag or Just Plain Jitters?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Red Flag or Just Plain Jitters?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Red Flag or Just Plain Jitters? - 2/9/2005 9:23:32 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tabbycat

Here's what I wanted to ask.... Could my own jitters about meeting someone be causing me to see "red flags" where there aren't any? This person has done nothing really that would give me cause to worry. The only thing is that we haven't even met yet and he wants some sort of contact with me every day. While that is something I find fair of a Dom to ask his sub...I don't know how I feel about "submitting" to someone before I meet them. I know a lot of people start online, but since we planned the meeting so fast I don't see why.

Is his wish for daily contact the only "red flag" you are having? If so, have you discussed it with him? Not so much to object (unless you do object) but to clarify with him why he wants it? Have you clarified with him that, while you may be looking for someone to submit to you are not willing to submit until you are willing to submit?

Lay it out there, preferrably in the spirit of trying to understand each other better rather than blaming or pointing a finger or complaining.

Ask him. His answer may be able to help you separate the wheat from the chaffe (or in your case the jitters from the flags) and could only serve to allow you to communicate and/or understand each other better.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to tabbycat)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Red Flag or Just Plain Jitters? - 2/12/2005 7:36:48 PM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

It is a few days after your original post and I am curious as to whether your worries were justified or not? He sounded like he was rushing things a bit but....

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to MizSuz)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Red Flag or Just Plain Jitters? - 2/12/2005 9:58:59 PM

tabbycat

Posts: 23
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

UPDATE--- Thank you all for everything you've said and advise you've given me. I'm glad to say that my worries were NOT anything. We met, talked, saw a movie and had a very nice evening. He gave me a rose and was very kind about my first concerns. I'll be sure to update you all if there is anything else to update.... But YES i'm fine, and I had a wonderful time.